Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) by Sarah Duncan (red seas under red skies txt) 📗

days I'm eager to eat something. When the guys notice me standing in the doorway, their chatter dies down, and the room goes quiet. I hate it. I don’t want the uncomfortable silence to be a part of our group. Maybe they are already done with me, ready to cut ties and have fun with the likes of Tasha and her minions.

In an effort to change the feel of the room, I decide to use humour to disguise my discomfort.

“So how many of you got a look at my rack?”

All the boy’s chuckle. Well, all except for Garrett.

“You got a nice rack, Lex.” Simon offers his opinion, and I smile.

“Thanks. I hope you got a good look because that’s the first and last time you will see it, Simon.” I move to the kitchen bench and snatch up a pancake, smearing Nutella on it and roll it up.

“Oh, don’t worry. I got those babies saved into the spank bank.” Simon taps the side of his head; his smug look gets rewarded with a punch in the arm from Jared. “Ouch.”

The boys laugh again, and we all relax. I’m about to bite into my Nutella pancake when I notice Garrett sitting at the end of the bench, staring at his uneaten plate of pancakes. He won’t look at me or anyone else for that matter.

Putting my pancake down on Shaun’s plate, he glances at me and shoots me a wink, and I respond with a small grin as I pass by to where Garrett is sitting on the barstool. I can tell he’s freaking out still, but I need him to look at me because I really want things to be okay between us. I stand in his peripheral, but he doesn’t look at me, so I nudge his shoulder, trying to get his attention. He still doesn’t look at me, but I hear his quiet words.

“I’m sorry, Lexi.”

Needing him to know that I’m okay, I spin his barstool to face me and watch the surprise on his chiselled face as I step between his legs. His blue-grey eyes are drowning in pain as they roam my face. Moving slowly, because I feel like he’s a caged animal that will startle at any moment, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug. Instantly, as if relief suddenly washes over him, Garrett’s arms wrap around my waist, tugging me closer into his chest as he buries his head into the crook of my neck.

I didn’t intend on my emotions showing too much, but when I feel Garrett’s slight shudders, I can tell he’s crying. That undoes me, and we both cry silently in each other’s arms. We pull each other tight, and Garrett’s firm athletic body moulds to mine, his woody scent wrapping around me like a blanket. It’s nice, not Ayden nice, but nice all the same.

Someone’s hand pushes between us at some point, leaving a handful of tissues behind. Still wrapped in each other’s arms, we pull back enough to use the tissues, and it’s like we are in our own little cocoon, not letting everyone else see our faces as we keep our heads low, tucked into each other’s chest. It feels intimate in a way. Not sexually so, but intimate nevertheless.

“I’m sorry I freaked out, Garrett. It’s not your fault. My head is all fucked up.” I whisper, needing him to understand. I’m so worried that I have scared him and the other boys from wanting to stay involved with me. I know they are better off without me, but I don't want to let them go.

“I’m going to kill anyone who has ever hurt you.” Garrett breathes, the warmth of it fluttering over my cheek. The fierceness in his tone is so sure that I believe every word he said. If there’s one thing I know about Garrett, it’s that he wears his heart on his sleeve, and combined with his struggles to keep his anger in check, killing someone could certainly be on his cards. That thought should scare me, but it doesn’t. I know he would never hurt me.

“You know, I’m getting kind of jealous watching you hug Cole like that.” Using Garrett’s surname, Simon’s playful voice breaks our bubble.

Reluctantly, I step back from Garrett. I can tell he doesn’t want to let me go, but he does. Wiping my face again, I make sure all the tears are gone before moving back to Shaun so I can grab my pancake from his plate. He gives me a classic cheeky Shaun grin that would make most girl’s melt, and another wink as I take a bite of my Nutella pancake. I can’t hold back the moan that escapes me as the sweet goodness hits my tongue, and it’s almost as if I’m possessed, not able to control myself.

“Jesus, Lex. You’ll make a man hard, moaning like that.” Shaun’s dark gaze is on my mouth, and I roll my eyes while the other guys chuckle. Turning away from them, I shove the pancake in my mouth in a very unladylike manner, and once I’ve devoured it, I turn back to see five sets of eyes still looking at me. It reminds me of a fuzzy moment from last night when they looked at me the same way. An uncomfortable weight sits in my chest as I take in my friends. I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, but I’m fairly sure that if I was interested, I could kiss any of these guys, and they would happily comply. As nice as it is to feel wanted like that, I don’t want that from any of them. I need their friendship, their loyalty. I need their support.

“We need to talk.” My voice echoes in the silent room as their eyes remain on me.

“You guys are my friends, right?” They all nod at my question. “Like just friends. Nothing more?” They slowly nod. “Because if you guys can’t do the