Much Ado About Nothing - William Shakespeare (ebook reader web .txt) 📗

an ill word may empoison liking. Ursula

O, do not do your cousin such a wrong.
She cannot be so much without true judgment⁠—
Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is prized to have⁠—as to refuse
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.

Hero

He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio.

Ursula

I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,
For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,
Goes foremost in report through Italy.

Hero Indeed, he hath an excellent good name. Ursula

His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
When are you married, madam?

Hero

Why, every day, tomorrow. Come, go in:
I’ll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel
Which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.

Ursula

She’s limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.

Hero

If it prove so, then loving goes by haps:
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Exeunt Hero and Ursula.

Beatrice

Coming forward. What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn’d for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly. Exit.

Scene II

A room in Leonato’s house.

Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Leonato. Don Pedro I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon. Claudio I’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me. Don Pedro Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks. Benedick Gallants, I am not as I have been. Leonato So say I: methinks you are sadder. Claudio I hope he be in love. Don Pedro Hang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, he wants money. Benedick I have the toothache. Don Pedro Draw it. Benedick Hang it! Claudio You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. Don Pedro What! sigh for the toothache? Leonato Where is but a humour or a worm. Benedick Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it. Claudio Yet say I, he is in love. Don Pedro There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. Claudio If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat o’ mornings; what should that bode? Don Pedro Hath any man seen him at the barber’s? Claudio No, but the barber’s man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls. Leonato Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. Don Pedro Nay, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that? Claudio That’s as much as to say, the sweet youth’s in love. Don Pedro The greatest note of it is his melancholy. Claudio And when was he wont to wash his face? Don Pedro Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. Claudio Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops. Don Pedro Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, conclude he is in love. Claudio Nay, but I know who loves him. Don Pedro That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. Claudio Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him. Don Pedro She shall be buried with her face upwards. Benedick Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. Exeunt Benedick and Leonato. Don Pedro For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. Claudio ’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet. Enter Don John. Don John My lord and brother, God save you! Don Pedro Good den, brother. Don John If your leisure served, I would speak with you. Don Pedro In private? Don John If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of concerns him. Don Pedro What’s the matter? Don John To Claudio. Means your lordship to be married tomorrow? Don Pedro You know he does. Don John I know not that, when he knows what I know. Claudio If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it. Don John You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage;⁠—surely suit ill spent and labour ill bestowed. Don Pedro Why, what’s the matter? Don John I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, for she has been too long a talking of,