How To Rape A Straight Guy by Sullivan, Michel (phonics reader .TXT) š
Book online Ā«How To Rape A Straight Guy by Sullivan, Michel (phonics reader .TXT) šĀ». Author Sullivan, Michel
I got in early -- well, about ten pm. I didnāt want to do anything āfore the eleven oāclock news, so it wouldnāt make headlines till tomorrow. So I stopped near my momās house. She was livinā in Altadena, north of the 210, with her shit of a husband. But I didnāt care about that; I was lookinā for my little brother.
Last Iād heard, heād be graduatinā from college right around then. Itād taken him five years. Mom anā the SOBād made him work his way through; their ārealā kids took preference. I just wanted to see if heād made it. But no way was I gonna knock on that door. No fuckinā way. So I sat there anā waited. Anā hoped heād happen to show up anā send me a sign or somethinā on how he was doinā.
Funny, my wantinā that. Weād talked about crap like that the last time I really saw him. I mean, weād talked on the phone a couple times -- when he answered it instead of my mom or the SOB. But I hadnāt really talked with him since just before I was sent to Mid-State. Shit, almost eight years ago.
It was just before my trial. He was fifteen. At a bus stop, on his way home. Iād been waitinā for him, anā when he saw me drive up, he wasnāt surprised.
āHey,ā was all he said.
āHey. Howās it goinā?ā
āItās goinā. You cominā to see mom?ā
āFuck that. I just wondered -- well, you wanna grab a bite or somethinā? Iām payinā.ā
āSure.ā
He hopped in the car anā we hit an āIn anā Out Burgerā just down the road. He wolfed down a double with fries anā four refills on Dr. Pepper.
āShit, donāt mom feed you?ā I asked.
āHealthy shit,ā he said with a shrug. āCrap that tastes like cardboard. But the girls love it since thatās all they know.ā
āTheyāll learn. Listen, I...uh, I may be gone for a while. Three years, maybe. Dependinā on how things go.ā I was a real optimist, back then.
āOh.ā
āDidnāt want you to think I forgot you.ā
āYou want me to come visit?ā
God, he was a sharp kid. āThey wonāt let you without mom, anā she wonāt let you.ā
āOkay. Iām sorry.ā
āMe, too.ā
We sat quiet for a while, then I asked, āHowās school?ā
āOkay.ā
āYou think youāll go on to college?ā
He grinned. āIām already workinā on it. Doinā an AP.ā I mustāve given him a full blank stare, ācause he added, āThatās Advanced Placement. Good for college credit.ā
āShit. You always were smart.ā
He shrugged. āI figured itās necessary. Sort of a preemptive strike. Mom let me know, all Iāll get is room anā board if I go on. Thisāll cut the cost.ā
āFuckinā bitch.ā
He shrugged.
āSo youāre goinā on, then.ā
He nodded. āI like English. Lit. I mean, all lit. Literature. Iām thinking I might write. Maybe work at a paper or some online news, something like that. Who knows?ā
āYou wonāt let nothinā stop you, right? Right?ā
He just looked at me then focused on the last of his fries. They were swimminā in ketchup in the little cardboard holder. He picked some out anā licked āem off his fingers. Anā suddenly I was hit by how good-lookinā he is. Sandy hair. Dark eyes. Clean face. Startinā to fill out, just I did at that age. All of a sudden, I hurt for him.
āI mean it. Donāt let anything stop you. Not momās shit. Not that son-of-a-bitch she married. Nothinā.ā
I was close to cryinā.
He looked at me. āYāknow, weāre studying Russian literature, right now. Short stories, mainly. By Chekov. Heās all about man trapped in his fate, so no matter what he does, he canāt escape it.ā
āYou believe that?ā
āI dunno.ā
āYou know what I think? I think we got more control than we think. But weāre too dumb or too lazy or too lost in stupid shit to see it. Me, every time Iām about to fuck up, a little bell goes off in my head anā this voice says, ādonāt do it.ā Anā every time Iāve done my crash anā burn, itās been when I tell that voice to fuck off. So you -- you got that voice in you?ā
āSometimes.ā
āListen to it.ā
āOkay.ā
āNo, promise me youāll listen to it! Please! Please.ā
He finished his fries anā slugged down the last of his DP. āThanks for the meal.ā
I knew I was pushinā too hard, so I just said, āItās nothinā.ā
I drove him up the hill to about a block from the house. As he was gettinā out, I said, āYāknow -- youāre gonna be okay.ā
He looked at me. āWill you?ā
The question shot right through me. Heās the only person who ever asked me that. The only one who ever really honestly gave a shit. Anā I didnāt have any answer. All I could do is shrug. He just nodded. Nothinā more to be said.
I watched him trudge up the hill to where he lived -- I refuse to call that fuckinā place a home. He didnāt look back. Didnāt wave. Nothinā. Just walked into the house.
So there I was, just down the street, waitinā for -- shit, hopinā for a final glimpse of him. Waitinā for somethinā to show me how heād done.
Yāknow, Iām not gonna bullshit anybody here ābout how this sounds. Cominā from me. Knowinā what Iāve done anā how little Iāve fuckinā cared about the aftermath of it. But I know if anyoneād ever done to him any of the things Iāve done to -- to some guys, Iād have killed the motherfucker. If Iād found out Wayne anā Lennyād made him one of their boys, Iād have tracked āem down, cut
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