South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) - Norman Douglas (ebook e reader .TXT) 📗

To Its Origin.

It Was Artillery,  Beyond A Doubt.

 

The Old Sailor Had Grown Preternaturally Grave.

 

"Il Cannone Del Duca," He Said.

 

The Cannon Of The Good Duke Alfred,  Never Used Save On Urgent Or Solemn

Occasions,  Was Being Discharged.

 

Then The Boatman Made Another Remark,  In Italian,  To Keith.

 

"What Does He Say?" Asked Mr. Heard.

 

"He Thinks They Must Be Calling Out The Militia."

 

Something Was Very Wrong,  Up Yonder,  On The Market-Place.

 

 

Chapter 19

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cannon,  To Be Hereinafter Described,  Is Not The Sole Surviving

Relic Of The Good Duke's Rule. Turn Where You Please On This Island

Domain,  Memories Of That Charming And Incisive Personality Will Meet

Your Eye And Ear; Memories In Stone-Schools,  Convents,  Decayed Castles

And Bathing Chalets; Memories In The Spoken Word--Proverbs Attributed To

Him,  Legends And Traditions Of His Sagacity That Still Linger Among The

Populace. In The Days Of The Duke: So Runs A Local Saying,  Much As We

Speak Of The "Good Old Times." His Amiable Laughter-Loving Ghost

Pervades The Capital To This Hour. His Pleasantries Still Resound Among

Those Crumbling Theatres And Galleries. That Gleeful Deviltry Of His,

Compounded Of Blood And Sunshine,  Is The Epitome Of Nepenthe. He Is The

Scarlet Thread Running Through Its Annals. An Incarnation Of All That

Was Best In The Age He Identified,  For Wellnigh Half A Century,  His

Interests With Those Of His Faithful Subjects.

 

He Meditated No Conquests. It Sufficed Him To Gain And To Retain The

Affection Of Men In Whose Eyes He Was Not So Much A Prince,  A Feudal

Lord,  As An Indulgent And Doting Father. He Was The Ideal Despot,  A Man

Of Wide Culture And Simple Tastes. "A Smile," He Used To Say,  "Will

Sway The Universe." Simplicity He Declared To Be The Keynote Of His

Nature,  The Guiding Motive Of His Governance. In Exemplification

Whereof He Would Point To His Method Of Collecting Taxes--A Marvel Of

Simplicity. Each Citizen Paid What He Liked. If The Sum Proved

Insufficient He Was Apprised Of The Fact Next Morning By Having His

Left Hand Amputated; A Second Error Of Judgment--It Happened Rather

Seldom--Was Rectified By The Mutilation Of The Remaining Member. "Never

Argue With Inferiors," Was One Of His Highness's Most Original And

Pregnant Remarks,  And It Was Observed That,  Whether He Condescended To

Argue Or Not,  He Generally Gained His Point Without Undue Loss Of Time.

 

"It's So Simple," He Would Say To Those Perplexed Potentates Who

Flocked To Him From The Mainland For Advice On Administrative

Questions. "So Simple! One Knock To Each Nair. And Keep Smiling."

 

It Was The Good Duke Alfred Who,  With A Shrewd Eye To The Future

Prosperity Of His Dominions,  Made The First Practical Experiments With

Those Hot Mineral Springs--Those Healing Waters Whose Virtues,  Up Till

Then,  Had Been Unaccountable Neglected. Realizing Their Curative

Possibilities,  He Selected Fifty Of The Oldest And Wisest Of His Privy

Councillors To Undergo A Variety Of Hydro-Thermal Tests On Their

Bodies,  Internal And External. Seven Of These Gentlemen Had The Good

Luck To Survive The Treatment. They Received The Order Of The Golden

Vine,  A Coveted Distinction. The Remaining Forty-Three,  What Was Left

Of Them,  Were Cremated At Night-Time And Posthumously Ennobled.

 

He Was The Author Of Some Mighty Fine Dissertations On Falconry,

Dancing And Architecture. He Wrote Furthermore,  In The Flamboyant Style

Of His Period,  Two Dozen Pastoral Plays,  As Well As A Goodly Number Of

Verses Addressed,  For The Most Part,  To Ladies Of His Court--A Court

Which Was Thronged With Poets,  Wits,  Philosophers And Noble Women. The

Island Was A Gay Place In Those Days! There Was Always Something Doing.

His Highness Had A Trick Of Casting Favourites Into Dungeons,  And

Concubines Into The Sea,  That Endeared Him To His Various Legitimate

Spouses; And The Rapidity With Which These Self-Same Spouses Were

Beheaded One After The Other,  To Make Room For What He Mirthfully

Called "Fresh Blood," Struck His Faithful Subjects As An Ever-Recurring

Miracle Of Statecraft. "Nothing," He Used To Say To His Intimates,

"Nothing Ages A Man Like Living Always With The Same Woman." Well

Aware,  On The Other Hand,  Of The Inequality Of Social Conditions And

Keenly Desirous Of Raising The Moral Tone Of His People,  He Framed Iron

Laws To Restrain Those Irregularities Of Married Life Which Had Been A

Disreputable Feature Of Local Society Prior To His Accession.

 

Not In Vain Had He Pondered In Youth The Political Maxims Of The Great

Florentine. He Cultivated Assiduously The Friendship Of Church And Mob;

He Knew That No Throne,  However Seemingly Well-Established,  Can Weather

The Blasts Of Fortune Save By Resting On Those Twin Pillars Of

Security. So It Came About That,  While All Europe Was Convulsed In

Savage Warfare,  His Relations With Other Rulers Were Marked By Rare

Cordiality And Simplicity Of Intercourse. He Never Failed To Conciliate

His More Powerful Neighbours By Timely Gifts Of Local Delicacies--Gifts

Of Dark-Eyed Virgins To Grace Their Palaces,  And Frequent Hampers Of

Those Succulent Langoustes For Which The Coastal Waters Of The Island

Are Renowned,  Both Items Of The Finest Quality Obtainable. A Born

Statesman,  He Extended This Ingratiating Demeanour Even To Those Minor

Sovereigns From Whom,  To All Appearance,  She Had Nothing To Fear,

Supplying Them Likewise With Periodical Consignments Of Pretty Maidens

And Well-Flavoured Crayfish,  Only Of Somewhat Inferior Quality--The

Crustaceans Often Too Young,  The Damsels Occasionally Over-Ripe.

 

His High Aspirations Made Him The Precursor Of Many Modern Ideas. In

Educational And Military Matters,  More Especially,  He Ranks As A

Pioneer. He Was A Pedagogue By Natural Instinct. He Took A Sincere

Delight In The School-Children,  Limited Their Weekly Half-Holidays To

Five,  Designed Becoming Dresses For Boys And Girls,  Decreed That Lute

Playing And Deportment Should Become Obligatory Subjects In The

Curriculum,  And Otherwise Reformed The Scholastic Calendar Which,

Before His Day,  Had Drifted Into Sad Confusion And Laxity. Sometimes He

Honoured The Ceremony Of Prize-Giving With His Presence. On The Other

Hand It Must Be Admitted That,  Judged By Modern Standards,  Certain Of

His Methods For Punishing Disobedience Smacks Of Downright Pedantry.

Thrice A Year,  On Receiving Form The Ministry Of Education A List

Containing The Names Of Unsatisfactory Scholars Of Either Sex,  It Was

His Custom To Hoist A Flag On A Certain Hill-Top; This Was A Signal For

The Barbary Pirates,  Who Then Infested The Neighbouring Ocean,  To Set

Sail For The Island And Buy Up These Perverse Children,  At Purely

Nominal Rates,  For The Slave-Markets Of Stamboul And Argier. They Were

Sold Ignominiously--By Weight And Not By The Piece--To Mark His

Unqualified Disapproval Of Talking And Scribbling On Blotting-Pads

During School Hours.

 

It Is Recorded Of The Good Duke That On One Occasion He Returned From

This Scene Looking Haggard And Careworn,  As Though The Sacrifice Of So

Many Young Lives Weighed On His Fatherly Spirit. Presently,  Envisaging

His Duties Towards The State,  He Restrained These Natural But Unworthy

Emotions,  Smiled His Well-Known Smile,  And Gave Utterance To An

Apophthegm Which Had Since Found Its Way Into A Good Many Copy-Books:

"In The Purity Of Childhood," He Said,  "Lie The Seeds Of National

Prosperity." And If It Be Enquired By What Arts Of Machiavellian

Astuteness He Alone,  Of All Christian Princes,  Contrived To Maintain

Friendly Relations With These Formidable Oriental Sea-Rovers,  The

Answer Lies At Hand. His Device Was One Of Extreme Simplicity. He

Appealed To Their Better Natures By Sending Them,  At Convenient

Intervals,  Shiploads Of Local Delicacies,  Girls And Lobsters--Of

Indifferent Quality,  It Is True,  But Sufficiently Appetizing To Attest

His Honourable Intentions.

 

His Predecessors,  Intent Only Upon Their Pleasures,  Had Given No

Thought To The Possibility Of A Hostile Invasion Of Their Fair Domain.

But The Good Duke,  Despite His Popularity,  Was Frequently Heard To

Quote With Approval That Wise Old Adage Which Runs "In Peace,  Prepare

For War." Convinced Of The Instability Of All Mundane Affairs And

Being,  Moreover,  A Man Of Original Notions As Well As Something Of An

Artist In Costumery,  He Was Led To Create That Picturesque Body Of Men,

The Local Militia,  Which Survives To This Day And Would Alone Entitle

Him To The Grateful Notice Of Posterity. These Elegant Warriors,  He

Calculated,  Would Serve Both For The Purpose Of Infusing Terror Into

The Minds Of Potential Enemies,  And Of Acting As A Decorative

Body-Guard To Enhance His Own Public Appearances On Gala Days. He Threw

His Whole Soul Into The Enterprise. After The Corps Had Been Duly

Established,  He Amused Himself By Drilling Them On Sunday Afternoons

And Modelling New Buttons For Their Uniforms; To Give Them The

Requisite Military Stamina He Over-Fed And Starved Them By Turns,

Wrapped Them In Sheepskin Overcoats For Long Route-Marches In July,

Exercised Them In Sham Fights With Live Grapeshot And Unblunted

Stilettos And Otherwise Thinned Their Ranks Of Undesirables,  And

Hardened Their Physique,  By Forcing Them To Escalade Horrible

Precipices At Midnight On Horseback. He Was A Martinet; He Knew It; He

Gloried On The Distinction. "All The World Loves A Disciplinarian," He

Was Wont To Say.

 

Nevertheless,  Like Many Great Princes,  He Realized That Political

Reasons Might Counsel At Times An Abatement Of Rigour. He Could Relent

And Show Mercy. He Could Interpose His Authority In Favour Of The

Condemned.

 

He Relented On One Celebrated Occasion Which More Than Any Other Helped

To Gain For Him The Epithet Of "The Good"--When An Entire Squadron Of

The Militia Was Condemned To Death For Some Supposed Mistake In Giving

The Salute. The Record,  Unfortunately,  Is Somewhat Involved In

Obscurity And Hard To Disentangle; So Much Is Clear,  However,  That The

Sentence Was Duly Promulgated And Carried Into Effect Within Half An

Hour. Then Comes The Moot Question Of The Officer In Command Who Was

Obviously Destined For Execution With The Rest Of His Men And Who Now

Profited,  As Events Proved,  By The Clemency Of The Good Duke. It

Appears That This Individual,  Noted For A Childlike Horror Of Bloodshed

(Especially When Practiced On His Own Person),  Had Unaccountably

Absented Himself From The Ceremony At The Last Moment--Slipping Out Of

The Ranks In Order,  As He Said,  To Bid A Last Farewell To His Two Aged

And Widowed Parents. He Was Discovered In A Wine-Shop And Brought

Before A Hastily Summoned Court-Martial. There His Old Military Courage

Seems To Have Returned To Him. He Demonstrated By A Reference To The

Instructions Laid Down In The Militiaman's Year-Book That No Mistake In

Saluting Had Been Made,  That His Men Had Therefore Been Wrongfully

Convicted And Illegally Executed And That He A Fortiori,  Was Innocent

Of Any Felonious Intent. The Court,  While Approving His Arguments,

Condemned Him None The Less To The Indignity Of A Double Decapitation

For The Offence Of Leaving His Post Without A Signed Permit From His

Highness.

 

It Was At This Point That The Good Duke Interposed On His Behalf. He

Rescinded The Decree; In Other Words,  He Relented. "Enough Of Bloodshed

For One Day," He Was Heard To Remark,  Quite Simply.

 

This Speech Was One Of His Happiest Inspirations. Instantly It Echoed

From Mouth To Mouth; From End To End Of His Dominions. Enough Of

Bloodshed For One Day! That Showed His True Heart,  The People Declared.

Enough Of Bloodshed! Their Enthusiasm Grew Wilder When,  In An Access Of

Princely Graciousness,  He Repaired The Lamentable Excess Of Zeal By

Pinning The Order Of The Golden Vine To The Offending Officer's Breast;

It Rose To A Veritable Frenzy As Soon As They Learned That,  By Letters

Patent,  The Entire Defunct Squadron Had Been Posthumously Ennobled. And

This Is Only One Of Many Occasions On Which This Ruler,  By His Intimate

Knowledge Of Human Nature And The Arts Of Government,  Was Enabled To

Wrest Good From Evil,  And Thereby Consolidate His Throne. . . .

 

It Is Passing Strange,  On The Face Of It,  That This Vivid Personality,

One Of The Most Arresting Figures In The History Of The Country,  Should

Be So Briefly Dealt With In The Pages Of Monsignor Perrelli. Doubly

Strange,  And A Serious Disappointment To The Reader,  In View Of The

Fact That The Two Men Were Contemporaries,  And That The Learned Writer

Must Have Enjoyed Exceptional Facilities For Obtaining First-Hand

Knowledge Of His Subject. Almost Inexplicable Indeed,  When One

Remembers Those Maxims Which He Himself,  In The Introduction To His

Antiquities,  Lays Down For The Writing Of History; When One Calls