Baby Bundt Cake Confusion (Murder in the Mix Book 31) by Unknown (reading eggs books .txt) 📗

“If it isn’t my favorite trio,” she trills as she washes her hands and comes over to perform an internal examination. “Well, I don’t think you’re in labor. You’re not dilated or effaced, which means the cervix is neither opening nor thinning. And”— she scrutinizes my belly a moment—“I don’t think the baby has dropped into the canal just yet either.”

“So I’m not having the baby?”

“Not today,” she says before looking to Everett. “Lottie is free to resume all normal activity.” She turns to Noah. “But the baby will make its arrival before you know it. Be sure to button up any loose ends you might have. The clock is ticking, and the next time the three of you are here, I suspect you’ll be going home with an extra person in tow.”

A heavy sigh blows from me. “But what about all the pain? I’m having contractions. And they’re very real. I can assure you I’m not being an alarmist.”

“I don’t doubt it,” she says. “But what you’re feeling is Braxton Hicks contractions. In other words, it’s simply your body preparing you for the big moment.”

“Geez,” I grouse as I struggle to sit up. “I don’t need this kind of preparation.”

Everett lowers his chin. “Are you saying she could have these practice contractions right up until the real thing kicks in? How is she supposed to know the difference?”

“Oh, she’ll know.” Her eyes widen as she says it. “I’m sorry to break it to you, Lottie, but Braxton Hicks are only mildly uncomfortable compared to the real thing.”

“Say what?” I’m suddenly having a change of heart about this entire labor and delivery thing.

“It’s true.” She laughs. “But don’t worry. I see you’ve completed your birthing classes and you have two wonderful coaches by your side. This is going to be a breeze for you.”

“Darn tootin’ it will,” I say, channeling my inner Carlotta without meaning to. “Because as soon as I arrive here on delivery day, I’m going to shake this entire building until I’m hopped up on enough narcotics I won’t even know my name.”

She belts out another laugh and suddenly I’m liking her less and less.

“We’ll give the epidural as soon as we’re able, just the way we discussed.”

Noah juts his head forward a notch. “What do you mean by as soon as you’re able?”

She shrugs my way. “We need to wait until you hit a certain point in labor before administrating it. It’s a very delicate balance. I like to wait until you’re at least five centimeters dilated. That ensures you’ll be covered for the length of the delivery.”

“Five is halfway to ten!” Suddenly I’m a math genius, too. “That means I have to go through half my labor without drugs?”

“You’ll be fine, Lottie.” She chortles as she makes her way to the door. “I’ll have them discharge you as soon as the nurses are free to do it. And, even though it’s hard, try to focus on something other than the baby for the next week or two. It will be the very last time in your life that you get to do that. I’ll see you all soon.” She disappears, and I growl in her wake.

“No drugs until halftime,” I mutter. “She’s not very cooperative, is she?”

“Don’t worry, Lemon.” Everett squeezes my hand. “You’re going to be fine, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re comfortable.”

Noah nods. “Same here.”

Everett helps me back into my clothes and we drive back to Country Cottage Road feeling a bit defeated, and I can’t help but note that Noah and Everett kept shooting one another dark glances as if a war were on the horizon. Normally that wouldn’t have set any alarms off, but considering the fact Noah zigzagged all over town instead of taking the direct route home lets me know they thought we were being followed. And I’ll be darned if Jimmy Canelli thinks he’s about to off my husband, the father of my child regardless of its paternity. That mobster has another thing coming.

The two of them help me up the stairs and back into our new rental, only to be met with hundreds if not thousands of boxes stacked to the ceiling taking up every square inch of our home.

“Surprise!” Evie shouts as she holds out her hands to the melee. “Bear and Noah’s dad delivered all your gifts so you wouldn’t have to do it. It looks as if the kid is taking over before it even gets here. Sorry to break it to you, but adding a kid to the family is pretty much going to be a disaster.”

“Did you have the baby, Lot?” Carlotta jumps out from a tower of boxes and she just so happens to be holding my sweet cats, Pancake and Waffles, a couple of cream-colored Himalayan brothers. “More importantly, did you make a pit stop at the Honey Hollow Fire Department on the way home?”

The aforementioned Honey Hollow Fire Department happens to be the exact locale where Carlotta abandoned me as an infant. And I’m still thankful about that to this day.

“No to both. I’m keeping the baby, Carlotta.”

“Well, your kid has already acquired too much junk,” she riots. “This catastrophe bleeds all the way to the foot of my door. How is Harry supposed to sneak in and out of here at night in peace?”

Harry would be Mayor Harry Nash, my biological father, or so I think he’s still playing the role of my DNA donor. Life has been surprising me as of late.

Noah’s chest expands. “We’ll move this into the garage.”

“Can’t do it.” Everett shakes his head at the inventory we seem to have acquired. “There’s only room in there for the cars. Never mind, we’ll move the cars out to the driveway. Spring is almost here. Everything will work out, Lemon.”

Noah nods. “And I’ll do the same. My garage can hold whatever you need as well.”

They get right to work and I stare