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shit.  I mean, her doinā€™ the cunt-wagon got me to hatinā€™ her.  Anā€™ every time I went to Wayneā€™s, I wound up with a blow job from him or Lenny anā€™ a hundred bucks in my pocket.  It got to where that was better than sex with herā€™d ever been.  I mean, not physically, but financially.  Thatā€™s all.  Same for emotionally, from either side.  In fact, the only good thing about her goinā€™ on the rag was, it gave me an excuse to bust out of the house.

As for Shayes, he was too fuckinā€™ easy.  He worked the late shift, got off at midnight or just before.  I followed him home, one night -- it was easy cake, even in the dark -- anā€™ wrote down his address.  Up in Woodland Hills.  Pricey, but not too much so.  I went back a couple times over the next two weeks to scope it out, anā€™ found out from sneakinā€™ a look at his mail that his full nameā€™s Jonathan Robert Shayes.  ā€œThe third.ā€  Anā€™ I caught on to how heā€™s got a wife anā€™ three kids -- two girls anā€™ a boy, none of ā€˜em in grade school, yet -- two cars anā€™ a membership at this gym in Van Nuys.  Heā€™d drop off there to pump iron, shower anā€™ shave before headinā€™ to work, four days a week.  Almost like clockwork.

Wayne got a buddy of his at some TV news station to pull up some of Shayesā€™ arrest reports, both before anā€™ after our encounter.  The bastard busted a couple dozen guys over the space of a month with the same routine -- them callinā€™ him up, him goinā€™ over anā€™ then writinā€™ ā€˜em up or slappinā€™ the cuffs on ā€˜em.  A couple were guys from out of town.  Probably away from the Mrs. for a sales job anā€™ thought theyā€™d have some fun in La-La land doinā€™ what they really wished they were doinā€™ back home.  Anā€™ wound up gettinā€™ fucked over for it.  So theyā€™d plead ā€œno contestā€ anā€™ pay their fines as quietly as they could anā€™ hoped nobodyā€™d find out.

Now, I didnā€™t like Shayes, no question, but I didnā€™t hate him, at first...not like Wayne seemed to.  Watchinā€™ him drive his year old Ford anā€™ mow his lawn in ratty old GAP shorts anā€™ skanky tee-shirt anā€™ wave at people in the neighborhood anā€™ play with his kids anā€™ his dog anā€™ his cop buddies when they came over for a barbeque -- he just made me tired.  Beyond belief.  He was a nothinā€™ guy in a nothinā€™ world doinā€™ a job bustinā€™ guys who tried to forget they had nothinā€™ lives, too.

But readinā€™ those reports?  Seeinā€™ how they all read the same, almost down to the word?  Knowinā€™ it meant it didnā€™t matter what did or didnā€™t really happen, that when Shayes went off on his little visits, it was with the sole intention of bustinā€™ up somebodyā€™s life ā€˜cause they werenā€™t what the world saw as acceptable?   Well, I started hatinā€™ him, too.

I started seeinā€™ in him all the assholes who ever put me down.  Who told me how to live then turned their backs on me when I tried to be like they wanted.  Who punished me for not just lettinā€™ ā€˜em kill what little fire I had inside me.  Who let others try to tear me apart to prove I was breakable.  Who just vanished from my life.  He was those guards on my first night in prison, who put me in a cell with three beaners knowinā€™ full well theyā€™d fuck me in the mouth anā€™ in the ass.  He was that fuckinā€™ minister who told me to live by Godā€™s word then didnā€™t do a fuckinā€™ thing to help me do it when I was freed.  He was that fuckinā€™ dealer who gave me my first drag on a doobie then got me to workinā€™ for him so I could afford to keep doinā€™ it, ā€˜cause it helped me not to care.  He was Connie always ridinā€™ my ass ā€˜bout not doinā€™ better with my life.  He was my mom for not beinā€™ my mom.  He was her asshole husband.  He was fuckinā€™ Anthony.  He was shit, to me, anā€™ I was gonna show him just how shit gets treated.

Anā€™ I was gonna make it worth prison.

We decided the best time to take the fucker was before he hit the gym.  Nobodyā€™d notice he wasnā€™t there, so he wouldnā€™t get missed till he didnā€™t show for work, anā€™ by then weā€™d be havinā€™ our fun with him.  I had it worked out how to grab him, all Wayne had to do was drive the van.

Shayes always left his house right between one anā€™ one-fifteen, so me anā€™ Wayne were ready anā€™ waitinā€™ by that time.  I wanted us to be down by the gym, waitinā€™ for him there.  I knew what his car looked like anā€™ where he usually parked it, but Wayne had this need to see him come out of his home.  ā€œPreparation,ā€ he called it.  I didnā€™t get it.  Didnā€™t like it, but then he pointed out somebody might see us waitinā€™ for Shayes anā€™ get suspicious; better if we follow him like a couple guys who just happen to be goinā€™ the same way as him.  I still didnā€™t like it, but I went along.

So there we were, half a block down in an empty subdivision.  Waitinā€™.  I dunno ā€˜bout Wayne, but my heart was poundinā€™ anā€™ I could barely sit still, I was so up for it.  I kept tryinā€™ to figure out how things could go wrong anā€™ lay plans to take care of that.  My only real worry was if he had a pistol in his car.  I hadnā€™t seen him carry one with him to the gym, but beinā€™ a cop, for sure he had to have one...somewhere.  What if he pulled it

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