Much Ado About Nothing - William Shakespeare (ebook reader web .txt) 📗

Much Ado About Nothing

By William Shakespeare.

Table of Contents Titlepage Imprint Dramatis Personae Much Ado About Nothing Act I Scene I Scene II Scene III Act II Scene I Scene II Scene III Act III Scene I Scene II Scene III Scene IV Scene V Act IV Scene I Scene II Act V Scene I Scene II Scene III Scene IV Colophon Uncopyright Imprint

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Dramatis Personae

Don Pedro, Prince of Arragon

Don John, his bastard brother

Claudio, a young lord of Florence

Benedick, a young lord of Padua

Leonato, governor of Messina

Antonio, his brother

Balthasar, attendant to Don Pedro

Conrade, follower of Don John

Borachio, follower of Don John

Friar Francis

Dogberry, a constable

Verges, a headborough

A sexton

A boy

Hero, daughter to Leonato

Beatrice, niece to Leonato

Margaret, gentlewoman attending on Hero

Ursula, gentlewoman attending on Hero

Messengers, watch, attendants, etc.

Scene: Messina

Much Ado About Nothing Act I Scene I

Before Leonato’s House.

Enter Leonato, Hero, and Beatrice, with a Messenger. Leonato I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina. Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. Leonato How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name. Leonato A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio. Messenger Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. Leonato He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. Messenger I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. Leonato Did he break out into tears? Messenger In great measure. Leonato A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping! Beatrice I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no? Messenger I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort. Leonato What is he that you ask for, niece? Hero My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. Messenger O, he’s returned; and as pleasant as ever he was. Beatrice He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle’s fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. Leonato Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Messenger He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. Beatrice You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach. Messenger And a good soldier too, lady. Beatrice And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord? Messenger A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues. Beatrice It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing⁠—well, we are all mortal. Leonato You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them. Beatrice Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Messenger Is’t possible? Beatrice Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Messenger I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. Beatrice No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil? Messenger He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. Beatrice O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost