Whirlwind by Bailey Bradford (big ebook reader txt) 📗

been able to think, since he’d come to understand he was different. It didn’t matter if his physical brain had gone on to wherever and his spirit was normal, he’d always felt tainted by his living form.

No wonder Jordan and Gideon hadn’t wanted him. Someone probably had told them about Stefan’s lack of mental acuity when he’d lived. They might have just figured out he was weird on their own, too.

It all hurt, and Stefan was so tired of hurting, tired of covering it all up—his insecurities and doubts, his memories and regrets, all of it. He’d had enough of being the bright, happy sidekick. God damn it, he wanted to hurt the people who had hurt him.

Or so he thought, until he saw Gideon and Jordan, bruised, bleeding—he didn’t even wonder on that—each man barely standing under the onslaught of attackers. Guilt slammed into him at the same time that a fist connected with his stomach. Stefan’s breath gusted from his lungs as he doubled over.

He saw the boot coming for his head, someone kicking at him. He threw out one hand, trying to block the blow. The kick never landed as the man was grabbed and thrown in the opposite direction.

Gideon, panting, furious, grabbed Stefan under the armpits and yanked him upright.

“Home,” Gideon snapped.

Yes, Stefan wanted that too, and he wanted Jordan with them. Every part of him ached, some parts throbbed and others seemed like they were screaming from pain. Stefan wanted comfort, he wanted to pretend at least for a while that he mattered to someone as more than a friend or brother.

He wasn’t sure what had happened. His mind was racing with images of Johnny mocking him, fucking him, killing him, and the crazy sons of bitches from the bar. So many mean people in his head. Stefan didn’t want to remember any of them.

“Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

Oh God, now I’m delusional too. No one spoke to him like that, like he really was special.

“Stefan, open your eyes for me,” someone else said. Stefan knew those voices, Gideon’s rougher one first, then Jordan’s. He had to be dreaming.

Soft touches to his shoulders and face made him whimper. He wanted to be cared for so much that the lack of it hurt worse than the physical pain he felt from the fight.

“Come here,” Gideon rumbled. Stefan didn’t know what he meant and figured Gideon must be talking to Jordan since Gideon still had an arm around Stefan.

But Gideon might not have been talking to Jordan, because the warm, hard length of Gideon’s body was suddenly pressed to Stefan’s entire backside. He shivered as Gideon’s breath wafted over the sensitive skin of his neck.

“I have you,” Gideon whispered just as another body pushed against Stefan’s front. “Me and Jo, we have you. We’re not letting you go until we figure this out.”

Stefan didn’t have the energy to argue or express his disbelief. There was no point in doing so anyway. He knew this was all a dream. He’d wake up by himself, just like he had all his life.

* * * *

Jordan knew the instant Conner appeared. The air in the room seemed to grow frigid. Gideon grunted and Jordan raised his head up to find Conner, looking like he’d never even been in a huge brawl, glowering above them.

“Let him go,” Conner snapped, the temperature dropping even more.

“Conner,” Ro began, tugging on his arm. “Calm down. All you’re going to do is make Lee and Darren’s whole house unbearably cold. Why would you want to do that?”

Conner growled and flung his hands up. “I don’t want to! I want to toast these two bozos’ asses and toss them out of McKinton!”

Gideon turned his head a few inches. “No.”

“No?” Conner mimicked.

“No,” Jordan added. “You don’t get to do that. If Stefan wants us to go, then we will.” Jordan didn’t want to leave his mother behind, but he wouldn’t hurt Stefan again.

“He won’t want either of you here after the way you’ve hurt him,” Conner informed them. “Selfish fuckers.”

Gideon sat up a bit, but kept one hand planted on Stefan’s hip. “It’s not your place to judge us. What happened between the three of us, that’s our business, but I can assure you we didn’t break any promises to Stefan.”

“No, you just broke his heart,” Conner snapped. “Or his hopes, at least. Maybe he wasn’t all googly in love with y’all, but he’s been alone for so long, and I’ve watched him for years, wanting someone of his own. Waiting for someone to see how amazing Stefan is, to appreciate him and to be trusted by him. Stefan’s past—”

“Is my business,” Stefan cut in softly. “It’s my business only.”

Conner’s entire expression shifted from furious to loving. “Right, Stef, it is, and you don’t owe these two fools anything, okay?”

Before he could do anything to stop it, Jordan was pushed aside and held against one wall. Gideon hit the opposite one with a thump. Conner stood with his arms extended in their directions, power oozing from him. He only had eyes for Stefan.

“I know you hate being alone, Stef, but don’t settle for anything less than you deserve, and contrary to what you might think, you deserve to be treated like a goddamned treasure.” Conner moved over and sat beside Stefan.

Jordan still couldn’t unpin himself from the wall.

“You can’t blame yourself for how you were born,” Conner began.

“Stop,” Stefan pleaded, sitting up and grabbing onto Conner’s shoulders. “Please, just stop.”

Conner cocked his head and stared back at Stefan. “You’re ashamed.”

Stefan looked away.

Jordan wondered what the hell Stefan had to be ashamed of. Jordan looked at Gideon, who glanced at him in confusion then focused on Stefan.

“No, you have no reason, Stef.” Conner pulled Stefan into a hug. “You don’t. All this time, you’ve hated yourself for it and I didn’t even see it.”

“I don’t hate myself,” Stefan whispered, clinging to Conner. “I just hate that about myself.”

“Oh, baby,” Conner sighed. He buried his nose in Stefan’s