More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations by Melody Beattie (comprehension books .TXT) 📗

us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we're attempting to control their process, or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as, Other people make me feel. . . . Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny. . . . or, I can't behappy unless another behaves in a particular way, or a certain event takes place. . . .

Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries.

Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims.

We strive to have compassion for the person who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later, after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back into the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again.

We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part—not to control or punish, but to be responsible for ourselves and to others.

We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims.

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Today, I will take responsibility for myself and show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized. I cannot control outcomes, but I can control myattitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; I do not deserve to be victimized.

January 20

New Beginnings

Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving ourselves and others. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.

Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries!

We try to see the good in the person, or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try to see our part.

Then we put the incident to rest.

Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too.

What better way to begin a new year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments.

Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentments that are hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Showme what I need to do to take care of myself by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that.

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January 21

Wants and Needs

Part of taking responsibility for ourselves means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do.

Learning to tunein to ourselves, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need, and apply that skill to ourselves.

What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition?

If we ask, then listen closely; well hear the answer.

We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted.

What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs.

We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.

January 22

Appreciating Our Past

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving.

The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.

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Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too.

Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed.

Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.

Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that hasbrought me to today.

January 23

New Energy Coming

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.

—Beyond Codependency

There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, onhow we feel at this moment.

There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing.