Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii by Goldberg, Lee (best large ebook reader .txt) 📗

Acclaim for Lee Goldberg’s previous mysteries

“A nifty creative take on the tradition of great amateur sleuths with a cast of quirky characters.”

—Stuart M. Kaminsky

“A clever, high-octane whodunit that moves like a bullet train.”

—Janet Evanovich

“Well plotted and beautifully rendered.”

—Margaret Maron, Edgar, Agatha, and Macavity

Award–winning author of the Deborah Knott mysteries

“Elegant writing, wry humor, a suspenseful premise, [and] a fast-paced plot.”

—Aimee and David Thurlo, authors of the Ella Clah,

Sister Agatha, and Lee Nez mystery series

“A clever, twisting tale.”

—Lisa Gardner

“A riveting mystery…wonderful stuff!”

—Paul Bishop, two-time LAPD Detective of the Year

and head of the West Los Angeles Sex Crimes

and Major Assault Crimes Units,

and author of Twice Dead, Chalk, and Whispers

“A swift saga with colorful homicides, glamorous locales, and clever puzzles.”

—Walter Wager, author of Telefon,

Twilight’s Last Gleaming, and 58 Minutes

“Intricate plots and engaging characters…page-turning entertainment.”

—Barbara Seranella

“A devilish plot sense, sophisticated humor, and a smooth writing style…he’s as good as anyone writing in the genre today.”

—Donald Bain, coauthor of the Murder, She Wrote series

“Just what the doctor ordered, a sure cure after a rash of blah mysteries…more plot twists than a strand of DNA.”

—Elaine Viets, author of Murder Unleashed

“Fast-paced, tightly constructed mysteries…. You’llread them in great big gulps!”

—Gregg Hurwitz

MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII

A Novel by

Lee Goldberg

Based on the television series created by

Andy Breckman

A SIGNET BOOK

SIGNET

Published by New American Library, a division of

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,

New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto,

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Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:

80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published by Signet, an imprint of New American Library,

a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Copyright © 2006 Universal Studios Licensing LLLP. Monk © USA Cable Entertainment LLC. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 1-4295-2245-3

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

       The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

To Valerie and Madison,

who take very good care of me.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

1  Mr. Monk and the Perfect Murder

2  Mr. Monk Gets the News

3  Mr. Monk and the Pill

4  Mr. Monk Arrives

5  Mr. Monk and the Medium

6  Mr. Monk Speaks Up

7  Mr. Monk and the Coconut

8  Mr. Monk and the Toblerones

9  Mr. Monk Gets a Message

10 Mr. Monk Rents a Car

11 Mr. Monk Goes to Dinner

12 Mr. Monk Shows How It’s Done

13 Mr. Monk Goes Golfing

14 Mr. Monk and the Towels

15 Mr. Monk and the Medium Meet Again

16 Mr. Monk and the Peanuts

17 Mr. Monk Takes a Walk

18 Mr. Monk Goes Sightseeing

19 Mr. Monk and the Pie

20 Mr. Monk Does a Favor

21 Mr. Monk Goes Sightseeing Again

22 Mr. Monk and Mr. Swift

23 Mr. Monk Goes to the Luau

24 Mr. Monk Mails a Letter

25 Mr. Monk Finds a Stain

26 Mr. Monk Goes Home

27 Mr. Monk Talks to the Dead

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank Cynthia Chow of the Kaneohe Public Library for her help on all things Hawaiian, but any mistakes are entirely my fault (particularly my attempts at pidgin). I am also indebted to Dr. D. P. Lyle, Wayne Aronsohn, Steve Wurzel, William Rabkin, Tod Goldberg, Kathleen Kay, Anne Tomlin, Christine King, and A. Lyn Bell for their assistance. And, finally, this book would not have been possible without the inspiration and enthusiasm of my friend Andy Breckman, the creator of Adrian Monk.

Mr. Monk and the Perfect Murder

Here’s the thing about brilliant detectives. They’re all nuts.

Take Nero Wolfe, for instance.

He was this incredibly fat detective who wouldn’t leave his New York brownstone. He stayed inside the house tending his orchids, drinking five quarts of beer a day, and devouring gourmet meals prepared by his live-in chef. So he hired Archie Goodwin to screen clients, run investigative errands, chase down clues, and drag people back to the brownstone to be rudely interrogated. Archie was an ex-cop or an ex-soldier or something like that, so he was well suited for the job.

Then there’s Sherlock Holmes, an eccentric, wound-up cocaine addict who played his violin all night and conducted chemical experiments in his living room. He probably would have been committed if it weren’t for Dr. Watson. The doctor retired from the army with a war injury, rented a room from Holmes, and ended up being the detective’s assistant and official chronicler. His medical degree and experience serving in the war gave Watson the skills and temperament he needed to deal with Holmes.

At least I didn’t live with Adrian Monk, another brilliant detective, the way Archie and Dr. Watson did with their employers, but I’d still argue that the job was a lot harder for me than it was for them. For one thing, I didn’t have any of their qualifications.

My name is Natalie Teeger. I’ve