Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (book series to read .TXT) 📗

discovered many truths the last two years. Those truths left my heart torn, and my world turned upside down, but I’d also learned a lot about myself. I’d focus more on growth, and less on the pain that lingered—it was a promise I made to myself. Here’s to new beginnings…

Epilogue

 

One Year Later

 

Marcus

 

Receiving that phone call from Melinda was the scariest moment of my life. Abby tried to commit suicide. This was my fault. I did this. I’d pushed her to her limit and even when she suggested we take time apart to think about our marriage, I ignored her. I didn’t want to face the truth. When Katie and I began our relationship, I didn’t expect it to turn as serious as it did. I wouldn’t say that I was ever in love, but I cared for her deeply. She ignited a spark that Abby and I had been missing. Instead of trying to repair what I already had, I ran off with the thought that I’d found better. I was wrong.

Staying with Abby and continuing on like everything was normal seemed like what I needed to do. I had hopes that I could end things with Katie, yet I never did. That’s on me. I screwed up bigtime. The longer things dragged along, the more remorse I felt.

Abby told me that she didn’t try to commit suicide, but she never actually admitted why she was in the hospital. Once divorce was mentioned, that was our only topic of discussion. I didn’t drag it along. There was no point—I’d already hurt her enough. She moved out and then disappeared for a while. When she came back, she said she had gotten treatment for anxiety and depression, which prompted me to believe that had something to do with her hospital visit. I knew she had some struggles, and I knew she was on medication for it, but I never actually took the time to listen or help her. That was another place I screwed up.

We still talk occasionally. I’ll never be able to completely let her go. I wished things would have gone differently. She seems to be at peace with everything, but even now, the guilt consumes me. Seeing her move on with someone else will be a hard pill to swallow. I don’t know how I’ll handle it.

When Katie caught wind of the divorce, she was ecstatic. Every day I was pressured to give her a ring, but that wasn’t something I could commit to. Eventually, I had to end things with her. She just didn’t understand the situation. Nothing about it was as easy as it seemed to her.

I don’t know what happens next for me. I’m not sure where I’ll go from here. I’ve been pouring myself into work to keep my mind occupied, but that’s something I’ve always done. Maybe that’s part of my problem. I don’t slow down and appreciate the things that mean the most to me. I’d like to think that there’s happiness out there for me, but at this point, I’m not really even sure. It’s not easy to “forgive and forget.” Although Abby seems to have moved on, I’m not sure that she’ll ever forgive me. I don’t blame her, because I haven’t forgiven myself. And I’ll never forget. My mistake will always be in the back of my mind taunting me. There’s no doubt in my mind, if I could go back in time, things would have been different…

Gage

 

When Beth left me, I was left all alone in my house to reflect on all the recent events in my life. That’s when everything started to hit me. Although my relationship with my wife was terrible, I should have never stepped out on my marriage. I guess I deserved this. The feelings that I now harbored were almost too much to bear.

I don’t regret Abby. She was there for me at a time when I needed her. What I do regret is leading her on to believe we were something more than what we actually were. I did care about her. I felt like I loved her. I just wasn’t in love with her. There was a point when I thought a future with her might actually be real. As things worsened at home, my mind started to change. I didn’t know what my future held. While Abby was away, my head entered a dark space and I knew I had to end things with her before it became any deeper. I was an ass, but I didn’t want to let her go completely. I still wanted her as a friend and I tried to maintain that friendship, but eventually she disappeared. She said she couldn’t handle just being friends. I guess I understood that. I should have stayed away from her when I ended things the first time. Truth was, I was drawn to her, but I took it further than I should have. Honestly, I let sex cloud my mind.

I’m currently in a battle with Beth over Bentley. She wants to restrict me to weekend visitation, but I’m fighting for joint custody. I’m sure this is my karma. This is the one situation I never wanted to be in.

I don’t know what’s next for me, or where I go from here. My only focus is my son and my business. Everything else will happen as it should. We learn from our mistakes and I’ve definitely learned a lot the past two years. Abby has a place in my heart, but I’m pretty positive that ship has sailed. She’s done with me and I can’t say that blame her…

Abby

 

Everything happens for a reason. It’s a concept I’ve yet to fully grasp, although I know it stands true. My need to know the why of everything has literally driven me insane.  After my divorce, I spent some time