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just because I believed that the woman I loved was dead from alleged birthing complications.

Then everything quickly went downhill and my actions could’ve caused another missing person from B723.

I should regret almost taking out Mills more than I do. He was faithful and always has been to Emmy.

However, he saw everything we were enduring in our own simple and fucked up ways, and I didn’t think I’d make it another ten years without her.

It got that dark.

I even looked up a place to retire because killing random assholes and saving the country only reminded me of shit I didn’t want to ponder about every two seconds. The job that I began with the red-headed freak next to me was ruined because she died and then lied.

“I’m going to go…” Kyson trails off, causing me to glance over at him raking his hand through his hair, and looking completely beside himself.

“You didn’t see her yet.” Why should he give her the satisfaction of an out? “Actually…there’ll obviously be plenty of time for that.”

“She looks different?” He looks over at me, worry and sadness clouding his gold eyes.

“Yeah.” I nod. “She dyed her hair and cut it. She looks a little thinner, but she’s…still Emmy.”

“What are we gonna do?” He means Alexander because there would be no way I’d be doing this alone now. Not after Marty learned the truth and Kyson broke the drywall downstairs with his fist when he confirmed the story with me that he got from Lucien.

“Make it hurt.”

“Don’t keep her out of it,” he justifies. “This started with her.”

I scoff. “She needs to learn a lesson.”

“And you’ll be the lesson if you don’t let her be the one to give him his final breath. He tried to kill her and her children.” Just the imagination that I’ve created of how he did it and where she was, plays and fucks with my head since I found out. “It’s her revenge…you were collateral damage for sticking your nose in where it shouldn’t have been.”

“Something felt off like I said.” I lean more against the wall and stare at a painting that Emmy gave Ledger a few years back for some reason or another.

It’s the silhouette of a couple, close together and dancing in browns and reds. People stand in the background but the way the man and woman stare at each other, that’s the end game for them.

Each other.

“Because you love her,” Kyson lays out. “More than any of us.” His tone is light and unaccusing but it still makes me feel cornered and like a piece of shit myself.

So I lay all my cards on the table, so I’m not added to the list of fuck-ups with Emmy to the group.

“I better,” I vouch through my clamped jaw. “I’m married to her.”

I’m fully expecting Ky to stand in front of me, foaming from the mouth and looking like a ramped dog wanting to kill me for touching the precious Emmy Lou Rhodes. But the painting still remains in front of me, and silence shrouds the room.

“But not for long,” I add on to calm down whatever crazy emotions might be sprinting through his head. We don’t need both of us out of sorts and emotionally unstable.

“Why?” His simple, one-word question is more complicated than just that.

It makes no sense to want to divorce Emmy just when I have her back. When I found out about the so-called Mills father bit, I still wanted her.

But now that she’s someone I can scream and hate for making me go through all those uncomfortable things, I don’t want anything to do with her.

All lies.

Everything was a fucking lie.

“There’s no reason to be married to her anymore,” I reply.

Kyson bristles but doesn’t press any further. “I’ll call you later. I need some fucking air.”

He takes off, and I wish I could go with him, but I can’t pry myself from the wall.

I’m not able to physically remove myself from a football field from Emmy when I know she’s going to go off and kill Alexander.

And try to do it before I do.

It’s not that she wants to perform the act, I don’t give a fuck about that but because Kyson is right, it started with her.

So I remain in my spot so that nothing else can happen to her. My nightmares warn me that I have a second chance and she’s still meddling in danger right now.

And not just her—her twins too.

Twins, twins…twins that aren’t mine. 

How would it feel for a mother to have to kill the father of her children? The betrayal that she laid at my feet hurts enough but the man who was supposed to be at her side to raise not just one but two children? Who turned on you and decided you didn’t deserve to walk the face of the Earth anymore.

I’m sorry. I missed you…so much.

She doesn’t know what her words did to me yesterday. How they upset me because I missed her too.

How I kept reliving all the things coursing through my head in the time she was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Now I can.

And I don’t know what to do with it.

I want her out of my life and I want to punish her for breaking my heart. I need to feel her against me and kiss every inch of her skin and claim her as mine.

She’s my wife.

She’s the woman I’ve wanted for years.

She’s the only thing that doesn’t make sense but everything I want.

This woman has a hold on me that is past the meaning of aggrieving but my love for her is so strong that it's willing to push past and deal with it.

The door to Ledger’s opens and out comes a defeated and teary-eyed Emmy Lou who looks like she just battled through a wall of words and straight bitching from our commander.

Her browns fall on me immediately within seconds of clearing the doorway and she wipes at her eyes with the back of

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