Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) by Sarah Duncan (red seas under red skies txt) 📗

on me on Saturday night when she realised it was me calling, not Simon.

As if I haven’t tortured myself enough, I scroll through my messages from Ayden for the next ten minutes. He hasn’t responded to my drunk text. I’m partially happy about that because WTF was I thinking? I’m also somewhat annoyed because if he hasn’t messaged me, it obviously means he isn’t thinking about me.

As if I have the power to summon him, little bubbles pop up in our message chat to indicate that he is typing a reply. My heart stops. My lungs cease working, and my head spins. Holy shit! Is Ayden replying to me? I shouldn’t want him to as much as I do, but fuck, I really, really do. The bubbles keep scrolling over and over before they stop and disappear, and I wait a moment for a message to come through, but it never comes.

My eyes burn, and my heart kicks in at a rapid pace while air seeps into my lungs. If Ayden had written a reply, then he must have deleted it and moved on. Shit! That knowledge sends sharp pain to the centre of my chest, and I have to fight to remain quiet and not scream.

I’m thankful when Jared is ready because I need his distraction. Digging deep, I muster up the mask I used to wear to fool everyone into thinking that I had a good life. I don’t want Jared or anyone else to see how upset I am over Ayden.

We head to school and stop at the mouth of Marcus’s street to pick him up. I’m quiet as the boys talk about footy and some new PlayStation game that’s coming out this week as we walk. They must sense that I’m not in a chatty mood, so they don’t force the issue, but I can see them glancing at me frequently from the corner of my eye. As we get closer to school, clusters of students enter the grounds together, and my anxiety soars. I desperately want to turn around and go back home.

Deep breaths, Lexi.

For once, I listen to myself and take steady deep breaths, trying to slow my racing heart. My eyes focus on the ground in front of me as we walk, and I repeat over and over in my head, keep going Lexi, you can do this! It helps me push forward, and I hope like hell that my fear doesn’t show on my face.

Simon, Shaun and Garrett are lingering just outside the gates when we arrive. Garrett doesn’t wait for us to reach them. Instead, he approaches me, swinging his arm around my shoulders and grins down, giving me a wink. Christ, did they all learn that wink from Ayden?

“We got you, Lex,” Garrett repeats the words Jared said earlier this morning, reminding me I’m not alone. They are right here by my side.

Hushed whispers float through the air as we make our way into the schoolyard. It’s tough, but I hold my head high despite how visible my fading bruises still are, and I ignore the stares from basically everyone we walk past.

The moment I lay eyes on Tasha, Allison, Amanda, Sophie and Abbey, I start to struggle, and the need to flee or go ape shit on their arses begins to consume me.

“Looks like the trash has arrived.” Tasha’s whiney voice holds no fear. “You should let go of her, Garrett. You might catch something.”

On instinct, I start towards her, but Garrett bunches his muscled arm and holds me firmly to his side.

“Hey look, Marcus,” Garrett’s raised voice commands everyone’s attention, “Isn’t she that Tasha bitch who gave you crabs?”

I nearly choke, shocked. I’ve never heard Garrett speak to or about a girl like that.

The boys stop walking, and Marcus glares over at Tasha, looking her from head to toe, curling his lip in disgust.

“Yep, that’s her. She also has the smelliest cunt I’ve ever come across.” Marcus gags, and the rest of the boys screw their faces up before they walk again.

Holy shit! Did that really happen? I hate the word Marcus used, and I’m shocked that he spoke like that too, but I don’t feel sorry for Tasha. Not one bit.

Laughter carries across the crowd of onlookers, and they join in throwing taunts at Tasha. I can’t help but feel happy about it. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. I’ve been through too much shit to care about Tasha’s feelings right now.

I don’t miss the way my former friend’s glare at me as we walk past, scrunching their noses up at me like I’m a foul smell. Not Abbey, though. She doesn’t have the balls to look at me. She keeps her brown eyes cast down at her feet. Coward!

My school day starts at the Principal’s office. She requested to meet with me in person before I go to class, and I have to dig really fucking deep to walk through the door that last time held my dad behind it, right before he drugged me.

“Miss West. It’s lovely to finally meet you in person.” Principal Rogan is dressed in a navy pin skirt and suit jacket that matches the school uniform. Her chocolate brown hair is long and straight, and her dark brown eyes are kind.

I offer her a small but fake smile and sit in the seat she gestures to. Instead of sitting behind her desk like the previous Principal always did, she takes the seat next to mine, turning it on an angle to face me.

“So, how are you feeling about today?” I regard Mrs Rogan for a moment before responding, needing the time to clear the panic rising in my chest.

“The old me would say that I’m feeling eager to get stuck back into my work.” I relax back in the chair, trying to appear unbothered, my usual prim and proper mask long gone.

“And what would the you that is sitting here now say?” She asks, her eyes