Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters by Menon, Sudha (books suggested by bill gates txt) 📗

you about what has shaped these beliefs and learning in my life. Anna, for the many years before you were born, I worked very hard and without any sense of balance. I have come to learn that lack of balance can lead to some form of success, but in a very one-dimensional manner, and unless appropriately balanced, it can be at the expense of long-term happiness. I was fortunate that before I was even 35-years-old, I was running nearly all of DSP Merrill Lynch, which at that time was India’s leading investment bank, so fame and fortune came to me somewhat early in life. However, towards the end of my thirteenth year with the firm, I realized that despite having everything most would aspire for, there was something missing in my life.

I spent a long time trying to figure out what was missing in my life and took some time off to go to a Vipassana camp. Sometimes, the realization comes to you a little late because once you start leading your life a particular way, it’s really tough to bring in significant changes. Vipassana helped me enormously. Honestly, I didn’t learn the meditation technique at the camp, but the mandatory silence at the camp gave me eleven days with myself, helping me seek answers to the many questions I had about the purpose of my life and how I wanted to lead it.

I reflected then and continue to reflect now on what was missing, and I want to share with you what I have learnt. Firstly, Anna, while I gained a lot, I also paid a big price for that lack of balance in many parts of my life. If I was able to turn back the clock, I would lead a more balanced life, even if it would mean not having had the same degree of success or even if that success had taken longer to come. But I am convinced it would have been a more enjoyable, more durable journey in the long run.

Back home, with a clearer picture of the life I wanted, I decided to give up my job at DSP Merrill Lynch right at the peak of my career. I could have easily continued there or I could have gone on to manage a larger company, or earn more fame and fortune, but that wasn’t all what I wanted to do. In fact, I figured that my job was taking away a lot of flexibility from what I really wanted to do with my life. I felt that I needed to course-correct my life, before it was too late in terms of choosing a new career that would be more intellectually stimulating, but would give me more flexibility with how I wanted to spend my time with myself, and on things outside the work place.

You mother understands the need for balance in life and I envy her ability to lead her life with a sense of balance. It is my hope that you will learn from my mistakes, and also inherit this ability from her so that you have a better life.

Dear Anna, please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. While I fervently hope that you cultivate a sense of balance in life as early as possible, I hope that it does not happen at the cost of drive and intensity in your chosen calling. I just hope that while doing so, you will balance your career pursuits with your responsibility, to yourself from a health perspective or with your relationships, and to society more broadly.

Sometimes I look at your mother and feel envious of how she has struck what I feel is the right balance—one which works for her, for her family, and for the society at large. It is not easy working in the not-for-profit space. Your mother chose to work with an NGO that serves mentally challenged children. It is tough to be inspired to serve a section of society when you have never been impacted by the cause directly or indirectly. It is a struggle, but with some smart time management, flexi- timings, working from home, and leveraging the power of the cell phone, your mama makes sure that she does her best for this cause but is still always there for you and the family at every point. And while doing all this, she finds time for her exercise, meditation, and pranic healing practice, which she believes is critical to her own physical and spiritual well-being. Your mother does sometimes wonder if she is being productive to the best of her abilities, but doesn’t fully appreciate how I love the balance she has found in her life.

I have also discovered that it is very important for any person not to live life being distracted or pushed by other people’s opinions, influences, or expectations. In doing so, we land up doing things that don’t really give us any lasting sense of joy, and because the passion is missing, we can’t make any meaningful contribution to what we are doing. As children grow up, parents want them to be something that they themselves dreamt of becoming, or what they believe will be appreciated by others. For you, we don’t want anything of that sort. Our dream for you is to seek the counsel of well-wishers, but follow your own dream, whatever that is, without the restrictions of parental or societal expectations.

When I was growing up, career choices were dictated by necessity. If anybody wanted to make a middle-class living they had to become an engineer, a doctor, or a chartered accountant. The relative good fortune that we’ve had, and the evolution of our country, will give you some flexibility to do what you want to do. Whatever it is you choose to do, remember that you don’t have to be rich or famous or successful, you just need to enjoy the journey and be happy. As you grow up, your mom and I are hoping that we are able to give