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make sure things are right with your boyfriend before you go making any major life decisions. Marcus and I got married because we were high school sweethearts and we thought that’s what we were supposed to do. Now, I’m thirty-one and miserable. I spent my early life in a relationship in which I was unhappy. I wish things were different.”

“Abby, I am so sorry,” she said. She walked through a swinging door in the middle of the bar and came to me, embracing me in a hug.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m so old and my life is over, but I’m still young, I can start over. It’s just getting the courage to do it. All of that scares me.”

“I’m sure. He’s all you’ve known.” She said.

“Exactly.”

She walked back behind the bar and leaned her elbows against it, engrossed in our conversation.

“I’ve talked to Damien about it some, and he’s been through a divorce so he kind of knows what I’m feeling, and yeah, he’s pretty cool. When I told him about Marcus not being home this weekend because of work, he suggested we stay and explore the city, as friends. I genuinely believe he’s a good guy and I totally think he’ll keep it in the friend zone, so I agreed.”

“Well that should be fun. If you guys need a tour guide, let me know. I have some school work to do this weekend, but I should have some free time.” She said.

“That would be fun!”

We pulled out our phones and exchanged numbers. I was determined to have a good time in Atlanta before I had to face my reality.

Back in my room, I crawled into bed and turned on the TV. I pulled out my phone and went straight to the app that sat empty with no new messages. Not giving myself any more time to think about it, I typed out a message to Gage.

Me: Hey. Hope things are good. Haven’t heard from you. I can’t help but feel like things are starting to get weird again. I hope we’re okay. I miss you. And love you.

It was the truth. I needed things with Gage to be okay. I couldn’t stand this back and forth...as if this was another thing I needed in my brain. You hear people say that they love someone so much it hurts, and that’s what it felt like with him. The thought of losing what we had hurt, but the thought that I might never actually have him completely is what killed me most.

Chapter Thirty-Five

 

It was twelve o’ clock on Friday and I had finally made it through the week. Our last class of the week was over, and I packed up my things, waiting for Damien. We’d started walking back and forth to class together, and I really enjoyed his presence. He was a good friend. It was too bad we lived hours apart.

“So, dinner tonight at seven, right?” he asked.

“Yep. Taylor is going to meet us there. It’s walking distance from here, you good with that?”

“That works.”

We were meeting Taylor for dinner to plan out our Saturday. For today, we were just going to lay low and rest from the hectic week until dinner time.

Back at the hotel, we rode the elevator up to our floor.

“I’ll come get you at 6:30. Sound good?” he asked.

“Sure thing. Hope you get a good nap in.”

“Same for you.” He said.

I wasn’t sure that was possible. I hadn’t gotten much sleep at all lately. After I sent Gage the message expressing my concerns of our relationship, he basically blew me off. He’d said he was busy and I was just paranoid, but he’d barely talked to me and something about his demeanor was different. He didn’t say I love you as often, and he wasn’t flirty and fun like he usually was. Although I didn’t want to face the truth, I knew something bad was coming. I hated my gut. It was always right.

Picking up my phone, I touched Melinda’s name on the screen and prayed she answered. I needed to keep my mind busy.

“Hey girl hey!” she answered.

“You’re perky.” I said.

“I’m getting ready to go to the beach,” she said. “I took the day off.”

“Nice! You deserve a day off.”

“You on your way home?” she asked.

“Nah. I’m going to stay.”

“What? Why?”

“Marcus is out of town and I’m not going to be able to see Gage, so what’s the point in coming home?”

“Well, you could come hang out with me, but whatever. What’s weird is that you talk about those two men like it’s normal.”

“Yeah. I have to end it with Marcus. If he’s not going to do it, I have to. I don’t think things with Gage are going to end in a fairytale either, but I’m miserable with him or without him.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“He’s been acting so weird again. I have that bad gut feeling that I had before. I hope it’s wrong, I really do, but I just don’t know.”

She sighed loudly. “Abby, I hate this for you. You’ve got to finalize that divorce and start fresh. Maybe take some time alone for a while. Move in with me!”

“I know. I just have to actually do it.”

“I know it’s hard.” She said. “Been there done that.”

I had to stifle a laugh. “Mel, it wasn’t hard for you at all. Your divorce was the easiest breakup I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Yeah. You’re right. But I can imagine being in your position with everything you have going on, and I know it’s not easy. Just know you have my support. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Thank you. I need that more than anything right now.”

“What are you going to do in that city

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