The Lying, the Witch, and the Werewolf (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services Book 4) by Kate Quinn (uplifting books for women .txt) 📗

“Oh, Shit!” I say, leaning down to hug my Dalmanther.

“He’s going to have to stay behind, Paige,” Nico says. He sort of melted away to let me have my moment with Cassie, but now that it’s over, he’s back into alpha take charge mode.

“What! No!” My arms tighten around Shit, and he begins a low growl in his chest, aware that I’m upset. “I’m not leaving my Dalmanther!”

Mac crouches next to me, running a hand along Shit’s chest, and his rumbling growl shifts into a purr.

“He’ll be alright here with us,” Mac reassures me.

“And you don’t want to have him with us at the Humans First rally,” Nico says.

“He’ll be a good boy! He won’t hurt anybody!” I insist.

“You don’t know that,” Nico shakes his head. “If you are in any danger—and that’s very possible—Shit will protect you. And that means ripping out throats. Also, this is a Humans First rally, remember? Firsters don’t like anything to do with supes, and Dalmanthers are part of that. We’re going to have our hands full, and I don’t want anything to happen to Shit if a hater decides to go after him.”

I rest my head against Shit’s warm coat. Nico’s right, but—as usual—I don’t like it one bit. Shit is way safer at a cult where his kind is worshipped than he will be at a rally where he can quickly become a target. Still, it’s not easy to say goodbye.

“Be a good boy for Cassie and Mac, okay?” I say to Shit, and he licks my face, then runs over to my little pile of belongings. He rummages for a second, then produces my Thunderstick.

“Nice!” Mac says, eyeing it with glee.

Shit brings it to my feet, then gives me the most pathetic puppy face I’ve ever seen. “Oh my god, fine. Yes,” I say, nodding to him. “You can keep my vibrator.”

Shit yelps with joy, grabs the Thunderstick, and then trots out of the yurt, undoubtedly to share his new possession with his friends.

“Since we’re babysitting the Dalmanther,” Mac says, putting an arm around Cassie, “and ownership of the Thunderstick has passed to him, does that mean—”

“No,” I cut him off. “You cannot use my vibrator. I have my limits.”

“So do I,” says Nico, and his glamour falls away. Before me stands Nico, eyepatch and all. As much as I’ve liked looking at the blonde two-eyed Nico, I’m even more appreciative of real Nico when he’s back in front of me.

“Hey,” I say, like I haven’t seen him in a while.

“Hey,” he says back, with a small smile. “You ready to go?”

“Ready!” I say, but then looking down at myself and my ripped shirt, I quickly amend that. “Actually, I need to get changed first. Also, uh…how are we getting there? They magically vamoosed the chocolate trucks and we’ve got a few hours on the road…”

Nico shakes his head. “Hepa created a portal object for me when we thought you were in danger. Creating a portal takes a lot of magical energy. It nearly drained Hepa to create it.”

Nico reaches into his pocket and pulls out a plastic disposable flosser. “This is a one-way, one-use type of deal. Do you remember where the rally is taking place?”

“I’m sorry,” I say, still staring at the flosser. “But what is with Hepa and oral hygiene?”

“Paige…” Nico sighs, closing his one eye in frustration.

“It’s at the convention center downtown.”

Nico sighs. “Of course it is. Big venue. Lots of people. This is gonna be a real shitshow.”

“Not if we can stop it,” I say, and then turn to Nico. “Alright, let’s go.”

25

Traveling via magical portal sounds sexy and exciting. The reality is a bit different. First off, it’s cold—like Arctic winter cold. Secondly, the feeling of being nowhere in the midst of unending nothingness apparently disagrees with my stomach. The minute we pop into an alleyway, I lean over and violently retch.

Nico rubs my back in circles which feels so good I don’t want him to stop. Ever. Probably still the chocolate in my system.

Stepping away from him and over my pile of vomit, I look around to get my bearings. I realize with surprise that we’re only a block away from the convention center.

“How did you get us so close?” I ask Nico.

“I know this alley pretty well,” he answers. “I got pics of a client’s husband with a prostitute here. She insisted on seeing the place it happened herself and then wanted to re-enact the whole thing but with herself and me—”

“All right, enough,” I interrupt, not wanting to hear more. “I get it, we’re in a sex alley. A perfect transition from the sex cult.”

“Yeah, that’s sorta what I figured,” Nico says with a shrug.

Rolling my eyes, I head toward the street with Nico on my heels. We join the masses of people wearing Humans First hats and waving Humans First flags. Pretty much anything you can wear has HF emblazoned across it. We push our way along with the crowd.

While I look a little out of place in my hippy attire, Nico is nearly naked. He is getting more than his fair share of stares.

We pass a swag table and I grab him a Humans First hoodie. I toss it to him and he shakes his head. “Put it on,” I order. “And if you start to smell chocolate, try to resist.”

He begrudgingly pulls it over his head. Now at least the top half of him looks normal. Maybe people will think he’s wearing running shorts. I do a check to see if this might fly, which is to say that I take a good long look at Nico’s ass—and he catches me.

“Still blaming it on the chocolate?” he asks in a knowing tone, almost like he’s reading my mind.

I throw him some evil eye and sticking my nose in the air, reply in my haughtiest tone, “My only interest in your body is that it blends in with everyone else’s.”

We’re almost