Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📗

so I keep the thought to myself. ‘I was drunk, Lucy, and he kissed me. I don’t want your boyfriend. If anyone needs to say sorry, it’s you.’

‘I didn’t scare your bloody horse, Jenna, and I’m hurt you think I would.’

‘I feel hurt you think I’d make a pass at your boyfriend. It was your jacket.’

‘There must be thousands of light blue jackets in the country.’

‘But why wouldn’t you say where you’d been that afternoon? You were really cagey when I asked you.’

‘It doesn’t matter now. We’re here to talk about Mum,’ she says, claiming the moral high ground.

Lay on the guilt, why don’t you? ‘I know, but if we’re here to sort out our differences, this is important. Where were you?’

Lucy sighs and glances at the elderly couple on the next table who are sharing a huge slice of chocolate cake. She runs her finger through spilt sugar, gathering it into a neat little pile. She won’t look at me.

‘I was shopping.’

‘Why is that a big secret?’

‘Because I told Mum we’re saving hard for a house, and if she knows I was out buying a new outfit she’d be disappointed.’

‘You’re an adult. You can buy whatever you like.’

‘You don’t understand. I’ve told her I’m only wearing clothes I already own for the next year because Ellis and I are saving hard and I want to do my bit for the planet.’

Wow. Lucy has been telling porkies.

‘You’re not the only person around here who cares about the environment, you know,’ she adds. Trust Lucy to turn it into a competition.

‘Why do you always have to be so perfect in Mum and Dad’s eyes?’ I say, then realise my mistake as Lucy looks stricken.

I swallow, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. ‘Sorry. It’s hard not saying Mum and Dad.’

For a moment the incident with Merlin recedes to the back of my mind. I hate to see Lucy upset. I want to run around the table and hug her but she’d only push me away. I would have expected Dad’s death to bring us closer together but somehow it hasn’t. Maybe it’s because we grieve in different ways. My emotions are on display for all to see whereas Lucy keeps hers locked securely away in the equivalent of a safety deposit box in a bank vault.

‘What’s wrong with Mum?’ Lucy asks. ‘You told me on the phone that you’d ask Grace about what Mum said.’

‘She’s had some pain and the doctor is sending her for a scan on Tuesday. Grace seems quite upset by it.’

‘She hasn’t been working for Mum for long but they’ve grown quite close. Did you know Grace’s mum died when she was fifteen?’

‘God! How awful.’ No wonder she likes being with Mum. ‘Is her Dad still alive?’

‘I didn’t like to ask. You do realise you’ll have to put your travel plans on hold until we know what’s wrong with Mum? She might need you.’

‘Of course I bloody well realise it. I’m not that selfish!’

‘You are sometimes, Jenna.’

‘You just have to criticise, don’t you?’ The moment of conciliation is well and truly over. Ruined by Lucy, of course. I stand up because this conversation is a total waste of time. ‘I’ve got to go. I’ll see you around.’

‘Are you sure you’ll be able to travel alone anyway?’ Lucy asks, still goading me, her mean little eyes pure poison.

At this moment it’s all too easy to believe she spooked Merlin deliberately.

‘You’re not as independent as you like to think,’ she continues. ‘I don’t know how you’d cope if Mum wasn’t looking after you – paying the bills, doing your washing and buying your food. I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve got, but you’ve been totally spoilt. Does Grace tidy your room for you too?’

‘Fuck off, Lucy,’ I say, eliciting a shake of the head from the man on the next table, and with that I leave the shop.

She always manages to burrow under my skin like scabies. I know she's right about me still living at home rent free, but I’ve not had much luck at getting jobs that pay above minimum wage. I work long hours for little pay. It’s hard when I don’t have the same academic ability as Lucy.

I drive home too fast and the gravel spits on the driveway as I stop. I won’t let her get to me. Of course I’m able to look after myself. Mum said it was okay for me not to pay towards household expenses while I’m saving up to travel. On my way through the utility room, I look again for the blue jacket. I rummage through the various coats and hoodies. What? There it is, under my thick Parka. I’m sure it wasn’t there before. It was this jacket I saw in the wood. It was definitely Lucy who waved the carrier bag to spook Merlin.

Chapter 23

The Previous March | DI Paton

Paton was at his desk by eight to read through the reports from his team. Wendy was feeling better and coping with life again. He was grateful it had been a short episode this time but his good mood at her improvement was short-lived when he saw the reports. He was disappointed to read that the police were unable to use data from the DNA ancestry websites without a court order and there would need to be a strong case for the judge to consent to one. Paton tried to console himself with the interesting information Cheryl had gleaned from Robert Nash’s wife. Apparently, he’d been making regular trips to Manchester over the past eight weeks as he was negotiating the takeover of a small coffee shop chain. It sounded a long time for one negotiation but Paton didn’t know enough about that line of work to judge. He might take a trip down there and ask a few questions of the owners. He was about to check the journey time on Google Maps when Mitchell stopped by his desk.

Paton looked up