Keep My Secrets by Elena Wilkes (large ebook reader .txt) 📗

back and forth a hundred times a day. She ate, she drank. She didn’t allow herself to think. She sat watching her little daughter in that fish tank of a plastic crib, knowing that one day she would take her away from this place, because she would get better; she had to get better. Hours and days passed. She thought of where they might go: somewhere quiet, the seaside maybe, just the two of them. They would sit and watch the waves, listening to the sea grass rattling beside them and watching the sunset blazing into pure lilac. They’d sit in hollowed dunes with the soft pink shadows creeping, hiding them from everyone. ‘Your name is Chloe,’ she whispered through the plastic wall. ‘And you’re all mine.’

Chapter Sixteen

‘How are you both doing?’

‘Oh!’

Jude was standing behind her in the doorway. She was smiling, gently, looking round at all the machines and wires. Frankie’s embarrassment stung: hot and smarting.

‘I’m okay. We’re okay.’

Jude tiptoed over and peered into the incubator, the shock of such a tiny little thing registering on her face and then she smiled.

‘You don’t have to look like that, Frankie.’ She raised an eyebrow and gave her a sideways look. ‘Vanessa and Peter have stayed in contact with me. They told me you were pregnant.’

Frankie looked at her, stunned.

Jude gave her a wry smile. ‘The three of us came to an agreement. They convinced me you were being looked after properly, so I knew you were safe.’

She had no idea.

‘I could have intervened at any point, but I’ve learned over the years that being ‘text-book’ doesn’t always give you the best outcome, Frankie. After all, I knew where you were, even if the circumstances weren’t what could be described as…’ She chose the word carefully. ‘…Umm… Orthodox.’

Frankie bit her lip.

‘So now I understand why you were so keen to get involved in going to court,’ Jude said gently. ‘I get it now. You did a very brave thing there, Frankie.’

She didn’t feel like that at all.

‘It wasn’t brave. I was a total coward. Vanessa and Peter—’

‘Vanessa and Peter just want to help.’

‘But they must hate me.’

‘I know how it must feel, Frankie, but they don’t. I’ve spoken to them at length. They are genuinely warm, kind people. They see you and that baby as victims of circumstances beyond your control. You two are innocent in all this as far as they’re concerned.’

‘But I’m not though, am I?’

‘Well, yes, they feel angry, yes, they’re upset and confused over what you did and didn’t do, but they also know that you’re just a kid. That you got mixed up in something that was way, way over your head. No, you didn’t do the right thing in the beginning – you should have told the police that you saw Martin and Charlotte together – but you did the right thing in the end, and that’s what counts. Your testimony and witness statement will be crucial in making sure that Martin goes to prison for a long time. Vanessa and Peter have been told it could be fifteen years. That has to be something, doesn’t it?’

The idea of that length of time made her head swim. It felt like a lifetime.

‘Martin Jarvis is the guilty one here, not anyone else. That’s what you have to remember. All this blaming yourself for not coming forward sooner,’ she waved the idea away. ‘That just lets him off the hook. We all need to concentrate on building positive relationships. You have your whole life in front of you, Frankie. Vanessa and Peter know that. That’s why they’re offering you a home, you and…’ She looked at the name plaque. ‘…little Chloe.’

Frankie felt her eyes widening in shock; she’d never dreamed…

‘You’re eighteen in a couple of months. You’re an adult, a free agent to live where you choose. Take the offer. Live with Vanessa and Peter. Let them provide you with a firm family base while you get yourself some qualifications and a job. Be your own woman, Frankie. Put all this behind you and move forward. Don’t drag the past round with you forever; let it go.’

She nodded silently. She couldn’t bring herself to speak.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered finally.

‘Thank yourself,’ nodded Jude. ‘You’re the one that’s going to be amazing.’

Chapter Seventeen

Which meant Jude signed the paperwork for the remaining two months of guardianship. Chloe was doing well, so there was no reason she couldn’t be discharged. Vanessa and Peter came into the hospital smiling and happy and Frankie immediately burst into tears.

‘Hey, hey…’ Vanessa’s arms went around her. ‘There’s no need for all that. You did the right thing. Without you, Frankie… without you…’ She stopped and pushed her back to look into her eyes. ‘He’s not going anywhere for a long time, but we know where he is. That, at least, gives us a little peace for a while.’

Frankie looked into her eyes and believed her. She believed because right that minute she would have believed anything. She was so tired, so exhausted. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it, tell me what to think and I’ll think it. It was as though she was functioning but with someone else pulling the strings. All she wanted to do was lie on the floor and close her eyes until the world stopped spinning and she could finally get off.

She’d done everything that was required. She’d filed the witness statement for the court, given evidence, in camera, so that she didn’t have to face Martin. She allowed everyone to think that she had changed: grown up, taken the right path and done the right thing. So why did she feel so dead inside? It was as though she was on a moving treadmill, being taken into a foreign country where everything felt wrong and bizarre. Vanessa was always there by her side, constantly smiling. This was the right thing… Of course it was… Giving her statement against Martin… Telling the truth… Agreeing to live