Exes and Exorcisms by Keira Blackwood (uplifting book club books .txt) 📗

I nodded. “Right.”

The door jangled downstairs. I knew that it was Kelly, and my first instinct was to run and see her. But I didn’t move.

“What happens when Marla comes home and finds you’ve taken over her room?” I asked Peter.

“She’ll be in for an unpleasant surprise.” Peter laughed. “It’s about time for you to leave if you don’t want that case of warts I mentioned.”

A layer of slime coated his hand and he started to sit up.

I hurried for the door without arguing. As soon as I stepped into the hall, the door slammed shut behind me, and the click that followed suggested Peter had locked it again.

I headed down the stairs, expecting Kelly to be pissed when she realized I had been in Marla and Grayson’s apartment with Peter and hadn’t dragged him out. But I found her fiddling with the desk, and she jumped when she saw me. She was acting shifty.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said under her breath.

This was not the usual defiant Kelly. Something was seriously wrong.

I sat down near her, but not too close because she stepped away. “Hey,” I said. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I don’t need your pity,” she said. “I’m fine. Better than ever.”

“It’s not pity,” I said. “It’s never pity.”

She didn’t meet my gaze. Instead, she moved around the desk and headed toward the stairs.

“I’m tired,” she said.

It wasn’t that late. Seven, maybe.

“While you were out, I noticed something strange,” I said.

“Everything that Peter does is strange,” she said. “Better not to read too much into it.”

“Not Peter,” I said. “His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice was laced with concern and she went to the back door and opened it enough to peek into the alley.

“He doesn’t seem like himself.”

My phone buzzed with a text. It was probably Clyde, but I wasn’t late for my check-in. I slipped my phone from my pocket to check. There were three texts, all from Clyde.

Code yellow in Redemption.

Not too far from where you are.

You’re closest. If Forbidden is secure, I need you to take it.

The vampires in Forbidden posed no real threat to their community. They were a part of what made Forbidden what it was—a charming, weird little town. I’d hardly spent any time exploring the place, but I knew that much to be true. A big part of what made it so appealing to me, though, was the woman standing with her head out the door.

Kelly turned and frowned at me, shutting the door behind her. “I expected His Lordship to have an injury or something. He looks fine.”

“But doesn’t he look too fine?” Okay, the words sounded bizarre even to me as I said them.

Kelly made a weird face that said she thought I was nuts. “I don’t know what you’ve been drinking, but I think we could both use some rest. I’ll be upstairs, in my room. Good night, Xavier.”

“I have a job,” I said.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “A vampire-murdering job.”

“They’re not all like you,” I said.

She shrugged. “See you if I see you.”

She headed up the stairs without another word. She didn’t ask me to stay, or tell me I shouldn’t do it. She didn’t care if I came or went. The thought was sobering, and it hurt.

“As you wish,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear me.

I gathered my things and texted Clyde.

I’m on it.

10

KELLY

As I listened to Yelling Man on the radio, I leaned against the window. I’d been in this position just a few days ago, watching the cat drama in the alley, before Peter and Xavier had arrived and everything changed. Now, I had my vampire blood brother squatting in Marla and Grayson’s apartment, my ex-boyfriend circling like a shark after chum, and a magical dildo in a box.

I glanced behind me to said box. I’d smuggled it into the shop without Xavier noticing, but now it was upstairs in my room. I kept moving it around, trying to find the best hiding place. I had been too ashamed to tell Xavier what was in the box, and now I dreaded him seeing it. But why should I be ashamed, anyway? The man had dropped back into my life out of nowhere, intent on staking vampires.

Not wanting to think about the banishing dildo, I turned back to the window. Meowcus Anthony was in rare form tonight, yowling out a monologue to his new paramour, Snowball. Cleocatra, jaded and betrayed, watched the pair for a moment before strolling over to the clear alpha male of the group. His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins stood on the lid of a dumpster, watching Meowcus Anthony’s antics with little emotion. He also completely ignored poor Cleocatra as she threw herself at him in a failed attempt to draw Meowcus Anthony’s attention.

Ignoring Yelling Man’s radio show, I watched His Lordship, and his total lack of interest in any of the drama that was so clearly happening around him. That wasn’t right. His Lordship would never take such an affront to his reign without fighting.

I stood up straighter, still watching.

Xavier had been onto something. The way His Lordship licked a paw and then settled onto his belly was simply wrong.

The poor kitten. Maybe he was depressed. I thought of calling Marla, but her first question would be about whether I’d been bringing him his strawberry doughnut each morning. And, of course, I hadn’t been. Maybe he was hungry, not depressed.

I watched more carefully, wincing at Meowcus Anthony’s amorous yowls. His Lordship flopped to his side, knocking Cleocatra from the trash can lid, and licked his belly fur as if cleanliness was his new life goal, not power. If he wasn’t depressed, perhaps his love for Snowball had changed him.

Changed by love. It happened to everyone.

Then again, Xavier and I were the same two people despite our love.

Wait. What?

Love?

I couldn’t believe I’d just thought the word. I had a banishing dildo in my possession, for fuck’s sake.

But I’d