Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters by Menon, Sudha (books suggested by bill gates txt) 📗

I was very lucky that, by God’s grace, I landed up doing things that have really given me enjoyment, but at various points over the years, I could have actually got pushed into something because it was the right thing to do from a society or family point of view and I would have been miserable if I had actually gone down that path. Life sometimes presents you with these small left or right turns and you land up on a completely different road. I got very lucky in landing up doing something I wanted to do. But in your case, I want to make sure it’s not serendipity but a more thoughtful process that arises from within you, so that you know what will give you joy. While we will counsel and debate with you, we are always going to be okay with any well-thought through choices that you might make. Yes, we will be as happy if you want to sing, or become a dancer, or serve a cause fulltime, as we will be if you want to become a chef and start a restaurant!

Darling Anna, I now want to share with you two other big lessons that I have learnt along the way, the first of which is that often people grossly overestimate the value of Intelligence Quotient and grossly underestimate the value of Emotional Quotient (terms that you will learn to appreciate as you grow). I have learnt that every parent pushes their child on the Intelligence Quotient aspect. Mostly this is marked by a desire for their child to be a topper. What I really want is to raise you in such a way that your emotional quotient and ability to think flourishes over simple academic excellence. I am convinced that in the long run, as a thinker, and a more emotionally balanced person, you will get a lot more out of life, than someone purely aspiring for straight ‘A’s!

The other learning that I want to share with you is that if there is one other thing that will truly distinguish you, it will be compassion. As you grow, you will begin to appreciate how important a quality this is, given the opportunity to spread happiness to those you know and the many others you do not, in this very unequal world we live in. Instead of lecturing you about being a good human being, we have and will continue to do our best to demonstrate to you through leading by example. From working with children, we know how incredibly observant kids are, and how much they absorb from simple observation. And so, my dear Anna, we hope you will learn compassion from the way we conduct ourselves at home, with each other, and with the domestic help who works with us.

We believe that compassion will also be kindled by the exposure that you will get to observe how to positively impact those less privileged, and then have the opportunity to practice this as you keep growing. This is why, when you were still a very little child, you celebrated some of your birthdays at the Asha Sadan orphanage. I don’t know if you still remember but last year you actually participated for the first time by serving the kids at the orphanage the goodies that we had taken along. You happily played with them and seemed to have a great time at the party. I know that you also enjoy giving biscuits to urchins at traffic lights, and have got to understand why that is a good idea and giving them money is not. Do you remember the time we went to the Sobo Central Mall for a little outing, and I bought you a giant lollipop that had totally bedazzled you? If you do, you will also remember how when we came out of the mall, a poor boy at entrance asked you for the lollipop. Initially, you were confused, but then when I nodded and smiled, you happily gave it away, and we trooped back in to buy you a new one. When we came back out, the little boy had come back with a friend, whose look begged you for the same generosity! It warmed my heart when you looked at me for approval and once again gave away your treat. I can still see how excited you were to see the boys so happy with their unexpected treat, and we went back in for you to receive a reward of two giant lollipops.

My dear Anna, I now want to tell you about a subject that deeply engrosses me and one that I know you will also reflect on as you grow older—the purpose of wealth. I want you to know my views on this because it will also help you understand some of my own actions, which are somewhat counter to established practices of our times. I believe that wealth is an incredible tool and a godsend blessing. When used productively, it can bring long-lasting joy and true happiness, but when misused, or accumulated without purpose, it can become a disease that destroys families and relationships.

I want your pursuit for your passions to be driven more by your desire to excel and be happy, than the desire to simply earn wealth. True wealth is happiness, and in my own experience, true wealth will chase you if you do the right things. Don’t be mistaken, my love, we certainly do not want you to be lazy. We certainly want you to explore your full potential, but with a sense of balance and not a mindless pursuit of wealth. Growing up in very affluent surroundings, my mother would never push us to study, but instead, she would explain to us that if we wanted to be successful, it would solely be on the basis of the values she sought to instil in us and