First Kiss Last by Sara Miller (read e book .TXT) 📗

real life. In. Real. Life. You told me this was real. You told me you love me. You fucking promised!”

Leah was not afraid of him. No matter how angry he got or how many fights he had picked at school, she’d never been afraid of him. She got up and tried to go to him but he backed away.

“At least tell me why. Maybe it’s something we can work through. I swear Leah, I love you that much. I’ll wait for however long things take with Eric—”

But Leah was shaking her head again. She couldn’t stop telling him “no.”

Cade broke.

Leah watched the strongest man she knew crumble to the floor and weep. She’d done this to him. This was all her fault. She had broken both their hearts. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to somehow make them right again. She kneeled in front of him and tried to reach out to him.

Cade looked up sharply, “Don’t.”

His blue eyes had gone so dark, she pulled her hand back as if she’d been scalded. She’d never seen him look at her this way before. It was terrifying.

“I don’t know how this dream thing works,” his voice was now devoid of emotion. “I’ve never known. You just come and go.”

He stood up before adding, “You can leave now.”

With those parting words, he turned, walked to his bedroom, and shut the door.

Leah heard the lock click.

She remained on the floor. She cried until the Christmas lights dimmed and darkness claimed her.

Chapter 29

Leah woke to a soft knock at her bedroom door. She felt groggy, like she had slept too long. Memories of her dream and real life slammed together and she felt sick to her stomach.

“Leah?”

It was Lily’s voice. Lily was at the apartment. Why? The door opened and her sister came in.

“Leah?” she tried again. “Eric asked me to come check on you. He said you haven’t gotten up in two days. It’s Christmas Eve. Are you sick?”

Leah shook her head even though she did feel sick. But she didn’t want to explain.

“I’m ok—”

“The hell you are!” Eric had followed Lily in without Leah realizing and they spoke in unison.

Lily gave a weak laugh. “Give us a minute,” Lily nodded toward the door and Eric left.

“Lily, I’m fine. I can’t explain right now but I need to talk to Eric first. That’s all I can tell you.”

“Is it the dreams? Is that why you’ve been sleeping?”

“No.” She gave a strangled laugh that sounded close to a sob.

“But if it’s not the dreams and you aren’t sick . . .” Lily still fought to understand.

“Well, maybe I was a little sick. But I’m okay now. Look, I’m getting up. I’m fine.” She wobbled as she stood. “I’m going to take a shower and then get something to eat. ’Cause I’m fine,” she repeated.

Lily looked skeptical.

“Pinky-swear!” Leah offered her pinky finger to her sister in the childish gesture, hoping Lily would relax. Lily still looked concerned, but she nodded and headed out the door.

Leah emerged an hour later. She was squeaky clean and wearing fresh clothes. Eric sat in the living room and Lily was stirring something on the stove.

“Mmm. That smells so good,” Leah was in earnest. The scent smelled like home.

“Gigi’s homemade chicken and noodles. With mashed potatoes.”

Lily had made Leah’s absolute favorite comfort food. It wasn’t their usual Christmas Eve take-out food but it was suddenly exactly what Leah wanted. Her mouth watered.

Leah moved to the cupboard and took down three wide but shallow black bowls. Lily shook her head.

“If you are really okay, I’m going to take off. It’s Christmas Eve,” she sounded apologetic.

“Oh my goodness, Lily, yes! Get home to Robert and the girls! We’ll see you tomorrow.” She wrapped her sister in a hug, then pushed her out the door.

“So you really are okay? You scared the crap out of me.” Eric’s tone was hard for her to read.

“I had a lot on my mind and I don’t know if I just shut down or if I also caught a bug or what. I just needed to sleep I guess. But I do feel better,” she shrugged. It was the best answer she could think of.

Leah busied herself dishing up food. She held a bowl toward Eric and when he nodded, she filled his too. They sat together at the counter eating chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes.

“I really do feel better,” Leah announced honestly this time as she finished her meal.

“That’s good,” Eric nodded, pushing his half eaten food around in his bowl.

“You aren’t hungry?”

“It’s a lot of carbs.”

Leah’s face fell. Why couldn’t this man like any part of anything she did? Why did this have to be so hard?

“It’s good, babe. Really good. It’s just a lot. I loved it though.”

Leah thought he just might be telling the truth so she relaxed and smiled. Eric smiled back. When the silence became too much, Leah got up and moved to the couch, throwing a light blanket over her lap. Eric followed and sat at the other end.

“It’s really Christmas Eve?” she couldn’t wrap her head around how much time she’d lost.

“Yup. For a few more hours anyway.”

“Wait. What time is it?” Leah looked at the dark window in confusion.

“Almost eight o’clock.”

“Wow.” Leah did not know what else to say.

“So . . .” he began, “You feel up to exchanging presents?”

“Sure,” she moved to the floor by the tree. Eric joined her, just like they always did.

Leah watched Eric open his gifts. He liked the gym clothes and the DVD set as she expected. He scoffed at the candies but opened them and ate one right away. He offered the box to her and she helped herself.

Last year he’d fed it to her. What a difference a year can make. What a difference a couple days can make. She shook her head and clamped down on her thoughts.

“Your turn,” Eric handed her a small package first. She opened a nice pair of winter gloves.

“Yours