Restart Again: Volume 1 by Adam Scott (motivational books for women TXT) 📗

multiple lives at once. I was daydreaming, sleeping lazily under a tree with Amaya. I was curled up by the fire with Alda, hiding from the bitter cold outside.

Lia’s voice caught me a moment before I was gone. “Lux?” I couldn’t see her face, but her voice cracked as she continued, and I realized she was crying. “Lux, I’m so sorry...you wouldn’t be hurt if it weren’t for me. You don’t even know me, but you risked your life to help, and I...I can’t ever repay that debt to you.” She squeezed me tightly, her head nestling up under my chin. “Are you going to be okay?”

Softly, I wrapped my arms around her and returned the hug. “You don’t owe me anything.” The words were almost a whisper. “You’re a...good person, Lia. I couldn’t have lived with myself...if I didn’t help you.” My eyes closed, and I knew they wouldn’t open again for a long time. “I’m going to be...fine. I just need...some sleep.”

She let out a stifled sob and nodded into my chest. “Okay. I’ll take care of you...I promise.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Lia.” My energy left me all at once, and I fell into a deep sleep.

---

Pain and darkness. Those two things were the entirety of my world. How long had it been? Time was meaningless in darkness, and pain could warp time any way it chose. It felt as though every molecule of my body was splitting apart, filling every inch of me with a torment I had never even imagined could exist.

How did I get here? What even was...here? Had there been anything before this? It was difficult to think. After an unknowably long time, my brain began to cope with the pain. It wasn’t diminished in any way, but I found some small corner of my mind to hide in, somehow thinking in tandem with it.

There was a before. I had been sitting at my desk, working on my computer. I was alone, as usual, listening to music in the dark as I stayed up far too late for my own good. No, that couldn’t be right. If that was right, how did I get here? To this world of pain and darkness? Had there been a flash of light, or a burst of noise? I couldn’t remember; it had found me again, and it punished me for thinking. It didn’t like when I existed and sought to remedy that immediately.

More time passed. It felt as though my body were dissolving away into the darkness, and the pain surpassed my physical form. I could feel it everywhere now, not just in my body. I was just void and agony, nothing more. The idea of escaping from this place was useless now; I hadn’t had control of my body when it had first started, and now, I wasn’t sure I even had one.

My mind tried to convince me that it didn’t hurt anymore, that this is what existence felt like, and that it wasn’t truly pain any longer. That’s when the darkness morphed into a new beast. It was similar to the heat of a fire, except I could feel it everywhere, and it was blazing so hot that I should have burned away to dust. Except I was darkness, and darkness can’t burn.

The cycle continued, my world changing every time my mind tried to adapt. Eventually, I gave up and accepted life for what it was: Pain and darkness. It suffused my essence, and, in a way, it gave me peace. That’s when the world changed again.

The darkness was gone, replaced with abstract morphing colors and shapes. The pain was gone, and I could feel my body again, every piece back where it should have been, seemingly unharmed. I felt like I was falling, tumbling end over end through this new reality. My stomach was lurching as my brain tried to reconcile some sort of horizon, but the light was too bright, and nothing stayed in place for long enough. Wind was raging at my ears, screaming louder than anything I had ever experienced.

I closed my eyes and clamped my hands over my ears, trying to block out all sensation. Spinning blindly, my disorientation amplified and I wretched, spitting up bile and stomach acid. Perhaps this was just another trick, and the pain and darkness would return to catch me off guard. In a way, I longed for the known evil over the unknown terror.

In a flash so bright it blinded me through my closed eyelids, everything changed again. The world wasn’t spinning anymore, and I felt a hard impact along the front of my body. It was comfortably warm now, and I could smell grass and dirt around me. Somewhere nearby, I heard a man screaming. Perhaps, I wasn’t alone in this experience after all. As my senses slowly returned to me, I realized that the screaming was close by, and the voice was somehow familiar. It was my voice, and I was screaming so loud I tasted blood.

My eyes opened, revealing a shockingly normal scene before me. I was lying in a field of grass. The sky was bright blue with a few puffy white clouds and a shining sun. Somewhere ahead I could see trees swaying in a gentle breeze, multi-colored flowers ringing their trunks. In the distance, metal struck metal in a rhythmic cadence.

I tried to sit up, but my body was shaking violently. Although the pain was gone, my mind could still remember it, and it paralyzed me with fear that this pleasant reality could be ripped away again in an instant. “HELP!” I screamed out in vain, hoping that somebody would find me. My voice carried out over the field, fading into nothing in the wind.

After a time, my trembling lessened, and I was able to clamber to my feet. Not too far behind where I stood, I saw a wooden palisade with a large gate, currently open. Faint sounds of a crowd floated towards me, along with the continued