Finding Home by Kate Field (read book .txt) 📗

Mim went back to the caravan that night and looked around the space that had been hers for the last five months. It wasn’t just an old caravan to her. This place had been a lifeline, offering her comfort and safety when she’d been at her lowest point. She loved living here, especially now the weather was warmer and she could throw open the doors and windows instead of huddling under the duvet. She loved being able to spend her spare minutes sitting on the cliff tops, watching the waves down below and the gulls circling overhead, enjoying the sort of peace that had been missing in her life until now. But she had to be realistic. The caravan had only ever been meant as a temporary place to stay. At some point she would need to move on and find a permanent base. Did it make sense to make that base in Lancashire, now that she knew Lucas was there? Was it really what their dad would have wanted, for his family to be together? She’d never had the chance to know him but perhaps it wasn’t too late to make him proud.

Her gaze fell on the college prospectuses, lying open on the courses she’d flagged as possibilities. Something else she would have to leave behind if she went back north. She ignored the sudden twist of disappointment. There would be similar courses in Lancashire. It would be fine. She would have Lucas to cheer her on and encourage her, instead of the Howards.

The Howards. She’d been trying not to think about them but now they crowded into her head, loud and large as life. Bea and Bill, Lia and Ros. Corin. They had drawn her into their world and it was a wonderful place to be. The last few months had been some of the happiest of her life. But that was because she’d had no one else and nowhere else to go. Much as she loved the caravan, it wasn’t a proper home. Much as she liked the Howards, they weren’t her proper family. She wasn’t really one of them and she never could be. It had been a brilliant adventure staying here, one she would never forget, but was it time for the adventure to end?

She met Heather and Karen for their regular swim the next morning, after a night of tossing and turning over her decision.

‘Late night, was it?’ Karen asked, smiling. ‘You still look half asleep. What have you been up to?’

‘Nothing as exciting as you’re suggesting.’ Mim grabbed a slice of coffee cake and told them about Lucas’s suggestion that she go back north.

‘You’re not really going to leave, are you?’ Heather asked. ‘I thought you were settled here now. We’d miss you.’ Mim would miss them too. They were the first real friends she’d ever had. But now she knew that such friendship existed, she could find friends in Lancashire, couldn’t she?

‘We wouldn’t have to make as much cake,’ Karen said. She smiled and reached out to pat Mim’s hand. ‘We’ve all become fond of you.’

‘I love it here,’ Mim said. ‘But it’s not a permanent sort of life, is it? It’s been like an extended holiday from reality. I can’t still be living in a borrowed caravan in twenty years’ time, even if Bea and Bill didn’t mind. I have to think of the future. I love working in the Boat but I don’t earn enough to afford a place of my own, especially somewhere round here. It’s much cheaper to live in Lancashire. I’d have better prospects there.’

‘That’s true,’ Karen said. ‘Everything is more expensive down here. We get better weather though, most of the time. I wouldn’t relish living in that caravan over winter, however cosy it looks now. You were lucky there was no snow this year.’

‘Don’t encourage her,’ Heather said, nudging Karen to shut her up. Mim smiled. This was exactly what she would miss. ‘Okay, there are some practical arguments in favour of going. But there are lots of reasons to stay, too. You’re earning money and not paying rent – that’s not something to give up lightly. You’ve made friends here and become part of the village community. And what about the charity? You’re a trustee and you’ve put so much work into it. The first guests are about to arrive. Don’t you want to see it through?’

‘Yes. I want to make sure it’s a success. It would be one of the hardest things to leave behind,’ Mim said. ‘But the idea of the charity is to allow families to spend quality time together and make memories. Shouldn’t I be doing that with my family? You live in the same village as Bobby. You wouldn’t want to move away from him would you?’

Heather hesitated then shook her head with obvious reluctance.

‘No, I wouldn’t. When Carmel died, I couldn’t have managed without him. He was my rock. There’s nothing like having the support of your family when you need them.’ She smiled. ‘I’m not helping persuade you to stay, am I? What’s your heart telling you to do?’

‘I haven’t a clue,’ Mim said. ‘I think mine is purely functional. It’s never spoken to me yet.’

‘Perhaps you need to make time to listen.’

‘I don’t have time. Lucas is due to leave tomorrow.’ He had pressed her for an answer and she felt terrible that she hadn’t given him one yet. She’d come close many times but something had held her back, sticking the words in her throat. ‘I keep coming back to the same point. He’s my family, like you and Bobby. That means everything to someone like me. If I let him leave, I’ll always wonder if it was a mistake and what our relationship might have been.’

‘Can’t you make it a holiday?’ Karen asked. ‘Go for a week or two and see if it works out.’

‘Give it a trial run to see if I like having a family? How would