Off the Record by Camryn Garrett (korean novels in english .TXT) š
- Author: Camryn Garrett
Book online Ā«Off the Record by Camryn Garrett (korean novels in english .TXT) šĀ». Author Camryn Garrett
Penny and maybe Marius.
Maybe it isnāt fair that Iām avoiding him right now, but I donāt feel like being fair. Iām angry. Actors who work with Lennox have to sign nondisclosure agreements, but Iām sure there are stories swirling around. There have to be, if Penny and Julia know other women Lennox has hurt. Marius must have heard something.
I want to know why Marius would even consider working with Lennox when there are so many stories. If I got an offer to be in his movieāwhich I wouldnāt, but stillāI would say no. Even if it meant that I didnāt get to be famous.
āThatās not really fair, though,ā Alice says after I explain all of this to her. āBecause you arenāt an actor. Acting isnāt your big thing, but it is for him. You donāt really care like that.ā
āI care!ā
āI mean,ā Alice says, ānot like an actual actor does, though.ā
Sheās already dressed, wearing this fancy black dress thatās so low-cut you can tell she isnāt wearing a bra. Itās really hard not to be jealous of Aliceās body sometimes. She has curves, but in the right placesāher hips and her ass and her boobs look the way theyāre supposed to. Or the way girls on TV and in magazines look, anyway.
I, on the other hand, am half dressedāwhich means Iām sitting on my bed in my underwear and have not actually put any real clothes onāmy stomach and boobs and thighs too big for me to ever look like her, unless I dig the Spanx out of my suitcase. I pout.
āI guess,ā I say. āBut itās likeā¦if a gigantic magazine gave me the opportunity to write a cover on Ava DuVernay or something, but I knew the editor of the magazine had done horrible things to women, I wouldnāt be able to say yes. Iād feel too shitty about it.ā
āBut thatās a hypothetical,ā Alice says, leaning toward the mirror to put on an earring. āYou say that now, but youād probably say something different if you actually were faced with it.ā
āI donāt think itās that hard to say you wonāt work with bad people.ā
āItās not a contest, Josie,ā Alice huffs. āIām just saying that not everything is black and white.ā
I stare at the bedspread. Sure, not everything is black and white, but thereās a difference between working with someone who mightāve done something normal badālike made a nasty commentāand someone who consistently harms other people. Yet I canāt help but wonder whether Iād feel differently if I were in Mariusās shoes. I donāt know. I still think I would choose not to work with them. I still think I can be mad at Marius about it.
Alice tosses a skirt at me, covering my head. I grunt.
āHurry up,ā she says. āI told Savannah weād get there early.ā
Everyone else at the party looks like they just stepped off the runwayāgowns of soft red and black and green paired with elegant high heels. Iām wearing a black skirt, because Alice made me, and a yellow blouse. Thatās it. I immediately stick out.
āGod, where were you?ā Savannah says to Alice, appearing next to her in a cute red dress. āYou said you were getting here early.ā
I think Iām staring too long at her legs. The hard thing about being attracted to girls is that Iām never sure if I want to be them or be with them.
āJosie took forever,ā Alice says, an eye roll in her voice. āItās whatever. Whereās the open bar?ā
āIn the other room,ā Savannah says, pointing down a dimly lit hall. Everything here is wooden floors and warm, dim lighting and the gentle murmur of polite conversation. āYouāre missing a rousing debate about which movie is Cassavetesās best.ā
āOh,ā I say. This I can do. āObviously A Woman Under the Influence.ā
āThatās what you would think!ā Savannah says, turning to me. āBut then one guy said Faces, and now no one will shut up.ā
āOkay.ā Alice stares between the two of us. āThis is big nerd talk. Savannah, letās find the bar, and Iāll tell you about this gorgeous guy I saw on the High Line.ā
Savannah grins at me and I grin back. I like talking about moviesāor filmsāwith other people. I donāt feel like Iām the only one who cares about them.
āIs Josie coming with us?ā she asks, looking at me.
āJosie is underage,ā Alice points out helpfully.
Savannah shrugs. āSo are we.ā
āYeah, but Josie is technically working,ā Alice says, already walking toward the next room. āAnd we are not.ā
I wish I had a great comeback prepared, but I donāt. The truth is, I donāt want to hit up the open bar. I donāt even want to be here in general. I smile at Savannah as she follows Alice down the hall, trying to think of things I could include in my article. There will probably be speeches at some point that I can quote from. Iām sure it would be wise toā¦mingle? The only thing is, Iām not great with small talk, especially with people I donāt know.
At parties, Iām usually the person standing against the wall, watching as everyone else has fun. And itās pretty much my own faultāafter all, I could trail around after my sister and Savannah if I wanted to. But in some ways, itās easier to be here by myself. Itās something I can handle.
I only recognize a few people in the roomāa few New Yorkābased directors of the indie variety, an actor or two. Itās weird to see celebrities in real life. Itās like they arenāt supposed to exist off a screen. Thereās one woman in particular who catches my eye. I know her from somewhere. Then she turns her head and I recognize her immediately. She looks perfect: straight blond hair, blue eyes, a movie-star smile. Tallulah Port.
Sheās one of
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