To Dare a Rogue - Lana Williams (novels for beginners TXT) 📗

keep your balance while standing on a galloping horse?” Charlotte laughed at the thought. “The horses look so proud when they’re performing, don’t they?”

“My favorite was the clown,” Miss Weston added with a smile. She pressed a hand to her middle. “I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in an age.”

Miss Weston led the way out of the box, but James drew Charlotte back, giving them a brief moment of privacy. “Thank you for joining me.”

“Thank you for suggesting it.” She looked up at him, wishing she could say more. Did he understand how much these outings meant to her?

She bit her lip, for that wasn’t quite true. It was the fact that he was with her that mattered. Yet she could imagine the regret that would fill his expression if he realized how much she was coming to care for him. Though she hoped he saw more than his friend’s younger sister when he looked at her and he seemed to enjoy their time together, it wasn’t as if his affection ran any deeper than that.

No doubt he merely found their friendship a diversion—one of many in which he took pleasure. Much like Edward, he didn’t seem to be in any rush to marry. Why should he? He’d missed so much while serving in the army. He deserved the chance to enjoy himself for a time before he moved forward with his life.

But for her, time was running out.

Lord Samuelson was calling on her again on the morrow, and they were to go for a ride in Hyde Park in his phaeton. She didn’t look forward to it. Making conversation with the lord was painful. No matter how many times she told herself to make the best of it, she couldn’t. Not when it felt so wrong.

“What is it?” James asked.

She forced a smile. Now wasn’t the time to think of such things. She needed to enjoy these moments as much as possible.

“If you—” he began, only to pause at the sound of a throat clearing.

They both glanced over to see Miss Weston standing in the doorway of the box, waiting.

If you what? Charlotte was left to wonder what he’d been about to say as they followed Miss Weston out of the theatre. Progress was slow given the size of the crowd.

“Will you be attending the Sorenson garden party tomorrow afternoon?” James asked when they reached the pavement outside.

“No,” she said with great reluctance. “I—I have a previous engagement.” She didn’t want to mention with whom.

He frowned and for a moment, she thought he might ask for details. But he said nothing more as they waited for the carriages to arrive.

Her heart ached as they stood in silence, together but apart, as other conversations flowed around them. The moment made her reconsider the wisdom of her adventures. When her heart hurt this much when she was with him, would it be wise to discontinue these outings? They only made her long for what could never be.

When her carriage arrived to take her and Miss Weston home, she turned to James, her voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for the invitation.” She held his gaze, a lump in her throat preventing her from saying more.

“The pleasure was mine.” His solemn expression hid his thoughts.

She watched Miss Weston enter the carriage then turned back to James. “I’m not certain I’ll be able to see you again.”

“I understand.” He showed no emotion, no disappointment at her words. Nor did he protest. That alone hurt.

Even though it felt as if her heart was shattering, she held the hurt inside and followed Miss Weston into the carriage without looking back.

“Is anything amiss?” Miss Weston asked once they were settled inside.

“No. All is well.” She didn’t want to speak about it. Perhaps James was right—talking about problems didn’t solve them. Sometimes it only made one feel worse.

~*~

Two days later, James entered his parents’ drawing room to find not only his mother but his father there as well. He glanced at his father, wondering at his presence. “Good afternoon.”

His mother frequently invited him for tea, suggesting she didn’t think he’d stop by otherwise. Sadly, she was probably right. Spending too much time with them only made him realize how much he’d changed over the past few years.

Added to that was the way they both watched him closely. He didn’t care for the pressure he felt to act as if nothing was wrong and that he hadn’t changed when it was far from the truth.

“We’re so pleased to have you,” his mother said with a smile as he kissed her soft cheek, her lavender scent bringing back comforting memories and wrapping him in a warm embrace. He drew it in.

“Father.” He placed his hand on Lord Redmond’s shoulder before he could stand. “No need to rise.”

His father smiled and patted James’ hand where it rested on his shoulder. “Good to have you join us. Tell us what you’ve been up to of late.”

James took his customary chair, sorting through what he could share. There were topics he’d prefer to tell only his father and other ones better told to his mother. Many he didn’t want to tell either. What could he say that fit them both?

“It was nice to see Aunt Prudence doing so well.” That should be a neutral enough subject. “Her gardens are even more pleasing than I remembered.”

“They are her passion,” his mother said. “Though I worry she works too hard to make them perfect.”

James hid a smile. If he didn’t know better, he’d think a twinge of envy colored his mother’s tone. She didn’t enjoy gardening nearly as much as her sister yet often remarked how she wished their garden was larger.

“I noticed you had a rather lengthy conversation with Lady Charlotte at the garden party.” Lady Redmond paused as the butler brought in tea and a platter of biscuits and iced cakes.

James noted his favorites among the offerings and would’ve preferred to focus on the refreshments rather than his