The Merry Wives of Windsor - William Shakespeare (best books to read ever .txt) 📗
- Author: William Shakespeare
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Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.
Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos’d of.
No, good Master Fenton.
Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.
Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter
In such a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
I must advance the colours of my love
And not retire: let me have your good will.
Alas! I had rather be set quick i’ the earth.
And bowl’d to death with turnips.
Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,
I will not be your friend, nor enemy;
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected.
Till then, farewell, sir: she must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.
I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight
Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.
A room in the Garter Inn
Enter Falstaff from his chamber. Falstaff Bardolph, I say— Enter Bardolph. Bardolph Here, sir. Falstaff Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in’t. Exit Bardolph. Sits. Have I lived to be carried in a basket, and to be thrown in the Thames like a barrow of butcher’s offal? Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my brains ta’en out and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year’s gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies, fifteen i’ the litter; and you may know by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell I should down. I had been drowned but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor, for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy. Re-enter Bardolph, with two cups of sack. Bardolph Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you. He sets cups down. Falstaff Takes one. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly’s as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. He drains the cup. Call her in. Bardolph Opening the door. Come in, woman. Enter Mistress Quickly. Mistress Quickly Curtsies. By your leave. I cry you mercy. Give your worship good morrow. Falstaff Empties the second cup. Take away these chalices. Go, brew me a pottle of sack finely. Bardolph Takes up the cups. With eggs, sir? Falstaff Simple of itself; I’ll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. Exit Bardolph. How now! Mistress Quickly Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford. Falstaff Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford. Mistress Quickly Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection. Falstaff So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman’s promise. Mistress Quickly Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine; I must carry her word quickly. She’ll make you amends, I warrant you. Falstaff Well, I will visit her. Tell her so; and bid her think what a man is; let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit. Mistress Quickly I will tell her. Falstaff Do so. Between nine and ten, sayest thou? Mistress Quickly Eight and nine, sir. Falstaff Well, be gone; I will not miss her. Mistress Quickly Peace be with you, sir. Exit Mistress Quickly. Falstaff I marvel I hear not of Master Brook; he sent me word to stay within. I like his money well. O! here he comes. Enter Ford disguised as Brook. Ford Bless you, sir! Falstaff Now, Master Brook, you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford’s wife?
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