Exes and Exorcisms by Keira Blackwood (uplifting book club books .txt) 📗

juice. However, my current spray bottle is already full, and you’ll need to use your own spray bottle.”

“Cat-themed ingredients because of the cat host?” Xavier asked.

Ben looked at him like that was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. “Uh no. There is no cat theme. You’re imagining things. I said strength. The demon is stronger, therefore we need stronger ingredients.”

Xavier put a hand up in defense.

“We can gather everything and get a spray bottle,” I said, “no problem whatsoever.”

“Once you gather those things,” he said, “you blend them together, pour in the demon juice, add them to your spray bottle, give it seven good shakes, and then spray the cat. Be sure not to screw it up because as the demon gets stronger, it’ll do more than just make its hosts act opposite their normal behavior.”

“Like, what will it do?” Marla asked.

“It’ll convince them to do evil in the pursuit of that opposition. Creating flowers could turn into replacing all crops with flowers, or with filling up homes so people can’t live in them.”

His Lordship gave me a plaintive, affectionate look.

“How do we know the demon won’t jump to yet another host?” I asked

“Ha!” Benjamin said. “No demon can survive the concoction. You’ll be good.” He turned away and fiddled with his golf bag. I probably only imagined him muttering the word probably.

“You’re not going to do it for us?” Xavier asked.

“I have to go up to Cincinnati,” Ben said. “Sorry, but my SCROTE conference awaits. Here.” He took his spray bottle from his golf bag and looked around. “Do you have a cup or something I can pour some of this into for you?”

Marla opened one of the cupboards adjacent to a workstation and found two canisters. “They held extra ink, but they’re empty now,” she said.

“Perfect,” Ben said, carefully opening the top of his spray bottle.

Marla opened the ink canisters and held them still while Ben dumped a pungent-smelling purple liquid into each one.

“There ya go,” Ben said, moving to the door and stepping outside. As the door closed behind him, he called, “Wish me luck at the SCROTE conference.”

Then he was gone. We were on our own.

“I think we need more luck than he does,” Grayson said, eyeing the ink canisters on the counter.

15

XAVIER

After collecting the ingredients for the stronger spell, we returned to the tattoo parlor and lined things up on the counter. Kelly retrieved a blender from upstairs while Grayson, Marla, and I waited with a loudly purring His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins. Somehow the cat seemed bigger and stronger than even a cat His Lordship’s size should be as he aggressively rubbed against Marla’s legs.

“Do you want me to pick you up?” Grayson asked Marla, as she swayed and grabbed onto the wall.

“I’m good,” she said.

Watching them together made me envious—they seemed to be one hundred percent into each other. The way Marla looked at Grayson reminded me of how Kelly looked at me sometimes, with a softening around her eyes and mouth. There was no doubt in my mind that Kelly and I were mates.

Kelly jogged down the steps with a blender held out like a trophy. “Ready!”

Grayson lifted a skeptical brow at Marla and pointed at the cat who was still rubbing against Marla’s legs. “He’s knocking you over.”

“It’s better than having him on my shoulders again. Plus, Kelly will be done soon, and His Lordship will be back to his wonderfully sour self. Right, Kelly?” Marla shot Kelly a hopeful look.

Kelly ignored her and held her palm out to me. “Sardines.”

I perused the items lined up on the counter, grabbed the three cans, and handed them over. When Kelly opened the first, a cloud of nasty stink overtook the air. Grayson and I gagged. The month since expiration had not been kind to the already stinky fish.

“Sensitive shifter noses,” Kelly laughed at us, but her eyes were watering from the stink, too.

“Let’s get this over with,” Marla said, covering her nose and mouth with her hand. “Or else I’m going to puke.”

“Catmint,” Kelly said, with her palm out.

I snagged it from the counter, along with one of the cups of demon juice Yelling Man had given us.

“What exactly is demon juice?” Grayson asked. “Because it’s even nastier than the fish.”

“Who knows,” I said. “But it’s a hell of a lot worse when it gets sprayed in your eyes.”

Grayson and Marla looked at each other, then both turned to Kelly. Taking advantage of Marla’s distraction, His Lordship climbed back up to Marla’s shoulders.

“What?” Kelly furrowed her brows in offense. “I didn’t spray Xavier.”

Marla forced her lips into a line, but she couldn’t hide the smile sparkling in her eyes.

“I didn’t,” Kelly insisted, throwing ingredients into the blender. Then she looked at me to verify her statement.

“She didn’t spray me,” I agreed.

Grayson still looked unconvinced. “You have to watch out for this one,” he said.

“I know,” I said. “She’s always been a firecracker.”

“It’s not too late to spray you both with the new stuff,” Kelly said.

So that she wouldn’t have to hear either of us respond, Kelly turned on the blender. With a loud whirl and grind, the ingredients combined into a bubbly black liquid. I helped Kelly funnel them into the new spray bottle, and we were all set.

Marla tried to pull the cat from her shoulders. He purred louder and dug his claws into her.

“Let me help.” Grayson reached for the cat, but His Lordship squirmed and clawed his way around the front of Marla’s neck like some kind of giant kitty necklace.

“Stop, stop,” she cried, wincing with pain.

Grayson let go and took a step back, hands in the air in submission.

His Lordship licked Marla’s cheek and wrapped himself tighter around her neck.

“I’m not sure we’re getting him off of you without taking a chunk of you with him,” Kelly said.

“Yeah, I got that,” Marla said. “I guess I’m taking one for the team.”

Kelly squeezed the trigger, coating Marla and His Lordship in a cloud of black