Hamlet - William Shakespeare (no david read aloud txt) 📗

Horatio. Horatio Here, sweet lord, at your service. Hamlet

Horatio, thou art e’en as just a man
As e’er my conversation coped withal.

Horatio O, my dear lord⁠— Hamlet

Nay, do not think I flatter;
For what advancement may I hope from thee
That no revenue hast but thy good spirits,
To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter’d?
No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear?
Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
And could of men distinguish, her election
Hath seal’d thee for herself; for thou hast been
As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing,
A man that fortune’s buffets and rewards
Hast ta’en with equal thanks: and blest are those
Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled,
That they are not a pipe for fortune’s finger
To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him
In my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As I do thee.⁠—Something too much of this.⁠—
There is a play to-night before the king;
One scene of it comes near the circumstance
Which I have told thee of my father’s death:
I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
Even with the very comment of thy soul
Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
It is a damned ghost that we have seen,
And my imaginations are as foul
As Vulcan’s stithy. Give him heedful note;
For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
And after we will both our judgments join
In censure of his seeming.

Horatio

Well, my lord:
If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing,
And ’scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

Hamlet

They are coming to the play; I must be idle:
Get you a place.

Danish march. A flourish. Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and others. King How fares our cousin Hamlet? Hamlet Excellent, i’ faith; of the chameleon’s dish: I eat the air, promise-crammed: you cannot feed capons so. King I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet; these words are not mine. Hamlet No, nor mine now. To Polonius. My lord, you played once i’ the university, you say? Polonius That did I, my lord; and was accounted a good actor. Hamlet What did you enact? Polonius I did enact Julius Caesar: I was killed i’ the Capitol; Brutus killed me. Hamlet It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there. Be the players ready? Rosencrantz Ay, my lord; they stay upon your patience. Queen Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me. Hamlet No, good mother, here’s metal more attractive. Polonius To the King. O, ho! do you mark that? Hamlet Lady, shall I lie in your lap? Lying down at Ophelia’s feet. Ophelia No, my lord. Hamlet I mean, my head upon your lap? Ophelia Ay, my lord. Hamlet Do you think I meant country matters? Ophelia I think nothing, my lord. Hamlet That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs. Ophelia What is, my lord? Hamlet Nothing. Ophelia You are merry, my lord. Hamlet Who, I? Ophelia Ay, my lord. Hamlet O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do but be merry? for, look you, how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died within these two hours. Ophelia Nay, ’tis twice two months, my lord. Hamlet So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens! die two months ago, and not forgotten yet? Then there’s hope a great man’s memory may outlive his life half a year: but, by’r lady, he must build churches, then; or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is “For, O, for, O, the hobby-horse is forgot.” Hautboys play. The dumb-show enters. Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queen embracing him, and he her. She kneels, and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck: lays him down upon a bank of flowers: she, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the King’s ears, and exit. The Queen returns; finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The Poisoner, with some two or three Mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The Poisoner wooes the Queen with gifts: she seems loath and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts his love. Exeunt. Ophelia What means this, my lord? Hamlet Marry, this is miching mallecho; it means mischief. Ophelia Belike this show imports the argument of the play. Enter Prologue. Hamlet We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot keep counsel; they’ll tell all. Ophelia Will he tell us what this show meant? Hamlet Ay, or any show that you’ll show him: be not you ashamed to show, he’ll not shame to tell you what it means. Ophelia You are naught, you are naught: I’ll mark the play. Prologue

For us, and for our tragedy,
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg your hearing patiently. Exit.

Hamlet Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring? Ophelia ’Tis brief, my lord. Hamlet As woman’s love. Enter two Players, King and Queen. Player King

Full thirty times hath Phoebus’ cart gone round
Neptune’s salt wash and Tellus’ orbed ground,
And thirty dozen moons with borrow’d sheen
About the world have times twelve thirties been
Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
Unite commutual in most sacred bands.

Player Queen

So many journeys may the sun and moon
Make us again count o’er ere love be done!
But, woe is me, you are so sick of late,
So far from cheer and from your former state,
That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must:
For women’s fear and love holds quantity;
In neither aught, or in extremity.
Now, what my love is, proof hath made you know;
And as my love is sized, my fear is so:
Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear;
Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

Player King

’Faith,