How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

You receive a rich reward yourself when you candidly blurt one out.

Recently, at a party, I was chatting with an accountant, a dull one at that. (Apologies to accountants everywhere who must battle the unfair dull, pencil-pushing, green-eyeshades-wearing, number-crunching image!) As I was trying to break away from the tedious accountant, he looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Leil"—he used my name—

"you are the most fascinating woman I've ever met."

Whoa! Stop! Time out! My knees got weak. (Did I sense a little shooting through my veins?) PEA

"Who isthis man?" I thought. Suddenly the fellow became very interesting. In fact, I wound up having a lunch date with him the next week.

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As it turned out, the chap truly was dull, and the relationship went nowhere. But his killer compliment gave our relationship the best possible shot it had.

TECHNIQUE #40:

THE KILLER COMPLIMENT

Search for a unique quality in your Quarry, one so deep that most people wouldn't comment on it.

Then look your Quarry straight in the eye, use your Quarry's name, and knock his or her socks off with the killer compliment.

Just as black-belt karate grand masters register their fists as lethal weapons, killer complimenters should register their tongues as lethal weapons in making the kill with their prey. The killer

compliment is such a mighty missile, it should come with a user's manual. The user's manual would tell you to shoot out your killer compliment in one strong, sharp sentence, eye-ball to eyeball. If it goes on too long, you'll embarrass your Quarry. Deliver your killer compliment upon parting, as it will leave your Quarry speechless and only able to stammer, "Oh, gosh, thanks." (Don't worry, he or she will be back for more.)

Obviously, don't give more than one killer compliment to your Quarry in a given month.

Otherwise, you come across as obsequious and pandering. As in all compliments, make sure it is about something the recipient is proud of.

One time I was in a small play in which I portrayed eight different characters. I smugly thought, "What a flexible actress I am." The least impressive role, in my opinion, was when I portrayed a department store mannequin. In that skit, another actor did all the performing while he carried me around the stage like a frozen corpse. Sometimes a gushing audience member would come up to me after the show, grab my hand, and say "Oh, I loved you in that mannequin scene." How I hated

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that! Do you believe I developed hostile feelings against such well-meaning flatterers?

Make sure your praise supports your Quarry's self-image. Otherwise it backfires. For example, if you say to an actor, "It's wonderful how you memorized all those lines," or, to a dancer, "You looked so pretty in that costume," you have actually insulted their performances. Your well-intended praise goes kerplunk, and kerplunk compliments do nothing to ignite love.

Armed with these nine ego-massaging techniques, go forth now and capture your Quarry. Before using them, however, you must ask yourself one final question: "How susceptible is my particular Quarry to praise?" Let's explore that.

22

"Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?"

A dollar means less to a millionaire than it does to a pauper. And a compliment means less to someone who is used to being praised. If you are tracking extremely attractive Quarry or very accomplished Quarry, you must work harder and be more original in yo ur compliments. Such people are accustomed to being admired, so they pooh-pooh early praise.

A study showed that, although attractive people tend to discount early praise, physically less attractive people value it much more3.7 In fact, they're ravenous for your compliments. Trapped inside every plain-faced woman is a beautiful enchantress crying to be set free by your making her

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feel beautiful. Trapped inside every frog-faced man is a handsome prince waiting for you to kiss him with praise.

TECHNIQUE #41:

SHORT ON ASSETS? GO LONG ON PRAISE

Attractive and accomplished people are accustomed to praise, so compliments often have less value on the open market. Seek original praise for popular Quarry.

However, if your Quarry is not used to being praised, he or she is hungry for your words of appreciation, no matter how trite.

Feed your Quarry's ego the appropriate diet and watch his or her love grow.

Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous"

Here is a little pistol shot youmust use with everyone whether her face is plain or pretty, whether his accomplishments are trivial or triumphant. I call it thkenee-jerk compliment.

There are crucial moments when, if youdon'toffer a compliment, you will offend your Quarry. If he or she has just finished an accomplishment (made a big sale, taken a final bow after a performance, successfully negotiated a deal, cooked a great meal), ma ke sure the very first words out of your mouth relate to that just-completed triumph. At that moment, your Quarry is sure to have only one raging question in his or her mind: "How'd I do?" If you don't want to lose love points, you must first give your Qua rry an instantaneous knee-jerk compliment.

A friend once told me how disappointed he was in his girlfriend's reaction to a speech he gave for his industry's convention. Right after his talk, which had been a great success, he strutted back amidst the applause to take his seat next to his significant other.

The first thing she said to him was, "Wave to Page 151

Bill and Sue back there. We didn't know they were going to be here." Boom! What a letdown. Where was his well-deserved compliment?

A few moments later she did say, "You gave a great speech, sweetie," but it was too late. What a difference if she had first complimented his speech and then said, "By the way . . ."

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TECHNIQUE #42:

THE KNEE-JERK COMPLIMENT

After your Quarry's accomplishment, compliment immediately . The first syllables you utter must be the flattering answer to the unasked question, "How'd I do?"

One last caution on the knee-jerk compliment. Be sure your compliment shoots high enough. When in doubt, aim even higher. "Good job"