Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (book series to read .TXT) 📗

loved him. I hated that I put myself in this situation. I wanted to place the blame on Marcus, but at this point, I was just as much at fault as him.

He pulled me from my thoughts again when he spoke. “It’s hard, I know. Especially when there’s so much invested, but you have to do what’s best for you. You’re a good girl. You don’t deserve to live in misery.”

“Thank you, you’re sweet.” I said. Only I wasn’t that good. I made a promise to myself to never do what I’d done again.

“What do you think about all those comments Taylor was making today?” he asked, smiling.

“She’s crazy,” was all I could say as I hid my face with the pillow.

“She might be on to something.” He said.

“What?”

“I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better…once things are settled for you.”

That was the last thing I needed right now. It’d be easier if all I had to do was divorce my husband, but that wasn’t the case. I was still clinging to hope that my future was with Gage.

“Oh my. I wasn’t quite expecting that.” I said.

“I don’t mean to make things awkward, or ruin our friendship,” he said. “And I definitely don’t want to put more stress on you.”

“You’re not. I definitely want to stay in touch. You never know what the future holds, but right now I don’t want to put up any expectations. I’ve got a shit storm to get through.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because he was such a great guy, but I had to be real.

“I understand that completely. I’m good with that. Good to know you’re not going to cut me off as soon as we leave here.” He grinned.

“I could never. Although you did kind of bother me at first, you turned out to be a great friend.” I said, smiling.

“Persistence is the key. I didn’t give up on you, now look at us.” He said with a smirk.

“Oh, please,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“I guess I’m going to head back to my room and get to bed. Hit me up tomorrow. Maybe we can grab lunch or something.”

“Alright,” I said, walking him to the door. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Abby.”

Once my door was shut and locked, I ripped off my clothes and changed into my pajamas. What in the world just happened? As if I didn’t have enough going on, let’s add his interest in me to my pile of mess. In all reality, he was the type of man I should be going for. He was respectable and we had fun together. Our conversations came easy, and he understood me. Those were things I once thought about Gage, but the more time went on, the more I was beginning to believe I was so wrong about him. I wanted to be right. I wanted to believe he was it for me.

I replied to Melinda’s message and put my phone on the nightstand as I lay back, staring at the ceiling. After a few minutes of silence, I grabbed my phone again and scrolled to Gage’s name, my finger hovering over the thread. I needed peace. I clicked on his name, deciding to send a message, whether he replied or not.

Me: Hey. Didn’t hear from you today. Hope things are okay. You seemed a little upset when I said I wasn’t coming home, and things between us have been weird. I hate it when it’s like that. I miss you and I love you.

 

Short, simple, and to the point. I couldn’t do any more than that. I didn’t have the energy. I loved Gage with my entire soul. He always said he felt the same. For my sanity, I needed to know where we stood.

I flipped on the TV and aimlessly flipped through the channels, hoping to soon fall asleep. It was almost two in the morning and I picked up my phone again, glancing to the message I’d sent Gage. It hadn’t been read yet, but I knew he was asleep. I drifted to my contacts and touched Damien’s name.

Me: You awake?

An hour later and he hadn’t responded either. He was asleep too, as most normal people were. It was probably a good thing he didn’t reply. I wasn’t in my right mind. Would I ever be in a place of normalcy again? At this point, I wasn’t counting on it.

***

At some point, my body finally drifted to sleep because when I woke up, the clock showed that it was after ten in the morning. The curtains covered the windows and the room was dark, allowing my body to rest. It felt nice.

As usual, I grabbed my phone, seeing that Damien had texted me back at seven this morning.

Damien: Sorry. Just woke up. Are you okay?

And then an hour later.

Damien: You must still be sleeping. Text me when you wake up.

I should have never texted him last night. What would I have done if he would’ve replied?

Me: I’m good. Just woke up. Took forever to fall asleep. Lunch later?

 

Then I drifted to my Messenger app and there was a message from Gage. I was afraid to open it, unsure of what its contents held. I clicked the message, bracing myself for what was to come.

Gage: Hey. It’s been a busy weekend. Sorry you’ve felt that things have been weird, but they’re not. Hope everything is going well for you. Love you too.

Really? That was it? There was something up, but I decided that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my time worrying about it. Not right now. I was going to spend the remainder of my time in training focusing on my job, myself, and thinking about things, just as I instructed Marcus to do. It was funny, he was the