Caught in Us (Caught Series Book 4) - Kacey Shea (e manga reader .txt) 📗

“Alicia.” I want to explain. I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, not after this perfect day. But I can’t because Matthew races away from the trains, over to a wall of stuffed animals, and begins pulling them down like it’s an Olympic sport.

“I’ll meet you outside,” she says without a backward glance, then pushes out of the store.

“Hey, buddy.” I make my way to Matthew, scoop him up, and balance him on my hip as I return the toys to their spot on the shelf. “How about we find one toy to take home? Only one. That sound good?”

“Good.” He nods. “Yes.”

I have no idea whether he understands, but his quick agreement brings a smile to my lips. We walk through the aisles and he entertains me by allowing me to hold him as we discuss a few options. Of course, the conversation is one-sided. Or rather, it is until we find our winner.

“Truck! Me!” he shouts, pointing at the mini monster truck. It’s lifted, with a tailgate that opens and shuts. I can already picture him playing with it in the dirt.

“You want this?” I pick it up and hand it to him.

His smile is wide and his little fingers curl around the toy as he hugs it to his chest.

It’s then I notice a mini fire truck tucked back on the same shelf. “Oh! Look at this.” I pull it out, pressing the button to make the lights flash and the siren sound. “Do you want this truck instead?”

Matthew hugs his monster truck tighter. Ouch. Not a fan of firefighters. That stings a little.

I set the red engine down and ruffle his hair. “That’s okay. We’ll work on you. The real rigs are more impressive anyway.” After I pay for the toy, we meet Alicia outside by my truck. I unlock the doors, and while I open the door to buckle Matthew in his seat, she settles into the passenger seat.

She doesn’t appear upset, but the fact she’s not said a word makes me feel as though I fucked up. I want to make it better but I don’t know how. I’m not entirely sure I’ve done anything wrong.

It takes less than two minutes into the drive before Matthew passes out from exhaustion. I nod at the rear mirror. “That didn’t take long.”

Alicia turns to look back, a soft laugh leaving her lips. “He always falls asleep in the car. Trains too.”

“I was like that when I was his age,” I say, reminded of stories my dad would tell.

Alicia is quiet, staring out her window so I can’t quite read her face.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I ask.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Hey.” I reach out and touch her arm. “Only truths, remember?” It’s something we promised a long time ago, and yes, she doesn’t owe me anything, but I want an open and honest relationship with the mother of my child. We both have work to do to rebuild that trust.

“You never came after me,” she whispers.

The accusation hits worse than an actual punch to the gut. “You told me not to.”

She turns in her seat, meeting my gaze at the next stop light. “I never expected you to listen.”

Damn. “That’s not fair.”

“It’s not. You’re right.” Her brows furrow and she blows out a shaky breath. “I thought if you stayed sober, you’d want to be with me, that you’d find a way to show me.”

“Why did you assume I wasn’t?” It hurts because she never even gave me a chance. Someone honks their horn, and I wince at my distracted state before hitting the gas to rejoin the traffic. This isn’t the best time to have a conversation, but I’m worried she won’t want to if I wait. “So, you expected me to fail?”

“No, that’s not it. Maybe a little.” She rubs at her temples. “I’m sorry, okay. I should have asked more questions after I left, but whenever I checked in with Jill or Callie and your name came up, it seemed things were still rough for you.”

I think of her friends. How hurt they were when she stopped calling and answering their texts. “You broke their hearts too, you know?”

“I know.”

“That was it for me, you know? I took that distance as a sign that you were done with all of us. That you had this new, exciting life in London and you wanted to move on. That maybe I built up our summer in my mind. That our time together meant more to me than it did to you.” My pulse races. My heart beats as though it’s about to come out of my chest, but I keep my tone even and voice low because the last thing I want to do is wake Matthew. “I get it. You never wanted to be with someone like me. I know the stats aren’t on our side.”

The silence stretches between us, the minutes passing painfully slow with each mile. Our truths settle like dust after an explosion. The realization that her absence for the last three years was all for nothing.

“I left a piece of my soul when I decided to leave,” she says softly as we pull onto her parents’ drive.

“Because this is your home?”

She waits until I pull to a stop. “Because I left it with you.”

I swallow hard, glancing in the rearview mirror at our sleeping child. “And you took a piece of me with you.”

Her sigh fills up the cab, sucking away the air. “I don’t know what to do here.”

“That makes two of us.” I meet her gaze, and the pain I find reflects my own. “He’s a really great kid.” I can only imagine how hard today was for her. He might have half my DNA but she’s been his sole parent for his entire life. I don’t know where we go from here. Or how I fit into the picture. I only know I want the opportunity to