Toe to Toe (On Pointe Book 1) by Penelope Freed (comprehension books txt) 📗

just had coffee with Tyler, I don’t want any more. I’m going to go watch the littles with Ms. Parker.” Maybe I am a little more of a bitch than I like to admit.

With a choked sound, Hannah runs off after Lisa and Katy and I turn to find Ms. Parker inside.

Chapter 14 Hannah

How could she? My jaw aches from being clenched so tight. I’m trying to touch up my makeup but it feels like it’s just going to melt right off my face from the waves of heat radiating off my skin. How could she do this to me? She was just…just…sucking his face like a freaking vampire. And was he trying to touch her boobs? Another flash of heat washes over me at the thought and I grit my teeth against it.

Why did she even invite Tyler tonight? I blow an unsteady breath out my pursed lips and raise a shaking hand to put on a fresh coat of lipstick. My hand is shaking so badly, I’m afraid I’ll end up looking like a clown so I set the lipstick down and focus on pinning my tiara more securely instead. Every bit of calm I had conjured up earlier is gone, evaporated in the heat of my anger.

Lisa and Katy took me to the coffee shop around the corner, but other than asking for a black iced tea, I haven’t said a word since I walked away from Olivia in the parking lot. If I say anything right now, I’ll scream at the unfairness of it all. I need to be focused, to find every ounce of self-control and calm I can muster so I can concentrate on my dancing right now. I stare myself down in the mirror as I pin on my tiara, one or two pins hitting my scalp with more force than necessary, making me wince. Get it together Hannah, you’re mad at Olivia, not yourself. But I’m lying, I am mad at myself. I’m mad for letting this get to me. It’s not like them dating is new, it’s been weeks. I’m furious with myself for letting it still hurt this much. I have to get over it, Tyler isn’t important. It doesn’t matter that I still thought Olivia was my best friend. It doesn’t matter if today hurt worse than all the times I’ve seen them together at school. It shouldn’t matter that she invited him to watch her dance.

It definitely shouldn’t matter that they didn’t stay to see me dance. I swallow hard and fight the sting in my eyes. Tyler came to watch Olivia dance, not me. It doesn’t matter that I wanted him to see me too. That I just want him to see me.

This weekend is too important to let anything distract me from doing my best. Come on Hannah, focus on your goals. I close my eyes and bounce on my toes, shaking my arms like a boxer getting ready to fight. New York, New York, New York.

I keep mentally chanting to myself as I fix the false eyelash that was bothering me and make a second attempt to refresh my lipstick. I manage to apply it this time without making a complete mess. I tap some more powder over my face to keep it from being shiny and start getting my pointe shoes on.

“Hannah? Lisa? Girls, are you ready for open stage?” Ms. Parker appears in the doorway. “Anyone need help with a tutu?” she offers, noticing that neither of us is dressed yet.

“Ms. Parker, can you help me?” I ask, as I pull my delicate peach tutu out of it’s carry bag. I love the gold lace overlay that decorates the top of the tutu platter and the peach tulle ruffle stretching across my shoulders and back, accentuating my long neck. I pull off my pants and jacket and step into the tutu. I turn my back to Ms. Parker so she can start doing up the row of hooks and eyes. I grunt a little when she pulls hard to make it fit and blow all the air out of my lungs to squeeze my rib cage together to help her get it done up. Professional tutus are like corsets and don’t have any stretch in them. But once it’s on I feel like a dancer, like all my dreams are within reach. If I could wear a tutu every day of my life I would, no matter how uncomfortable they can be.

I put my jacket back on over the tutu and follow Lisa and Ms. Parker to the stage. I’m thankful that Olivia isn’t backstage this time. I try to push her from my mind so I can focus on my classical solos. We crowd in the wings until the curtains close and the MC announces a break for the judges and our open stage time begins. A crowd of Junior Division competitors stream past us now that they’re finished. Mae waves to us as she disappears with the crowd.

Lisa and I head for a patch of open space on the other side of the stage so we can practice. We take turns standing back to keep the space clear and running through the sections that make us nervous. Ms. Parker flits between us and some of the other teachers, offering quiet corrections, reminders and encouragement between chatting with her colleagues. Lisa is struggling with one of the steps in her Lilac Fairy variation, it’s really difficult because you have to step backwards into a double turn, then finish on one leg, the other one extended in a long diagonal on the floor.

My Aurora variation is first and doesn’t have any particularly tricky turns in it, it’s all about the delicate quality and suspension of each movement. Until this second, I was glad that I had the calmer of my two solos first. Unfortunately, I’m not feeling particularly delicate right now. I’m in the perfect frame of mind for my second solo,