The Woodlanders - Thomas Hardy (best books to read for women .txt) 📗

very thing I am doing. I was going to ask you to burn⁠—or, at least, get rid of⁠—all my philosophical literature. It is in the bookcases in your rooms. The fact is, I never cared much for abstruse studies.”

“I am so glad to hear you say that. And those other books⁠—those piles of old plays⁠—what good are they to a medical man?”

“None whatever!” he replied, cheerfully. “Sell them at Sherton for what they will fetch.”

“And those dreadful old French romances, with their horrid spellings of ‘filz’ and ‘ung’ and ‘ilz’ and ‘mary’ and ‘ma foy?’ ”

“You haven’t been reading them, Grace?”

“Oh no⁠—I just looked into them, that was all.”

“Make a bonfire of ’em directly you get home. I meant to do it myself. I can’t think what possessed me ever to collect them. I have only a few professional handbooks now, and am quite a practical man. I am in hopes of having some good news to tell you soon, and then do you think you could⁠—come to me again?”

“I would rather you did not press me on that just now,” she replied, with some feeling. “You have said you mean to lead a new, useful, effectual life; but I should like to see you put it in practice for a little while before you address that query to me. Besides⁠—I could not live with you.”

“Why not?”

Grace was silent a few instants. “I go with Marty to Giles’s grave. We swore we would show him that devotion. And I mean to keep it up.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that at all. I have no right to expect anything else, and I will not wish you to keep away. I liked the man as well as any I ever knew. In short, I would accompany you a part of the way to the place, and smoke a cigar on the stile while I waited till you came back.”

“Then you haven’t given up smoking?”

“Well⁠—ahem⁠—no. I have thought of doing so, but⁠—”

His extreme complacence had rather disconcerted Grace, and the question about smoking had been to effect a diversion. Presently she said, firmly, and with a moisture in her eye that he could not see, as her mind returned to poor Giles’s “frustrate ghost,” “I don’t like you⁠—to speak lightly on that subject, if you did speak lightly. To be frank with you⁠—quite frank⁠—I think of him as my betrothed lover still. I cannot help it. So that it would be wrong for me to join you.”

Fitzpiers was now uneasy. “You say your betrothed lover still,” he rejoined. “When, then, were you betrothed to him, or engaged, as we common people say?”

“When you were away.”

“How could that be?”

Grace would have avoided this; but her natural candor led her on. “It was when I was under the impression that my marriage with you was about to be annulled, and that he could then marry me. So I encouraged him to love me.”

Fitzpiers winced visibly; and yet, upon the whole, she was right in telling it. Indeed, his perception that she was right in her absolute sincerity kept up his affectionate admiration for her under the pain of the rebuff. Time had been when the avowal that Grace had deliberately taken steps to replace him would have brought him no sorrow. But she so far dominated him now that he could not bear to hear her words, although the object of her high regard was no more.

“It is rough upon me⁠—that!” he said, bitterly. “Oh, Grace⁠—I did not know you⁠—tried to get rid of me! I suppose it is of no use, but I ask, cannot you hope to⁠—find a little love in your heart for me again?”

“If I could I would oblige you; but I fear I cannot!” she replied, with illogical ruefulness. “And I don’t see why you should mind my having had one lover besides yourself in my life, when you have had so many.”

“But I can tell you honestly that I love you better than all of them put together, and that’s what you will not tell me!”

“I am sorry; but I fear I cannot,” she said, sighing again.

“I wonder if you ever will?” He looked musingly into her indistinct face, as if he would read the future there. “Now have pity, and tell me: will you try?”

“To love you again?”

“Yes; if you can.”

“I don’t know how to reply,” she answered, her embarrassment proving her truth. “Will you promise to leave me quite free as to seeing you or not seeing you?”

“Certainly. Have I given any ground for you to doubt my first promise in that respect?”

She was obliged to admit that he had not.

“Then I think that you might get your heart out of that grave,” said he, with playful sadness. “It has been there a long time.”

She faintly shook her head, but said, “I’ll try to think of you more⁠—if I can.”

With this Fitzpiers was compelled to be satisfied, and he asked her when she would meet him again.

“As we arranged⁠—in a fortnight.”

“If it must be a fortnight it must!”

“This time at least. I’ll consider by the day I see you again if I can shorten the interval.”

“Well, be that as it may, I shall come at least twice a week to look at your window.”

“You must do as you like about that. Good night.”

“Say ‘husband.’ ”

She seemed almost inclined to give him the word; but exclaiming, “No, no; I cannot,” slipped through the garden-hedge and disappeared.

Fitzpiers did not exaggerate when he told her that he should haunt the precincts of the dwelling. But his persistence in this course did not result in his seeing her much oftener than at the fortnightly interval which she had herself marked out as proper. At these times, however, she punctually appeared, and as the spring wore on the meetings were kept up, though their character changed but little with the increase in their number.

The small garden of the cottage occupied by the Tangs family⁠—father, son, and now son’s wife⁠—aligned with the larger one of the