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I did in prison.  It was gonna be just like old times, but this time Iā€™d have somethinā€™ to keep his hands out of the fuckinā€™ way.  Make it easier to take total control.

I only had that once, before -- havinā€™ a guy tied up so he couldnā€™t fight back.  But it was, like, a kick-ass feelinā€™, to the nine-hundredth power.  It was when I got a guard at Mid-State.  A fuckinā€™ prison guard asshole.  ā€œLiterally,ā€ like Lennyā€™d say.  Man, that made me feel like I was king of the world.

It happened a week ā€˜fore I was set to go up for a parole hearinā€™.  This overbuilt piece of raw beef in blue had started givinā€™ me shit every time I turned around.  His name was Carter anā€™ he was a ten-year military cop vet with this pug-Irish face that made you think of an IRA terrorist.  Heā€™d ignored me the two years he worked while I was in, but suddenly he was makinā€™ up for lost time.  If my cell wasnā€™t in perfect order, heā€™d trash it anā€™ make me clean it all up.  If my shoes werenā€™t tied, heā€™d spit on ā€˜em anā€™ make me polish ā€˜em with my shirt.  Then heā€™d bust my balls for wearinā€™ a dirty uniform.  If I looked at him wrong, I had to stand at attention anā€™ listen to him bitch for half an hour, usinā€™ words Iā€™d never even heard before.  Anā€™ his guard buddies help him when he needed it.  Or just wanted it.

ā€˜Course, I got what was goinā€™ on; he wanted me to make a move on him so he could fuck up my parole.  I just didnā€™t get why.  So I figured Iā€™d find out.

First I started actinā€™ like he was gettinā€™ to me, makinā€™ me afraid of him.  Wasnā€™t hard to do.  Just hunched my shoulders a bit when he came by anā€™ looked away, real quick.  Give a little jump when I see him.  Swallow hard.  All that bullshit stuff.  So he started gettinā€™ nastier.  Started thinkinā€™ like he ā€œknewā€ I wouldnā€™t fight back, like I was scared of him.  Anā€™ he started gettinā€™ stupid anā€™ sloppy about it.  After a couple days of that, he was ready to take down.  So I made arrangements with a couple of my pack to decoy him into the laundry room ā€˜cause heā€™d give them some shit, too.  Yā€™know, thatā€™s where I was still workinā€™, after six fuckinā€™ years!  Anā€™ Connie wondered why she couldnā€™t get me to do laundry.  Anyhow, they had a good idea what I was up to, so they were on board from the get-go.

So ā€˜bout ten a-m, when all the machines were goinā€™, I hid between two of ā€˜em.  Sort of a wide space between two packs of washers.  Lots of guys slip in there to take care of each other or themselves, but my pack made sure the place stayed clear for me.  They waited till the machines were doinā€™ the spin, which gets real loud, then one of ā€˜em told him I was in the back gettinā€™ sucked off by my punk of the month.  Olā€™ Carter -- big, dumb, blond, full-of-himself Carter -- he hustled back there to catch me anā€™ do his number.

Soon as he rounded this corner, he was out of sight of the other guards.  Thatā€™s when I grabbed him, put my little shiv against his throat anā€™ made him come with me way behind the last machine.  He was shittinā€™ bricks, lemme tell you, whisperinā€™ the whole way, ā€œCā€™mon, man, you donā€™t wanna fuck up your parole.  You donā€™t wanna do that.ā€  What he didnā€™t get is, Iā€™d learned not to care.  You let a fuckinā€™ pig pull shit on you anā€™ get away with it, you lose all the respect you built up inside.  Anā€™ no fuckinā€™ way was that gonna happen to me.

I slammed his face into this corner anā€™ held him there.  Man, I had a hard-on like you wouldnā€™t believe, anā€™ I was pushinā€™ it hard against his ass to let him know what I was gonna do.  Anā€™ he was freakinā€™, I can tell you.  I donā€™t think he really thought Iā€™d do it, ā€˜cause he kept up his bullshit.

ā€œMan, this is stupid.  This is stupid.  Youā€™re already in deep shit.  You donā€™t want to add ten years to your sentence!ā€

I slammed him against the corner, again, anā€™ snarled in his ear, ā€œWhy you fuckinā€™ with me, man?ā€

ā€œI ainā€™t,ā€ he said, whimperinā€™.

ā€œBullshit!  You been on my ass all week.  Whoā€™s got you gunninā€™ for me?ā€

ā€œNobody!ā€

I reached ā€˜round anā€™ grabbed his crotch.  Squeezed it.  He gasped, but I had him so tight anā€™ the shiv so sharp against him, he didnā€™t dare yell.  ā€œDonā€™t fuckinā€™ lie to me, cunt!  Iā€™ll cut your fuckinā€™ balls off!ā€

He squirmed then finally croaked out, ā€œBuddy of mine.  He told me you...you got his nephew.  When he was in your cell.  Fucked the kid.  Fucked him up.  He wants you to stay in.ā€

ā€œWhat dā€™you mean I fucked him up?ā€

ā€œHe -- he tried to kill himself.  Heā€™s on tranqā€™s.  Twenty-four-hour suicide watch.ā€

ā€œNo shit?ā€

ā€œYeah.  I knew him.  He was a good kid, just a little fucked up from drugs.  Didnā€™t belong in here.  Never should have been sent here.  And now...ā€œ

ā€œAnā€™ itā€™s me fucked him up, huh?ā€

He nodded.  I fuckinā€™ loved it!  Really fuckinā€™ loved the idea that Iā€™d messed up some rich-bitch little pansyā€™s life so much that mommy anā€™ daddy had to shell out some of their big bucks to put him back together.  I mean, twenty-four-seven care ainā€™t cheap, even if you got insurance.  Anā€™ I bet I knew which punk it was, too -- that first one I hammered in the ass anā€™ got to shoot his wad.  He was roistered out ā€˜fore Carter transferred in.  I almost came in my pants thinkinā€™ ā€˜bout it.

So

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