a Pleasure Rites, #1 by Ines Johnson (top ten books of all time TXT) 📗

"Out," she heard him say. "All of you. Out."

He spoke quietly, but his voice resonated, brooking no argument.

From her place buried in his neck, Chanyn heard the shuffling of feet passing her by.

"Lady Merlyn," she heard Khial say. "You're welcome to return whenever it pleases you."

Chanyn couldn't see her cousin's response, but felt certain she would be seeing Merlyn sometime soon.

Chanyn didn't know how long she stayed wrapped up in Khial. She kept her focus on his strong arms, the soft cushion between his neck and shoulder, the strong beat of his heart. He was the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Finally, Chanyn broke away from him. They were alone, just the two of them.

"Promise me—" Chanyn had to stop, clear her throat and try again. "Promise me you won't leave me again." It took courage to beg. Chanyn had no fear facing down a wild animal, but a pair of greedy humans proved a far different story. She never wanted to face the beasts on her own again.

Khial hesitated.

Chanyn went on. "I know I'm not him. I'll never be what he was to you. But you and I are the only two people who loved him. And now his child grows inside me. I can't do this alone. I mean, I could, but I don't want to. I don't want this child to grow up without its father, like I did. I want it to have a loving home, like Dain did. I don't know what that looks like. You do."

Khial looked at her, helpless. "I always felt like a guest here."

She clasped his hands in her own. It wasn't like in the romance novels where the lady's hands were dainty and the man had large paws. Both Chanyn and Khial had strong, callused, capable hands. "We could do it together. We don't have to be true bonded mates in the physical sense if you don't wish it. But we could be the parents we never had."

Khial looked at her doubtfully, but Chanyn could see a slight flicker in his eyes. "You'd trust me with a child?"

Chanyn frowned. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Don't you know about my parents?"

"I know they made bad decisions and hurt one another. My mother was not an ideal parent either. But we don't have to be them. I trust you. You've always been honest with me. You were distant because you didn't know me and you were trying to protect Dain. But I don't think for a second that you would hurt anyone or anything. For Goddess sake, you could barely handle a boar."

Khial's bark of laughter took them both by surprise. He looked down at her midsection and then into her eyes.

"I don't know what kind of father I'll be," he said. "But I promise I won't leave you again."

Chanyn heaved a sigh of relief. She was hugging him again before she realized he might not like it. But he gave no resistance.

24

Jian knew that Lord Khial's eviction didn't extend to him, but he left the room nonetheless.

He'd kept a steady hand on the young lord the whole way home. Only moments ago, the man could barely make it up the steps to his home. Ghosts lived in those sky blue eyes. Jian didn't feel an ounce of jealousy, bitterness, or regret when Chanyn ran into Lord Khial's stiff arms. Instead, he wanted to instruct Lord Khial on how to hold her properly. That she liked it when you rested a firm hand at the small of her back. That she'd become entirely pliable if you placed a second hand at the base of her neck.

But Jian held silent. Instruction was no longer his trade. He'd promised the rest of his life to the Goddess, away from her daughters and the men who aimed to please them.

Jian walked down the hall with the same heavy steps that Lord Khial marched up them.

"You're not staying the night?" The manservant, Rianald, materialized before him.

Jian kept his back to the staircase that led to the sleeping quarters. He shook any last desire from his head.

"You have honored this house," Rianald bowed. "You have done well for this family. I'm sure the Lady Darlyn smiles on you alongside her son from their place with the Goddess."

Jian's mouth wouldn't work to respond. He bowed.

He stepped outside the front door of the house into the windless day. A pressure pushed him backwards as he stepped over the threshold. Jian pushed his way on and heard raised voices.

"That girl needs serious guidance!"

At the base of the stairs stood Lady Angyla and her daughter Lady Merlyn.

"Marrying the son of murderers and the son of pornographic actors." Lady Angyla spotted Jian and her face soured even more. "And cavorting with sex workers."

Jian looked away.

A conveyance pulled up to the curb and a manservant hopped out to take Lady Angyla's hand. She glanced back at the house with disgust. "That girl is a lost cause. Come along Merlyn."

But Lady Merlyn hesitated. She turned to Jian and climbed one step.

"You're a..." The lady leaned in and whispered. "A Pleasure Hound?"

Jian wasn't quite sure if he should answer after her mother's admonishment. He bowed his head.

Lady Merlyn climbed two more steps. "Do you happen to know a hound by the name of Jaspir?"

Jian did know that name. "Yes, my lady. I trained with him."

She took the remaining steps until she stood level with Jian. "So, he's still... at the temple?"

"No, my lady. Jaspir did not take the vows. For a Pleasure Hound to take the vows his heart must be free. You cannot serve the Goddess and man. A hound is only the vessel of the Goddess, to be used by her. Jaspir's heart belonged to another."

Lady Merlyn's golden-brown eyes brightened, reminding Jian of Chanyn's. "Because of love?"

"Yes, my lady."

Lady Merlyn's hand rose to her lips, then hovered at her heart.

"Did you know Jaspir?"

Lady Merlyn nodded, her smile brightened her face. Again, Jian saw the family resemblance. "He was my friend." And then