Scarlett's Will by Nicole Jardine (i like reading .txt) 📗

wasn’t sure who to ask for it. Thankfully Sam lights up as we walk to the park. It isn't the same as Buddy's or Dave's but I assume it will have to do. We meet up with a big group of our friends, laying out in the sun. I don’t know if it was an actual decision that I made that day, but from then on, getting high or drunk was how I planned on dealing with my father and with losing Buddy.

 

CHAPTER FOUR

I managed to get the last of my credits for the year at school even though there were a number of days that I entered the front door and just walked through it, leaving out the back with whatever drugs I managed to procure on my way through. There was always someone at the arcade or the park doing the same thing. I dyed my brown hair blond and pinned a bunch of large safety pins to my plaid uniform. I eventually stopped sleeping in Buddy’s tee shirt when it no longer smelled of him. I even stopped crying myself to sleep at night.

My summer became a blur as I sunk deeper into my depression, drowning it in alcohol and weed. I spent most nights crashing at different friend's houses. Their parents didn’t seem to mind. I didn’t eat much and if I brought them a joint or two all the better. I tried to go home in mid August. I had planned on going back to school, but as I unlocked the front door and walked in my father greeted me with a string of slurred profanities. I didn’t see my mother anywhere. She must be out or in hiding. I turned to leave but he grabbed my hair and swung me around.

”I guess the demons are winning today,” I said.

“Where have you been Scarlett Rayne? Are you doing drugs? Did you come here to steal from me? Oh and if you ever go to the states again I will have you followed and your pretty boyfriend will be arrested. I can guarantee you that Scarlett. The police gave the border guards your picture, you're not allowed to leave the country now,” he ranted. I just stood there, not sure how I was going to get away from him.

“I’ll just go,” I whispered. I raced for the door again but he caught me. He gripped my elbow as he swung me around. Before I knew what was happening his fist landed on my nose. I screamed in shock and pain. He didn’t stop, three more punches landed on my head and one more in my stomach. I fell to the ground, crying and bleeding. When I looked up at him I thought I saw shock, as though maybe he hadn’t realized what he had just done to me. He began to back away from me as I somehow managed to stand. I glared at him as I wiped the blood from my nose. I felt wild, strong but hurt, wanting to attack him. A tingling sensation ran through me. It must be adrenalin.

“She should never have met him. It's all wrong now. He can't choose her, I forbid it,” my father sneered. He seemed to be talking to himself more than to me. I thought I saw a shadow move around him. I blinked my eyes, wiping them again.

“Nice seeing you Daddy,” I said through my tears as I opened the front door. Slamming it shut, I ran down the street. Bleeding and crying, I raced into the arcade bathroom and washed my face. Louise, the manager at the arcade must have seen me run in. She held a first aid kit out to me when I noticed her standing beside me.

“Scarlett right? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it, child?” she asked in a sweet motherly voice. I just shook my head.

“Let me help clean you up. Are you sure nothing's broken?” she asked as she gently touched my nose. She applied antiseptic to my cuts then bought me supper. I was grateful for her help.

Needless to say I didn’t return to school in September. When I considered what my father had said, that I could never return to Buddy without the police following me, nothing seemed to matter anymore. I knew my father would follow through on his threat just to spite me if I went missing, although as time passed I began to wonder if he would even know if I left or not. I just wasn't sure about the border guard having my photo. I wondered if they would detain me and call the police. Knowing what Buddy does for a living, I could never bring the police to his door.

It took sometime for me to allow another guy to touch me again, but my depression mixed with the alcohol and drugs seemed to make me a little less emotional. An odd apathy towards my body took over. When the nights began to get colder I realized I needed someone to take me in. I wasn’t allowed home if I wasn’t in school my mother told me when I called her. I tried to tell her what happened when I went home in August but she didn’t want to listen to me. She didn’t want to believe me. She left a backpack with some of my clothes on the porch for me. I asked her to grab my journal, I needed it. Thankfully she had put it in my backpack. I didn’t care if she had read it.

After staying at a girlfriend's house for a while, I started seeing an older guy that had his own place. I remember feeling flattered by his tenacity. He wouldn’t give up on me. At parties, he would follow me around, giving me drinks and lighting smokes for me. Late one night I was zoned out,