DECEIT (B723) - Hazel Grace (the reader ebook .txt) 📗

“Yeah—“ I release a shaky exhale. “—I don’t fucking care.”

His arm wraps around my middle then, and I’m straddling his wide lap in the next second. “You’re getting too impulsive for my liking,” he grounds out. “And we need to get your fucking hearing checked.”

“We’ll go together.”

His hand on the base of my spine pulls me forward so that my chest is pressed against his. “I would’ve helped.”

My brows knit because I know what he means, but that was the whole point of not asking him to help.

I’m aware that I wouldn’t have had to ask twice, and I’m tired of explaining the why’s and how’s of my previous plan.

Were they stupid, obviously, but I can’t change them now.

“Emmy…” I peer down at him, finding that his expression has softened a tad, but it does nothing because he can flick his crazy back on at any given moment.

“What?”

“You promised.” His tone is gentle and almost pained as he stares up at me with a defeated look.

I did promise.

I told him I’d take care of myself and the babies. That I’d be happy.

But how can you go to someone who broke your heart and expect them to help with other things? How could I trust that?

He’s never hurt you any other way before other than the one you wanted him to delve in—my heart. 

“I can’t take back what I did,” I emit. “I did it to protect my children and me. You never would’ve let me do it. Your ass would’ve been in the car and raced into God knows what at the time. You’ve seen what’s around him. Alexander is no dummy.”

“Maybe. But you have ways of calming me down.”

“You weren’t there.”

“Because you called Mills.”

“We weren’t talking anymore, and you were avoiding me. I didn’t—“

“I would’ve never of abandoned you, Emmy.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” My jaw twitches from the beginnings of a forming sob. “He was my best bet. The one that I wouldn’t have to argue with the longest. I was kinda bleeding to death and shit. I had kids to get out of me.”

“You didn’t give me a chance.”

“I gave you plenty of chances in my life,” I counter, steeling those words into my brain so I don’t feel so bad. “All I did was lay myself out there for you to trample on and you did. Maybe not intentionally, but I needed a guarantee, and Mills was it.”

“Are you going to hold that against me for the rest of my life?” His fingers splay against my back, and I’m not sure if he notices, but he’s brushing my spine in slow and gentle movements.

“Yes—maybe. I haven’t thought about it, I’ve been too busy. I didn’t want you getting hurt, and I had a lot on my plate. Trust me when I say…I don’t know how I would do it if it happened to me again.”

“Again?” he repeats. “As in, you getting pregnant again and the father trying to kill you?”

“Figure of speech, Bish, keep up.”

He snorts through his nose like a snob. “I wouldn’t say we’re even by a long shot, but the shit you just pulled are the things I’ve had to deal with. I can’t tell if you’re fucking insane or just plain evasive with someone telling you it’s a bad idea, don’t do it.”

“Maybe both.”

“Emmy, you’re different, always have been. Always will be. You’re better than all of us. Then you died and we all suffered. I almost killed Mills because—“

“I know,” I reply. “I handled that.”

His blues narrow on me. “You sent that guy after me?”

“Yep.”

“He shot Armageddon.”

My eyes expand. “What?”

“Grazed him but—“ I reach behind me to pull out my cell. Kai never fucking told me that he hit Bishop’s dog and he was with me for at least an hour. More than enough time to tell me.

“Who was the guy?” Bishop asks, capturing my forearm to keep me from my phone.

“Dude I met a few years ago on a mission.” He lifts a questioning brow. “If you ask me if I’ve slept with him, I’m gonna fuck you up.”

Bishop leans up off the back of the seat, his scent filling my senses, and I fight the urge to sigh like a smitten little girl.

His full lips hover over mine, provoking me to move and deny that I want him.

That it doesn’t matter what he does or says, I’m still his.

I still need him.

Because without Bishop, nothing feels whole. My body, even though we haven’t been together in months, still believes that it is.

“Undo my pants, Emmy,” Bishop orders out, prompting my body to listen right away but I hold on to the thread of pride that still struggles to remain still. “You fucked Alexander raw and denied me the chance for those twins to be mine.”

“I didn’t—since when do you want kids?”

A slow smirk rides up Bishop’s features, derailing that said pride from earlier, and the primal need to just let him do what he wants begins to take over.

“You can lie and say you don’t need me. That your life would be perfect without me in it. Truth of the matter is, Em, that it’s just as bad when you and I are not together. I might be a prick but I cared about you. And I also might not be the most vocal character in the world but notice how I always bitched at you for shit. Must mean something.”

I scoff through my nose. “Not enough.”

“Isn’t it?” Bishop's fingers find the front of my black leggings and tears the seam of my crotch. “I want to fuck you into listening to me. I need to forget what you did. What my wife—that I didn’t know I still had—decided she was going to do.” His palms find my hips and he pushes me downward so I can feel how hard he is through his cladded jeans. Memories of how he used to fill me up, fucked me into seeing stars still play vividly in my vision. “That you do