Baby Bundt Cake Confusion (Murder in the Mix Book 31) by Unknown (reading eggs books .txt) 📗

rumor…” Winslow tips his head. “Perhaps we could do something along those lines. Heaven knows we’ve seen enough wicked things to fill entire volumes of books with the dirt we have on them.”

Greer nods. “Cressida mostly. It turns out, Cormack is simply vapid.”

“I could have told you that.” No sooner do I say the words than Keelie whisks me to the front of the room where I’m seated in a large cushy chair akin to a rather garish hot pink throne.

Meg and Carlotta lead us into one game after the other. Baby bingo, which Eliza wins, and guess the jellybeans, of which Kelleth wins. They even place oversize T-shirts on just about everyone here and land a large round balloon underneath it. Each of the women is told to jump, hop, and squat until one of them finally gives birth to their balloon—oddly, my mother is the clear winner. I’m sure jumping, hopping, and squatting at Cormack and Cressida’s beck and call has given her the edge in that event.

We play chug the baby bottle, an event Keelie aces, and taste the baby food blindfolded. The little chicken sausage sticks made a few women gag, but I thought they were quite delightful. I told Meg to hold onto those for me as a snack for later.

Soon, the Bundt cake is being distributed and both Keelie and Lainey help me open a mountain of gifts that span from diaper warmers, and diaper trashcans, to fancy strollers in every shape and size, some of them large enough to fit me, too.

Once the hullabaloo dies down, Meg and Evie trot off to pull another cache of gifts my way. I take the moment to rummage through some of the gorgeous gift baskets.

“What are these?” I ask Keelie and Lainey as I pull a stack of what looks like shoulder pads out of one of the baskets.

“Those are for your boobs.” Keelie nods. “They’re going to get a lot leakier.”

“Oh, they’ve already been leaky. I guess I could use these now.”

“If only leaky boobs was going to be your biggest problem,” Lainey says. “This will really be your lifesaver.” She plucks a tub of lanolin ointment out of the basket and holds it up for me to inspect. “If you don’t slather your nipples with this, they’re liable to crack and bleed.”

“Bleed? Gah!” This isn’t the first time my sister has threatened me with bloody boobs. “You really enjoy trying to scare me, don’t you?”

She shrugs. “Just a little.”

Hours drift by and gifts seemingly pile to the ceiling, and just as I open the last gift, two rather dapper men step in through the back door, each bearing a dozen red roses for yours truly. The room breaks out into applause as Everett and Noah come my way.

“For you, Lemon.” Everett hands me his flowers, along with a kiss.

Noah hands me his flowers as well. “I couldn’t let him upstage me. You look amazing.”

“I look like I’ve been through a war,” I grunt.

“One more game!” Meg shouts. “This time, it’s just for the mama and the papas.” She quickly stands us next to a table with three naked baby dolls and a pile of clothes and diapers. “Let’s see which one of you can diaper and dress these little cuties first. And go!”

Everett, Noah, and I take off with a start as we pluck and pull at the little dolls before us. Noah plucks an arm clear off trying to get a onesie over it and the room groans and laughs at the sight.

“Lemon,” Everett growls. “He’s not getting within an inch of that baby.”

“I promise not to even attempt to dress it,” Noah agrees.

I win by a landslide and hold up my baby doll for all to see and the room breaks out into cheers before dissolving into their own conversations.

“Lottie.” Keelie clucks her tongue. “You have the diaper on backwards and the mitts on the poor kid’s feet.”

“And look.” Lainey takes the doll from her. “You have the hat pulled over its nose so the poor thing can’t breathe.”

Carlotta clucks her tongue, too. “It looks as if the only one qualified to take care of the baby around here is Mr. Sexy.”

“Not true,” Noah is quick to refute it. “He put the crib together backwards, and what should have been a twenty-minute job took over two hours.”

Everett slices a heated glance his way. “That’s because you were reading the directions and telling me what to do. It’s not my fault you started with step four.”

“Crib?” Keelie balks. “The baby won’t need that thing for at least a year.”

“A year?” Everett asks as if he couldn’t have heard right. “Where’s the baby supposed to sleep?”

“The bassinet?” I ask. Mom and Wiley pitched in and bought me a bassinet that rocks, bops, and bounces. I’m sure I could fall asleep in it myself.

“Heck no.” Keelie waves the thought off as if it were absurd. “Right smack-dab between the two of you.”

A dark chuckle bumps from Noah. “And with your luck, Everett, it will be a miniature version of me.”

Lainey rolls her eyes. “Don’t you worry, Everett. It could be a miniature version of you—and Lottie might just be sharing a bed with Noah by then.”

Lainey, Carlotta, and Keelie share a laugh on my behalf just as Evie steps up with Cormack and Cressida.

“Nice baby circus,” Cressida hums my way. “It’s all fun and baby games until it’s time for the little demon to claw its way out of your body. Just wait until you see how much agony the human body is capable of. You’ll beg for someone to hack off one of your legs and beat you with it.”

Little Lea crops up with her machete in hand. “I can arrange for that, Lottie.”

Evie scoffs at her birth mother before I can take Lea up on the offer.

“Don’t let Cressi-duh scare you,” Evie snips while growling over at the woman who gave her half of her genetics. “My mother is going to do