Truth or Lies? by A. Gomez (book club recommendations txt) 📗

him, feeling like I didn’t deserve his comfort or compassion. I was yelling at him to let me go. I wanted to run away. Run away from this pain, from this guilt that consumed me. I hated him for not bringing me here sooner. I hated him for not coming to rescue us sooner. I hated life and all its ugliness.

I tried to stand up and get out of his grip but he was too strong. I was about to throat-punch him when he grabbed my wrists, turned me around and held me tight against him. I was whipping my head from side to side and still sobbing hysterically, yelling at him. He just held me, waiting for me to calm down. I could hear his breathing become somewhat harsh. He must have been struggling to keep his grip on me.

“Isabel, you did what you needed to do to survive. I’m glad you did what you did, otherwise we wouldn’t be here together.” His hot breath was like a zing of electricity through me and a flood of memories of our first morning together came rushing back to me. “I’m sorry about Samson, baby.”

I stopped struggling against his grip. I was out of breath. He didn't let me go but he loosened his grip just a bit. I slumped down all the way to the floor on my knees and let my head hang. Josh slumped with me and turned me around so I could face him. He lifted my chin up with his finger so I could look at him as he still held both my hands in one of his. He was so beautiful. My thoughts were jumbled and my will was quickly beginning to crumble. I remembered how much I wanted this man… how much I still wanted this man. I wanted to kiss him. “Josh,” I breathed, “let me kiss you.”

He froze, eyeing me suspiciously, unsure of it all.

“Really, I promise.” I lifted myself up, kissing him hard, my teeth tugging at his lower lip.

He slowly let my right hand go. I quickly wrapped it around his neck, pulling myself up to him. He let my left hand go and lifted me up to a seated position on top of him. I was now straddling him. I held his face in my hands, my tongue in his mouth. He was gently sucking my tongue and biting my lower lip. I groaned, wanting more.

I pulled away to gaze at him. He looked intently into my eyes and I into his. His eyes looked worried. I must have given him a good scare just then. I kissed both his eyes.

“I love you, Joshua Rockwall,” I whispered.

He cupped my backside, pulling me closer to him. I could feel his erection between my legs. It was thick and large.

“Baby, you’re not wearing any panties,” he said, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“I didn’t have any clean ones and you didn’t have any in your dresser.”

He chuckled. “I’m going commando, too. I haven’t done laundry in six weeks. I was lucky if I got a shower in.” He squeezed my bare behind a few times and ran his hands up and down my waist. I closed my eyes, inhaling sharply, savoring his touch.

“Better?” he asked.

I nodded, kissing him gently on the lips.

“Come on, baby, let me take you to bed,” he said, kissing my neck.

I stopped him from getting up, pushing down on his shoulders. I gazed at his beautiful face, tracing his lips with my thumbs and running my hands through his beard. His hands were resting on my thighs. His expression was laced with concern. I slowly took my t-shirt off and dropped it on the floor. My breasts were swollen and my nipples were erect and hard.

“Isabel…” he gasped.

“Take me to bed, Josh, but not to sleep.”

“Baby, no, not like this.” He was squeezing my thighs. “You’re too upset. You’re not thinking straight.”

I took his hands and placed them on my swollen breasts. “Please, Josh,” I pleaded. “I need you. I want you. I want this.” I leaned in and tenderly began to kiss his neck and jaw. “Are you going to make me beg again?”

“No, baby, never,” he said, his breath jagged.

“Good,” I said, kissing his lips, parting them and only ever so slightly letting my tongue in his mouth just enough to touch the tip of his.

“Isabel, are you sure?” he asked as I was kissing the corners of his mouth. His eyes wide open, gazing at me.

“Yessss,” I breathed, biting his earlobe. He groaned, running his hands up the sides of my waist and then down to my hips. “I can’t say no to you. I don’t want to say no to you anymore.”

I could feel his smile on my cheek as I bit his other earlobe. He slipped two fingers inside me.

“Aahh,” I moaned, throwing my head back and arching my back.

“Baby, you are so wet.” He pulled his fingers out, grabbed both my breasts and tugged my nipples, sending fire through my veins.

He grabbed the back of my head and kissed me fervently. Next thing I knew, he was carrying me to his bed. He gently laid me down, only stopping his kiss long enough to move me up higher on the bed. My heart was racing. I was nervous. I didn’t know if it would hurt. I didn’t know if I would be any good at this. I didn’t know if he would be disappointed with me. I wanted to please him.

Josh quickly stripped out of his bottoms and climbed in between my legs. He began to trail kisses from my knee, going to the apex of my thigh and up to my navel, bypassing my groin.

“No,” I groaned, complaining. I ran my fingers though his long hair.

“Patience, baby. This is your first time and I intend