Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men by Wonderly, Morgan (best e ink reader for manga .txt) 📗

have and the more they’re distracted from pursuing their goals. Having more stuff means having more to manage and worry about. Men prefer to streamline their lives without being ensnared. This simplicity is one of the reasons the advertising industry doesn’t target men to the same extent it does women.

Understanding this aspect of men may help us decide to cut them some slack. Because men have fewer needs in general, they are better able and more willing to focus on what it is we need. And as long as we genuinely appreciate them, they love to meet our needs.

Here are some ways men are simpler than women:

They own fewer clothes and shoes.

They need fewer gifts.

They speak fewer words.

They have fewer hairstyle choices.

They live in minimal Zen-like surroundings.

Three colors dominate their wardrobe: black, brown, and blue.

They don’t require much to be happy: admiration plus affection plus food.

Men’s Brains Are Compartmentalized

Men’s brains have separate compartments for work, relationships, sex, sports, and relaxation. When a man is at the office, he focuses on his work. When he is watching sports, he is focused on the game. When he is having sex, he is focused on the woman. Because men focus on one area of their lives at a time, they are exceptionally adept at blocking out everything but the task at hand. Even when they tie their shoes, they can forget about their wife, their kids, and their job!

This ability to intensely concentrate and focus on one thing at a time was built into the masculine psyche for survival purposes. For instance, when the caveman hunted for food, he could not afford distractions. He had to be laser-focused on the task at hand lest he be killed and eaten by the saber-toothed tiger.

The ability men have to live their lives in separate boxes is also advantageous in their work and business world. Their capacity to focus reinforces men’s dedication and commitment to their life’s work. When it comes to their careers, men generally have a great aptitude to concentrate for days, months, and even years without getting distracted or tired. This ability helps them specialize and become proficient in their field of choice. Residing in one compartment at a time also explains why men can better focus and succeed by keeping their career lives separate from their personal lives.

Men Are Sensitive

Many of us aren’t aware of how sensitive men are because they rarely express their feelings openly. Although a man may appear strong and unemotional on the outside, his heart is often more vulnerable than a woman’s. We might not see their tender side because it’s often obscured beneath a cool or tough exterior.

Because a man often fears appearing weak and un-masculine, he can be adept at hiding his feelings. However, I’ve discovered that men are more sensitive than they admit. To avoid being hurt, a man often guards his heart by building a fortress around it. But it’s not that he doesn’t feel. Rather, it’s that he has learned to be highly careful to whom he opens his heart. Before a man will turn his heart over to a woman, he needs to feel he can fully trust her by knowing she genuinely cares about him and would never use what he shares with her against him. A man protects his heart like a woman protects her body.

Men Love More Deeply Than We Do

A man is often reluctant or slow to commit because he needs to be sure he’s committing to the right woman before he gives his heart away. Once he does, his love is loyal, deep, and bonding.

We women have become far more selective than men when we seek a mate. It’s not uncommon for us to make detailed lists—even spreadsheets—to evaluate men. Does he make enough money? Is he spiritual? Does he want children? Does he like to travel? Will my family approve of him?

Men don’t scrutinize us in the same way. When it comes to love, they don’t make lists. They don’t make spreadsheets. Men simply fall in love in an organic way. When a man commits his heart completely, it can take him much longer to heal after a breakup than it does a woman.

We females may be more empathetic, more connecting, and more nurturing than men, but when men are truly in love, they love more deeply than we do. For them, love trumps everything.

Men Are Internal

Men are more inwardly focused than women, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking or don’t have opinions. Unlike us, men don’t talk out their problems. They’d rather think them out in silence. We may assume they are unaware, oblivious, or even ignorant because they don’t say much, but this is far from the truth.

Because men are quieter, they tend to observe a lot more than women do. It’s as though thinking and contemplating are the male way of being. Men need private time to be alone with their thoughts. Because we don’t share this need to the same degree, this is sometimes hard for us to understand. Time away from others is essential to a man’s well-being. He spends time alone to solve problems, recharge, and refocus so that he can emerge and conquer the world again.

This trait of going inward and zoning out can make men more absentminded than women. As a consequence, they may occasionally forget important dates such as our birthdays or Valentine’s Day! But they don’t forget on purpose, and it’s not a sign they don’t love us—quite the contrary. They may be mentally working on solving issues that affect the family or relationship.

Men tend to be self-sufficient and keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Even talkative, gregarious men are private about their feelings and emotions. They may talk about superficial or material topics in sports or business, but unless they feel safe with us—which is far more difficult than we realize—they will rarely discuss how they feel.

Women tend to be the more social gender. It’s not uncommon for us to go