Heart and Soul by Jackie May (reading list .TXT) 📗

him do it, Shayne. I watched him put the keys on the branch. He saw me. Looked right at me.”

I nod, understanding. “We don’t have to worry about Nolan anymore.”

“What about Ben? You really think he’d do it?”

“Yes. He’d kill us both, then spend the rest of his life denying that he feels guilty about it.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“It’s not. I think he’s generally mad at everybody—at the world—but there’s only one person he really hates, and that’s himself.”

“Could you do it?”

I try my best to sound committed. “Yes. If he came after you, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Jay looks upset. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“But you shouldn’t have to choose.”

“No, we’re not having this conversation, Jay. You didn’t do this. My family is doing this. You’re right; I shouldn’t have to choose, but they say I do, so I did. That’s not on you.”

“Uh, it’s kind of on me, yeah.”

“No.”

“Because.”

“No.”

“Because I love you,” he says.

I’m caught off guard, to say the least. It’s strange how you can feel something and know something and even show it so many times by your actions and still be completely floored to hear it put into direct words. Feeling my face overheat, the only natural response that comes to mind is to continue the stupid argument. “So what? I love you, too.”

“Good,” is his witty retort.

Which I follow with an even wittier “Okay, good.” And then, as we both try not to smile, I say, “Because tomorrow night we’re going to a secret necromancer’s masquerade where we’ll probably both be killed by demons, so…”

“So…you thought we’d have one last donut before that?”

We’re parked in front of a donut shop in a strip mall that opens any minute. “Yes,” I lie. “But not just any donut. It has to be your favorite donut.”

“My favorite? I don’t have a—”

“No, Jay. Unacceptable.”

He makes an offended look. “What, I can’t not have a favorite donut?”

“No, you can’t. You have to pick one. Is that so damn hard? Are you telling me you like all donuts the same?”

“What if I did? Is this a cop joke?”

I make my own offended look. “Um, only if you think it’s a joke that if you don’t have a favorite donut, then I have to assume you don’t have a favorite anything, including a favorite person.”

His face scrunches with the strain of trying to keep up with my logic. “That’s just…such a girl thing to say.”

I gasp, this time for real.

Jay laughs, because he knows he’s busted. “Fine, fine. A favorite donut…” He thinks hard. Too hard. Geez, maybe he’s worse off than I thought. “Oh. What about a maple bar?”

“Are you seriously asking me?”

“Not everybody has just one favorite of everything. It depends on how you feel at the moment. Like, do you always order the same exact thing at restaurants?”

“Yes! Haven’t you noticed?”

“Wait, you do?”

“Why would I go there if I didn’t know exactly what I wanted? You know what, forget it.”

“No. You started this. Obviously, it’s important for you to know which donuts I like.”

“Oh my—” I massage my temples. “This has nothing to do with donuts! I’m trying to…look, when I saw my family back there. When I saw Bunica…I know her. I know every single person there. Everything about them. Likes, dislikes, quirks, wants, dreams. I want to know you that way.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. But it’s impossible.”

“Not fair. That’s your family. You’ve known them your whole life. It takes time.”

“I really hate that answer.”

“Of course! Because you’re impatient. You want everything right now, this instant.”

“See? You already know everything about me. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Congratulations. You’re easy.”

“Watch it, mister.”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Shayne, except…maple bar.”

“I’ll tell you where to stick your maple bar.”

“I don’t have a lot of set-in-stone ways; I guess you’re right. Maybe I don’t know what I want until I see it. But when I see it, and when I know it, I know it. And nothing and no one can stop me after that.”

“Now that is something I do know about you.”

“It’s true. You never stood a chance.”

“Oh, really.”

“Honestly, Shayne. It’s pathetic how easy you were.”

“I will slap that grin off your face.”

He pulls me toward him. “Do it,” he challenges, inching closer. The morning light catches his green eyes, and I melt into him, kissing his lips with desperate intensity. The stress and anxiety of the worst night of my life fades away. This is a new day, and Jay’s still here.

By the time we come up for air, a woman is unlocking the door to the donut shop. The neon OPEN sign flickers on. Time for me to make the decision. I can take him in there, buy him a maple bar, and call it good. He would never know that I actually brought us here for something else.

Before I can change my mind, I say, “You know, there is one other thing I know about you. C’mon.” I open the door and step out of the car. He follows, joining me on the sidewalk in front of the donut shop. Fighting back the urge to shudder, I point to the shop next door—a dog shelter. Its owner is just now flipping the door sign from closed to open. I can hear several of the beasts yapping inside.

Jay’s jaw drops. “No, Shayne.”

“Don’t try to tell me you’re not a dog person, because when we first met, you were ready to let a junkyard mutt tear my throat out before you’d even consider shooting it, and Russo said you always wanted a dog, but couldn’t because you lived in a tiny apartment. He told me how you would always complain about having to watch Haley’s dog, but that secretly you loved it and one time he caught you brushing its hair.”

“I did not!”

“Fine, I made that last part up, but still. Am I wrong?”

“Babe, I don’t know what to say. This is incredible. Really. But you and dogs…it’s too much.”

“That’s exactly why I want to do this.” I step in front of