Lockey vs. the Apocalypse by Meadows, Carl (love novels in english .TXT) 📗

I was about to finally get some live time with the shotgun. Kinaesthetic learning, bitches. Learn by doing.

“Pick your shots, don’t rush, don’t fuck about and aim for the one closest to you every time,” warned Nate. “Wait until they’re close enough that the spread will take them, even if your aim is a little off. Reload on the move as you displace. The benefit of the shotgun is that from close range, you pretty much can’t miss, so aim high and make sure each shell shreds a brainpan.”

I nodded, serious as chlamydia. Game face on.

“Wait,” said Theo. “What on earth are you doing?” He looked at the two shotguns in our hands, Nate checking over his like a pro, me trying not to giggle like a schoolgirl as I cracked the break action and popped two shells into the barrels.

“There are nigh on fifty undead outside the gate,” repeated Nate. “We’re going to clear them, and you hippies are coming to watch.”

“We are not!” declared Theo indignantly. The others began to voice their support of Theo.

Nate’s an easy-going guy most of the time. He huffs and puffs a lot and rolls his eyes out loud or shakes his head when I open my mouth, but generally he remains quite neutral.

I still remember the day I heard him for the first time, when I was strapped to that awful rack in McRapey’s bondage barn, and he warned the dirty old bastard not to go for his gun. His voice went glacial cold and scared the shit out of me because of its simple promise.

He went there again.

“Listen to me, you tree-fucking gimps,” he started, no hint of rage, no raised voice. Just cold. So fucking cold. The room froze, nobody daring to even breathe in case they drew his wrath. “Everything and everyone you’ve ever known or loved is gone. Gone. Dead. And if they’re not permanently dead, they’re shambling around, filled with rage for the living, with no concern other than tearing out your innards and adding you to their legion of death. You need to wake the fuck up and see how the world works now and understand what it is you’re up against. So, every single one of you is coming with me and Erin, and we’re going to open your gate and let the undead in, and then this slip of a girl and I are going to give them some buckshot to gargle with. Then I’m going to drive our truck in here and we’re going to sit down, have a meal, and get to know each other a little better. We’re going to be in each other’s pockets for a while.” He stared at each one of them in turn. “Questions?”

Incredibly, there was one.

Freya nervously put her hand up and Nate nodded for her to speak.

“Why let them in?” she asked timidly. “Why not just do it outside the gate?”

Nate had been prepared for a thoroughly moronic question—as was I in truth—but he softened a little at the surprisingly pertinent query.

“There is a mass of open space once the gate is opened,” he replied, his voice a little gentler. I guess even that block of granite could see Freya was the most fragile of them all. She clearly had anxiety issues, but by gods, she’d already shown more courage than the rest of them combined. Plus, Particles liked her, and he’s a good judge of character.

“If we go outside the gate, the space is cramped. Erin and I won’t have room to move a lot and these shotguns need reloading every two shots, so we need time and space to move. If things get out of control, I’ll go to the Glock at my hip, which has a faster rate of fire, but it’s too valuable a weapon and I don’t know when I’ll get a resupply, making it my last resort. Outside it’s just a narrow road with heavy foliage on either side. Erin and I can’t move safely in that space.”

“Plus, it’s all uphill from the gate to here,” I added. “That’ll slow their shamble a bit more and give us much needed time.”

Nate cocked an eyebrow in my direction, this time in approval.

I grinned. “High ground. It’s in all the movies.”

Again, just another little twitch of a smile. Every one of those feels like a fucking victory.

Nate nodded. “Okay then. Load whatever pockets you can with shells, bring a box out as a fall back. Erin, I’ll need you to open the gate and scamper back up. You’ll be faster than anyone here.”

“Her?”

Oh, Top Knot. You had to do it, didn’t you?

“I’m right here, potato-head,” I said. “But by all means, if you think you’re faster, be my guest and open the gate for the undead horde. Just make sure you don’t shit your pants and fall over, eh?” I gave him my sweetest, sickliest, most condescending smile. “Why don’t you put a little crystal up your butt to disperse all that negative energy, or wave some sage at them? I’m sure that will keep the demons at bay.”

“If you weren’t a girl,” he muttered.

I went from a sassy mouthed piss-taker to a raging ball of fury in a nanosecond.

“Don’t let me being a girl stop you, Potato Head!” I roared at him.

Freya’s hand went to her mouth to hide her amusement. Clearly, the top knot was a distinct turn off for her. I like that girl more the longer this goes on.

“Come on, you pin-dicked little gym-bunny!” I handed the shotgun to Nate, who took it without comment, as I got all British Kung Fu on spunk-trumpet. “Come on you fucker! Let’s have you!” I beckoned him on, affecting a Liam Gallagher cock-swagger as I sauntered towards him. “I will rip your fucking ears off and stick them in your fucking colon so you can hear me kicking your ass round the field! You’ll be trying to pick your pretty white teeth off the kitchen floor with broken fingers!”

Get me