The Bosun: A Military Romance (Love is Blind Book 3) by Harlow Layne (e reader pdf best .txt) 📗

understand what was going on. Why was he shutting me out, and what was that dream about? Had he seen something horrific from the fire and didn’t want to mention it? Whatever it was had taken its toll on him, going by the way his shoulders were hunched over and the desolate look in his eyes.

“Remy,” I called out to him, my voice shaky, “please talk to me. I don’t want you to leave like this.”

“It’s...I can’t. Not tonight.” He looked at me only for a moment before he looked away again. “Anyway, I need to get back to the station, and we both need to get some sleep.”

“I wish you could stay and sleep here.” And talk to me.

“You know that’s not possible. I need to go.” He moved around to my side of the bed and kissed the top of my head. Never once did his eyes meet mine as he spoke. “I’ll try to call you tomorrow night, but I might be wiped, so if you don’t hear from me, don’t be alarmed.”

How could he say that? Tomorrow Remy would be placed closer to the line of fire. Of course, I was going to worry about him. Now even more so.

“Remy,” I grabbed his hand, not wanting to let him go. With tired eyes, he met my gaze. “Please be careful tomorrow, and if you don’t have the energy to call me, then send me a text letting me know you’re okay.”

His eyes fell to my lips and lingered there before he spoke. “I’ll try. Now I really need to go. My ride is waiting for me downstairs.” Every word that came out of him sounded like it was coming from a robot. There wasn’t a hint of the man I’d come to know there.

I kept my grip on him even as he started to pull away. After being woken up the way I had, I was desperate to touch him in any way I could, wanting to go back to those minutes before I woke up. When my fingers slipped from his, Remy turned on his heel and walked away.

“Be safe,” I called out as a tear ran down my cheek.

Without looking back, he replied in the same robotic tone as before, “Always.”

18

Remy

Lying on my cot, I knew I should text Stella to let her know I was okay, but the truth was I wasn’t okay. I was fine from today, but my dream from last night kept haunting me. Also, I couldn’t get the way Stella looked at me when I told her I was leaving out of my head. She’d opened up to me earlier in the night and then I did what I said I wouldn’t do, I ran.

Blowing out a breath, I thought back to my call with my therapist. He knew what I’d been through, and I’d hoped he could shed some light on what was going on with me. I’d talked to my dad earlier, and he told me I needed to give Stella my past, but I didn’t want to fill her with my darkness.

Dr. Rivera said the same after I explained to him how I was feeling about Stella, but I couldn’t do that to her. He also suggested maybe I wasn’t ready for the situation I’d put myself in with volunteering in a life or death situation. We went over some of the exercises that had helped me in the past, and he said to call him day or night if I needed to talk.

I wasn’t ready to face the reality that doing the one job I wanted to do might set me back. I was no longer able to suppress what happened when Damon died.

Knowing I needed to open up to Stella about my past and worrying she might not want the damaged man inside kept me from calling her. I couldn’t be another man in her life that let her down. First, her father for not accepting the way she looked, and then Brock for using her to make his way through medical school only to cheat on her when she didn’t become pregnant with his child. What kind of man did that? And how could I be another man she let into her heart only to break it with the shattered pieces of me I hid from her?

I knew what I needed to do, but I had to wait until I was face to face with her. This wasn’t something I could say through a text or over the phone. Tomorrow, I would tell her. For now, I’d send her a message letting her know I was safe and I’d see her the next day.

Remy: It was a tough day but I’m at the station house and safe.

Remy: I’ll see you tomorrow.

Stella: Thank you for letting me know.

I can’t wait to see you.

Stella: Good night, Remy.

Remy: Good night.

Closing my eyes, I willed myself to come up with another alternative to deal with the pain that was trapped inside me. All night and day, all I could think about was how I’d thought I was better and not as damaged as I’d been since the moment Damon died. Even now, knowing it wasn’t my fault that he died. The pain of losing him and Tyler all came rushing back after my dream. The only time it went away was when I was working and out risking my life to save others.

Not wanting to be around others when I saw Stella, I took a taxi to Penelope’s condo. My leg bounced the entire way there with nerves about what I was getting ready to do.

The moment Stella opened the door, and she took me in, her eyes filled with tears. “Come in,” she said on a shaky breath as she moved to the side to let me in.

Following her to the couch where we reunited, I sat down and left a couple of feet separating us. I knew if I felt the