The story of us - Yolla Will (novels for teenagers TXT) 📗

One

Letter one.

To you,

If there is anything I know for sure right now, then it would be the fact that I know nothing. There is too much I don’t know in this world, my life is nothing but a series of whys and how’s, it’s the kind of life you live thinking you have it all figured out… when really you couldn’t even guess what you were having for lunch right. So Maybe that was the point of living, maybe living was always about solving the puzzle, or maybe we _humans_ aren’t supposed to figure out the truth, maybe life’s a fantasy and we’re here to live it until we run out of time, run out of hope or maybe both.

I liked you; really liked you, at least that was what I used to think. You made me laugh….people say we love to be close to the ones who makes us laugh.

You felt like rain, I love rain…I do. The feeling of the sky crying with me, telling me it’s okay…that I’m strong and it won’t think of me less when I cry. That even though my heart is ripping out of my chest I’ll survive, and even though my eyes are filled with tears and I can no longer take my breath I’ll be fine, Regardless that everything seems blurry and my vision’s no longer clear….it will help me move on.

The sky was my only friend and rain….rain was how it showed me her love.

I cared for you; alot; I know I did.

You felt like happiness, only it wasn’t mine. I looked at you with so much admiration, so much passion. You looked at me with recognition like I was me…I was familiar to you. But I was still just me and that hurt a lot.

It really did.

I used to think we were good together, You told me I was your sunshine…Your light house in the darkness. I remember one day when you looked at me really hard, your gaze was different…it was stern yet soft, it was full of words but so empty when you try to read them.

You spoke, your voice just above a whisper…"Guide me home", you said.

"Guide me home". 

But you see, I've given you way too much, I tried the best I could to get you out of this darkness. You called me your home but you never asked me once if this was what I really wanted, you were too busy looking after yourself.

At that point, I was alreadly losing parts of me, I thought maybe this friendship could turn into something more, I thought maybe If I actually gave it a chance this could work.

If you asked me to give you anything at that moment then I would have done it without a second thought. I would have given happy parts of me, anthing that ain't broken glass and burnt ashes.

I wasn’t complete, I know and I wasn’t proud of it…But right then, I was going to give you whatever I had left in me and I wouldn’t even ask you to give it back, I just wanted you to be okay….I wanted you better.

Right now, I recall all those red flags I ignored, I recall how people warned me of the consequences of what I am doing, I chose you over them...I hate that I did.

If I could take it all back, I would.

I would've never replied to your text message....I'd have never been this open with you.

But life....life knows no rewinds my friend and I hate you both for what I feel right now.

 

Till next letter.

 

 

 

Two

 

 

 

 

Letter two

To you,

Someone asked me today if I believed in fairy tales, I said No… You made me doubt my beliefs.

It’s so unfair, you know. The way you affect me, the way you play with my emotions…you do it and you have no right to do so.

You did it with so much ease. It scared me, tore me apart…I was ice; people said I was too cold.

But here you are, and here I am, on this horrible roller coaster of emotions with you.

I was the girl with the messy heart, you were the bestfriend.

Out of the two of us, I was the more silent, the unapprochable, but you? Everybody loved you."Different"….you were different, the way you held yourself together, the way you were always smiles and sunshines, you were there when someone needed you, you had everyone’s backs.

People loved you, you were the kind of person people liked instantly, maybe it was because you were too good, or maybe it was your aura.

I know this, because sadly…I was just one of those people.

I was too naive, or perhaps I saw you all along but refused to achnowledge that you were nothing like what you seemed to be.

Funny part was, you never knew how much people loved you. You never knew how much you meant for others.

You came ranting, you were always ranting; you know.

You'd tell me about those people who hate you.... you'd tell me how your family raised you harshly... you would complain about the future and you had no hope in anything at all... You wanted me to fix you, but you ruined me instead.

When this all started, I thought we were both broken from the inside, we were broken hard and strong. I wondered if that’s why we were close to each other, maybe we were both just trying to survive.

After sometime I figured that we couldn’t do it together, that someone had to let go so the other can continue. I cared too much for you then, I could have stayed broken if it meant you would survive.

 

You didn’t though, you wanted the survival….you let me go.

I don’t blame you, I really don’t. You were smarter…you did what’s right. I was just foolish enough to think you'd care the same way I did, my fault, my mistake…I had to suffer the consequences…and I know that this means nothing to you, but I never thought I would suffer this hard, I never knew it would hurt this much.

 

You made me feel small, you made me compare myself to others. Everyone knew what I was worth but you.... you belittled every freaking achievement I reached just because you could't have it, you mimiced everything I did, asked all those questions about me...just because I shined bright and you wanted that...you stole my light and darkened my days.

 

This means nothing to you, but my heart is breaking….my soul is aching and my body always seems as if it’s on fire. I am burning, I can see the flames….sometimes I fear people can see them too…. I don’t want  people figuring out how you broke me; I don’t want people seeing how much I ached because of you.

It’s a shame, because you meant alot to me and I was like the rest to you.

 

I feel weak, I hate it.

You used me to heal yourself, you used me to get closer to her...this whole friendship was a lie.

A sad sad story.

I wanted nothing than a safe place…you wanted nothing to do with me.

I told you I believed in fairy tales and I didn’t lie. I really do believe in them. I mean look at me, why else would I have given you a chance, look at us. I thought you could be my fairy tale.

But perhaps not all fairy tales are happy ever after ones, some are tragedies and we my dear, were one.

You were a tragedy, in every sense and in every way.

 

Till my next letter,

 

 

Three

 

 

 Letter Three,

To you:

 

Today is hard.

My sobs are uglier than usual.

I am carrying myself with every strength I have left within me and it's still not enough.

No one knows what happened between us both, everyone will makeup his own version of our story.

I hate that a story of ours exists.

I despise you.

But I will tell the story exactly how it shall be narrated, it's short, very short....one and a half year of lies and empty promises.

You decided you wanted to be close to her, so you befriended me.

You didn't know that I'd turn to be more though right? I know, I too, surprise myself.

 So you decided I was the bestfriend, the shoulder you'd cry on, the smart girl who's gonna make the world better and the ray of sunshine in that shithole you lived in. You knew everything about me, you bombared me with gifts, you'd spend days and nights texting me just to earn my trust.

Or perhaps just to be close to her.

Everything was a lie.

You weren't who I thought you were...you acted as if you liked me but you didn't. Or wait, you did...but you liked how she looks more..pathetic, miserable. I look at you and cry for all this time you stole from me.. my days, my hours, my laughs, I put you over my friends, my family.... I thought maybe you loved me enough to make me fight in this miserbale world.

Why, why did I have to meet you and get my heart broken?

I feel betrayed, I feel foolish... People fear me, they think am too much and they believe my heart died a long time ago...meanwhile you tricked me, and now my heart is dying, all because of you.

All those walks, all those open talks, all the time you insisted to wait for me till my lectures end.... all the days you'd appear out of the blue to become close to me.

Lies, freakin lies.

You wanted her and not me... I hate you.

 I can't talk, I can't function, I am doing horribly in my studies and I spend the day crying...why?

Not because I fell in love with you, I no longer know what love means....but because I feel daggers in my heart, I thought you were the only real person among all those fake ones.

 

I won't fall though.... I will keep going.

Till my next letter.