Christmas to Come: a heartbreaking coming of age saga set in London's East End by Carol Rivers (best motivational novels txt) 📗

office again,' Bella insisted. 'I'll get something else. In a factory even, but never in an office.'

'But you had a decent job at Dixons. Not as good as mine at the PLA perhaps, but you got a fair whack all the same.'

Bella stared at him and laughed. 'You're only a guard at the docks, Ray. A glorified sentry standing outside a box is what it amounts to.'

'Charming, I must say. I don't hear you complaining when I spend all my hard-earned cash on you.'

'You mean a one-and-six ticket for a cinema seat?' Bella scoffed. 'I'll have you know it's like sitting next to an octopus trying to grab my knickers.'

He turned away. 'You can be really crude at times.'

'Well, it's true. And as I'm speaking my mind, would you care to enlighten me as to why you're being so grumpy about me packing in Dixons?'

He pulled a long face. 'You know why.'

'For crying out loud, Ray, I don't.'

'It's just that – ' He stopped, his eyes looking guilty.

'Go on, I'm listening.'

'Well, as I said, it was a good job, a very good job.'

'I know, it's engraved in capital letters on my forehead, Ray.'

'And we could've done things together, for the future, like.'

Bella frowned at him in the darkness of the car. 'For the future? What do you mean?'

'Bella, you're not making this easy.' He moved uncomfortably in the driver's seat. 'I'm nineteen this winter and I've been thinking a lot about next year. I've a got a steady job and we've been courting – '

'Courting?' Bella blinked her eyes in shock.

He nodded silently and she could see the whites of his eyes grow like saucers. 'Yes, more or less – '

'We've only been going out a few months,' she broke in scornfully. 'You're talking like it's been years!'

'We see each other regular every week,' he argued stubbornly. 'And if once or twice a week isn't courting, then I don't see what is.'

'We're just having fun,' Bella shrugged. 'Like people do when they're young.'

He said in a dry whisper, 'So you see a future for us, then?'

'I've never even thought about it.'

'But I have,' he answered her eagerly. 'I want to settle down. A man's got to make plans, know where he's going. And it'd probably take us a year or two to save up for a place of our own.'

'Please tell me you're joking, Ray.'

He shook his head slowly. 'Why should I joke about something so important as marriage? It's a big responsibility to take on a wife and have kids. I've discussed it with mum and dad and they said we could stay with them until we're on our feet. Course we'd have to be sensible about the wedding, not go too barking over it, but I didn't think you were the kind of girl to mind too much about a big do.'

Bella was speechless for the first time that day. What Ray had just said had eclipsed even Miss Conway's little gem.'I can't believe my ears,' she gasped softly. 'You're saying you've discussed me with your parents – marrying me and us living with them? And even having kids?' She pushed her hands over her face trying not to visualize the idea of producing babies that resembled their father and mother as closely as Ray and Dolly resembled theirs.

'What's the matter, are you feeling all right?' Ray leaned across and tried to take her into his arms.

She pushed him away. 'Don't touch me. You don't know what kind of person I am. You don't know anything about me.'

'I only said – '

'I know what you said.' She opened the car door and jumped out. 'I must've been mad to go out with you in the first place. I'll find my own way home.'

She slammed the door and began walking away her steps fast and furious as outrage stuck in her chest. She could just imagine the Taylors, all four of them, sitting at the table after tea and deciding whether or not she was a suitable match for their beloved son. What right had they to discuss her behind her back? What right had Ray to assume that she was the kind of girl to settle for what he had planned for his miserable future?

Suddenly the tears flowed down her cheeks and the night breeze dragged them into her hair. Everything was going wrong. She had lost her stupid job today and had just finished with her even more stupid boyfriend. She would have continued going out with Ray if only he hadn't opened his trap. The truth was Ray was just a stopgap in her life. He was as thick as two planks, a terrifying cross between his mother and his father. In a few years time he'd be planting cabbages and sprouts and bringing them home for his puppy-eyed children to stuff down their ping pong throats.

'Bella!' Ray caught up with her. 'Come back to the car and we'll talk.'

'No. I told you, it's over.'

'Not till you tell me why.'

'I'm not your type, Ray. Never have been.'

'I don't understand,' he complained angrily. 'What have I said? Aren't I good enough for you?' He stopped dead. A look of dismay on his face. 'It's that Micky Bryant, aint it?'

'This has nothing to do with Micky.'

'Are you seeing him?'

'What if I was? It's none of your business.' She tried to walk on but he pulled her back.

'You are, aren't you?'

'Let go of me, Ray.'

'He's no good Bella. None of the Bryants are. He's a womanizer and everyone on the island knows it.'

Bella pulled her arm free. 'You can just shut up about Micky because I'll tell you this for nothing. I don't care if he's got women crawling all over him, he's twice the man you are. And he never once tried it on with me like you did. And I'll tell you something else. If he had, I would have let him an' all!'

Ray stared at her. 'You little tramp!'

'What do you expect? This is Mary