Jealousy Junction by Cathryn Grant (rosie project .txt) 📗

had no clue what that wink was supposed to be saying. I didn’t want to know badly enough to consider asking her later.

Jerry shrugged. “Who knows.”

“Well, can you live on it?”

“I do alright.”

She nodded. “You don’t have any dreams?”

“Do you?” He asked.

I loved him for that. Jerry was good at turning rudeness back on other people. He got that a lot—people acting like he was sub-par because he didn’t have a hot-shot career. But he wasn’t sub-par, not at all. He was the most wonderful guy I’d ever been with—sweet and kind and intelligent and very astute about human nature. And he was a good listener.

He proved that now as he slowly drew forgotten dreams out of my sister.

“I always wanted to get into painting ceramics,” she said. “I’ve always loved beautiful things.”

Jerry nodded. “It’s hard to make a living as an artist, but if you want something badly enough, anything is possible, right?”

Tanya sighed. “That’s what they say.”

Jerry looked into his wineglass. He spoke in a softer voice, almost as if he were embarrassed to speak too loudly for fear of jinxing himself or making himself look foolish. “I like to paint. Watercolor. Wildlife.”

They talked on about art, Tanya softening around the edges as she told him things I’d never heard, as she exposed a real, caring, longing human being inside her sharp outer shell. Someone I hadn’t seen since we were little girls.

I went into the kitchen and opened another bottle of wine. I suggested we move to the comfort of the living room. I cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, and they were still talking. I joined them, splashing some wine into my glass and taking a sip.

They talked with more animation now, their voices rising, their hands waving around in the air as they described their dreams and the kind of art that inspired them.

At first, I smiled, glad they were connecting. Then, I thought of all the years my sister had refused to talk to me, and I felt a pinch of jealousy. Why was she talking so freely to him? Why had she been so cold to me until just a few hours earlier when she needed a place to stay?

I felt slightly off-balance as if my world was shifting sideways, ready to tilt like a falling table, spilling everything onto the floor, breaking dishes, and splattering wine.

And then, I realized Jerry was more talkative than usual as well. I could feel myself shrinking. I wondered if they would even notice if I left the room. I was overcome with envy, hating myself as it spread through my heart, flaming out of control.

Chapter 3

Finally, we all went to bed, corking the bottle half full. Jerry and Tanya had gotten so caught up in their conversation, turning to face each other as their words flowed, they left their unfinished glasses on the coffee table.

In bed, I forced myself to push my jealous feelings to the side. I wasn’t going to let crazy, childish sibling rivalry get control of my emotions. Usually, things like that are half in your head anyway, and I’d had enough relationships to know that jealousy can eat away at the foundation. Fast. Especially when the other person thinks it’s unfounded.

Jerry was naked beside me, moving close, searching for my lips with his.

I responded, letting my bare flesh melt into his. Soon, thoughts of my sister dissolved, and I thought only of him. That was how it should be, and it satisfied my heart as well as my body.

Except the minute we were finished, holding each other, only Jerry was drifting to sleep. My eyes flashed open, and my brain started trudging back through the previous few hours, re-imagining every gesture, every laugh, every glance, every single word.

Had my sister been flirting with my boyfriend after all?

It was hard to say. She was naturally a flirty person. She was pretty much that way around everyone—even other women. Her behavior that evening hadn’t been any different from the sister I’d experienced most of my life until she cut me out of hers, but before that, back when we were close.

Worse, was Jerry drawn to Tanya more than to me?

I couldn’t be sure. I hadn’t known him long enough to read between the lines. At the same time, I did know he wasn’t the kind of guy who pretended to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t the kind of guy with a hidden agenda. I was mostly sure he was just being friendly, welcoming her.

I’d heard the overly detailed story of Tanya’s breakup with Jake, but I still wasn’t clear on why she’d come running to me. I supposed she’d moved out of the condo they’d rented after selling my parents’ home. But Tanya had a lot of friends. A lot of very close, supportive friends. Why had she chosen me? And what had happened to all that money she should have made on the sale of our family home?

Did she really want to reconnect? Did she deeply regret how she’d cut me out of her life? I fervently wanted that to be true.

I turned onto my side, and still, my mind raced, trying to answer questions that were impossible to answer without involving the other person. I tried to close my eyes. I rolled onto my back. That didn’t help at all.

Memories from the past came rushing at me as if they’d been hovering along the edges of the ceiling, waiting for me to turn my face toward them so they could invade my head. I remembered Tanya stopping by once a week to see Dad when he was dying. She never stayed long. She breezed in, talked non-stop, rarely asking how he was feeling, and left without offering him even a kiss on his cheek. It seemed as if she was afraid she would catch cancer from him. She was definitely afraid of letting him talk, not wanting to hear about what it was like to be standing so