Murder in the Mix Boxed Set 28-30: Cozy Mystery by Addison Moore (books for 7th graders .txt) 📗

Sadly, Evie is not kidding. Luke Lazzari, a notorious crime boss—who coincidentally Carlotta once dated—is the one who helped us track Evie down when we found out Cressida was hiding a child from Everett.

“Thanks, Evie.” Keelie sighs. “You know I actually feel better knowing that’s an option.”

“It’s not an option,” I’m quick to nip the mommy shanking in the bud. “I can’t believe grown women behave like that.”

“It’s true,” Lainey says, running her fingers through Josie’s feathery curls. “Having a baby is just a whole other world of responsibilities, and unfortunately some unsavory things come with it. But I’m sure you’re on top of things.”

“Like what things?” I’m almost afraid to ask because I’m one hundred percent certain I’m not on top of any of them.

“Like baby proofing your home.” Lainey shakes her head as if it were obvious. “Forest and I tackled that when I was four months along.”

Keelie nods. “Bear and I did that about the same time. He stopped all of his other projects and put our little Bear first.”

“So I noticed,” I say under my breath. At the pace he’s rebuilding my grandma Nell’s house, you’d think he was waiting for it to drop out of the sky miraculously. And knowing Bear, he just might be. “Wait a minute, I’ve just turned six months. That means I’m behind in the baby proofing department.”

Lainey and Keelie exchange a glance.

“Don’t worry.” Lainey waves it off. “You’ve practically got two husbands. I’m sure they can pound it out in half the time.”

Keelie angles her head my way. “As long as you’ve got your bag packed for the hospital, you’re still pretty on top of things.”

“What bag?” I look at them in horror.

“Really, Lottie?” Keelie inches back. “I would have thought you, of all people, would have your baby ducks all in a row. I mean, you’re a successful businesswoman. And you track down criminals in your spare time.”

Evie shakes her head. “Mom is way too busy hunting down killers to take care of an actual baby. I’m sorry, Mom, but it’s the truth.”

“All that is going to change,” I tell her before reverting to my bestie and my sister. “So what kind of baby proofing are we talking about? I don’t have any stairs or a basement, so I think that about covers it, right?”

“Pfft,” Lainey sputters out a laugh. “You’ve got to nail all your drawers shut, stick plastic doohickeys into every electrical socket, bubble wrap your coffee table, and create a UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) octagon in your living room. Don’t even get me started on getting all of the toxins under your kitchen sink to someplace where little hands can’t reach them. And you can never buy laundry detergent pods again.”

Carlotta slaps her hand on the counter. “You can lock up whatever you like, but you can’t take away my snacks.”

I stare long and hard at the woman who bore me.

I’m not even going to ask.

Keelie nods. “It’s all true. And don’t forget about that fancy knife set of yours, Lottie—the one you keep on the counter? I’d just flat out get rid of those.”

“Get rid of them?” I scoff at the thought. “Keelie, those are Swiss made blades. I spent more on that knife set than I did on my first car. Having the right knife means everything to someone who practically lives in the kitchen.”

“Keelie is right.” Lainey shudders. “I’ve seen those knives, Lot. They’re so sharp the baby could slice off all its fingers before it even realized what it’s done.”

“Geez!” Evie howls. “How could you have those in the house with me, Mom? Don’t you love my fingers?”

“Of course, I love your fingers, Evie.” I make a face at my sister for putting the disturbing visual into her mind and mine to begin with. “I don’t think I need to get rid of anything just yet. The baby is still firmly tucked in my belly.”

Carlotta clucks her tongue. “Not after that bawdy ballet you partook in last night.”

Evie chuckles. “Cressi-duh sent me this last night.” She holds out her phone to Lainey and Keelie, and I crane my neck to take a peek, too. “Check out my new screen saver.”

Both Keelie and Lainey let out a sharp cry, inciting every customer in this place to turn their heads our way. Lily comes running over and takes a peek herself.

It’s a clear shot of me hanging upside down with that red cable wrapped precariously around my ankle. My dress is down around my armpits, and my belly bulge and parachute panties are protruding for all to see.

“Knew it,” Lily says, making her way back to the register. “They should make procreating without a license illegal. I expected better from you, Lottie. I’d hate to think what would happen if Noah and Everett see that baby blasphemy taking place. I’d hide that from them if you know what side your Honey-Hollow-after-dark-loving is buttered on.”

“It’s too late,” I hiss. “Noah and Everett showed up and saw the whole thing.”

Another round of gasps ensues from the peanut gallery.

“And they’re angry, too,” I add.

“Wow.” Lily looks downright frightened for me. “And seeing that you live with Everett now, you’ve got nowhere to hide.”

“You can say that again.” I catch a glimpse of the time on Evie’s phone. “In fact, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in less than twenty minutes, and both Noah and Everett are going to be there. Evie, why don’t you come with me and be a buffer?”

“Sorry, Mom. This is my last week of school before Christmas break, and all of my teachers thought it would be a good idea to send me off with a big test on Friday. Dash is meeting me here. We’re going to stuff our faces with cream puffs and cram.”

I look out at the rest of the pool of prospective body shields.

Keelie stretches her arms. “Well, break’s over.