How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗

for one without pedigree papers, he better have some of the other superior qualities to make it a fair barter.

Studies show that the more qualities you bring to the bargaining table, the better you will do in love. The more your

WIIFM

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assets even out, the more apt you are to make someone fall in love with you. Equity theorists tell us the more equitable a romantic relationship is, the more likely it is to progress to marria3g8e.

What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner?

Proponents of the equity principle list six elements which are assets on the "open market" when lovers go husband or wife shopping.

1. Physical appearance

2. Possessions or money

3. Status or prestige

4. Information or knowledge

5. Social graces or personality

6. Inner nature

Researchers tell us that, in the happiest relationships, the partners are more or less equal in each of the above categories. If not, their qualities balance each other out across the board.

As an example, let us take category number one, physical appearance. Studies all over the world (the United States, Canada, Germany, Japan) show that men and women usually wind up marrying people who are just about as attractive as they are. A group of psychologists observed young couples at social events and rated their appearance on a scale similar to the now-legendary 1–10 rating scale popularized by the film10.39 They found that 60 percent of the couples were separated by only one point on the scale, and 85 percent were separated by two points or less.

I decided to put these findings to my own informal test. For several weeks, everywhere I went—to the movies, to the mall, to parties, to restaurants—I watched husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. On a scale of one to ten, I rated their appearance. Never were they more than two points apart! Try it.

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Researchers tell us if a couple is not equal in thesamecategory, usually their assets across the list even out. For example, how often, walking down the street, have you passed a stunning women on the arm of a pinch-faced, much-older man? What was your first thought? Admit it, you probably said to yourself,

"Gosh, he must be really rich." You see a handsome man walking with his arm around a very plain woman and you muse, "Gosh, she must have a great personality." That's the equity, or horse-trading, principle at work. It can't be denied. Good looks, lots of money, and high social status are definitely legal tender in the acquisition of love.

Back in the 1930s several Oakland, California, educators observed fifth- and sixth-grade girls cavorting on the playground. They rated the little girls according to their looks. About twenty years later, a sociologist got hold of the results of the old study and tracked down the young women to find out what kinds of husbands they had married. The researcher found that the prettier the girl, the "better"

she had done in securing a mate. The more attractive girls had gotten richer and more powerful husbands.

The less attractive girls had not done so well.

Does this mean our face is our fortune? Well, with minor changes we must go through life with the same mug. Fortunately, that's not the only currency with which we buy love. A pleasant personality, courteous social graces, and knowledge or information that your partner can benefit from also give you points.

Throughout this book you can find techniques to magnify the qualities that make your Quarry fall in love with you. In the cases of those attributes that can't be genuinely greatly enhanced (such as your looks, your money, and your prestige), I offer you techniques to enhance his or heprerception of them.

Before exploring methods to manipulate perceptions, however, let's get a reality check on how beautiful, how rich, or how powerful you really want your partner to be if your goal is, as I assume, to find happiness in love.

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Here is a surprising truth—all the studies support it.

Your chances of finding and keeping true love are even better if you don't marry someone drop-dead gorgeous, filthy rich, or a prince or princess.

Why? Because balanced benefits make happy campers , especially in the long run. People are happier when their assets equal out. Let's peel back a few layers on the equity principle and get a reality check on how much you want to manipulate it. Then, if you still do, I'll show you how.

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Find Love?

You Really Don't Want to Marry the

Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess Practically every young American girl of my generation tucked the covers daintily around herself every night dreaming of the handsome prince who was someday going to come riding by on his white horse. He would, of course, fall madly in love with her and scoop her up, and they would live happily ever after.

The prince didn't always have to be a handsome Prince. He could be a rich Prince, a wonderfully kind Prince, or a strong and sensitive Prince. Perhaps, we dreamed, our prince would be a poet, or an artist, or maybe a famous actor Prince. As we grew older, our dream didn't change. We simply expandedthedefinitionofprince.Hecouldbeaninternati onallyesteemeddoctor,abrilliant ,a CEO

Silicon Valley sage, or a state governor. But, whatever role we cast him in, he was the prince.

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Huntresses, maybe even now you still believe that someday your prince will come. Well, guess what?

He may come. But, when you see the results of the studies on love, you'll realizyeou don't want to him to come ! Women, if it's happiness you

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seek, you don't want to marry the handsome prince.

Men, you don't want to marry the beautiful princess.

Sour grapes? Not at all. Unless you were born in a royal crib—unless you are equally beautiful, equally rich, equally accomplished—life with a prince or princess would be inequitable. Therefore, you would be miserable.

"No," you may protest. "If I married someone better looking, richer, more accomplished—for simplicity let's just saybetter —if I married someone better than me, I'd be thrilled." Yes, the studies tell us, but not for long. The equity theory proves you'd