A Midsummer Night’s Dream - William Shakespeare (best classic novels txt) 📗

Bottom, Flute, Snout, and Starveling. Bottom Are we all met? Quince Pat, pat; and here’s a marvellous convenient place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring-house; and we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke. Bottom Peter Quince⁠— Quince What sayest thou, bully Bottom? Bottom There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies cannot abide. How answer you that? Snout By’r lakin, a parlous fear. Starveling I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done. Bottom Not a whit: I have a device to make all well. Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, for the more better assurance, tell them that I Pyramus am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear. Quince Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be written in eight and six. Bottom No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and eight. Snout Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion? Starveling I fear it, I promise you. Bottom Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves: to bring in⁠—God shield us!⁠—a lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living; and we ought to look to’t. Snout Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion. Bottom Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen through the lion’s neck: and he himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect⁠—“Ladies,”⁠—or, “Fair ladies⁠—I would wish you,”⁠—or, “I would request you,”⁠—or, “I would entreat you⁠—not to fear, not to tremble: my life for yours. If you think I come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life: no, I am no such thing; I am a man as other men are;” and there indeed let him name his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner. Quince Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things; that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber; for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight. Snug Doth the moon shine that night we play our play? Bottom A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find out moonshine, find out moonshine. Quince Yes, it doth shine that night. Bottom Why, then may you leave a casement of the great chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon may shine in at the casement. Quince Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby, says the story, did talk through the chink of a wall. Snug You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom? Bottom Some man or other must present Wall: and let him have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper. Quince If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down, every mother’s son, and rehearse your parts. Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your speech, enter into that brake: and so everyone according to his cue. Enter Puck behind. Puck

What hempen home-spuns have we swaggering here,
So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
What, a play toward! I’ll be an auditor;
An actor too perhaps, if I see cause.

Quince Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth. Bottom Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet⁠— Quince Odours, odours. Bottom

—odours savours sweet:
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.
But hark, a voice! stay thou but here awhile,
And by and by I will to thee appear. Exit.

Puck A stranger Pyramus than e’er played here. Exit. Flute Must I speak now? Quince Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again. Flute

Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
Of colour like the red rose on triumphant brier,
Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew,
As true as truest horse that yet would never tire,
I’ll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb.

Quince “Ninus’ tomb,” man: why, you must not speak that yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your part at once, cues and all. Pyramus, enter: your cue is past; it is, “never tire.” Flute O⁠—As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire. Re-enter Puck, and Bottom with an ass’s head. Bottom If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine. Quince O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray, masters! fly, masters! Help! Exeunt Quince, Snug, Flute, Snout, and Starveling. Puck

I’ll follow you, I’ll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn. Exit.

Bottom Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them to make me afeard. Re-enter Snout. Snout O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on thee? Bottom What do you see? you see an ass-head of your own, do you? Exit Snout. Re-enter Quince. Quince Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art translated. Exit. Bottom

I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me; to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can: I will walk up and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid. Sings.

The ousel cock, so black of hue,
With orange-tawny bill,
The throstle with his