Finding Home by Kate Field (read book .txt) 📗

Mim hardly knew. Nothing was making sense right now. Words tumbled out of her mouth without thought.

‘Well, look at you. Look at me. We’re not a good match, are we?’

‘Why not?’

‘You should fall in love with someone who says baa-th.’ She exaggerated the long vowel. ‘With someone who attends posh dinner dances, not who serves the drinks at one. Someone who went to the right school and university and who is bright enough to scrape more than one A level. You shouldn’t fall in love with someone who sleeps in their car. And not with someone who has this and everything it stands for,’ she added, twisting her arm so that the puckered, scarred skin was facing towards him.

He took her arm in his hand and gently ran his finger down the damaged flesh. Mim could hardly breathe.

‘That’s not who you are,’ he said. ‘I fell in love with someone with extraordinary strength and resilience. Someone honest – brutally so, at times. Someone who can smile and laugh and work to help others even when she has nothing. Someone who is beautiful, inside and out. That’s the Mim I see. How could I not fall in love with you?’

Did he mean it? She could still hardly believe it. He looked sincere. There was softness in his eyes, warmth in his expression that corroborated his words, and it invited Mim to let go and bask in it. He took hold of both her hands.

‘Well, Mim? I have to ask the obvious question. Do you love me?’

‘I don’t know.’

What else could she say? He’d just praised her for her honesty, so how could she give him anything but an honest answer? She’d never experienced love. She didn’t know if what she felt for Corin was love or not. But she could see from the pain etched on his face that this time her honesty had been too brutal. He leaned forward until his forehead was touching hers and she felt the disappointment in his sigh.

‘Can’t you stay and we can find out?’ he murmured.

‘I can’t,’ she said. And then his lips met hers as if he was trying to stop the words leaving her mouth. It was a kiss like no other – full of tenderness, full of love, and full of the promise of what could be. But she’d made a promise of her own to Lucas and she couldn’t break it, even for kisses like this. Especially not for kisses like this. She forced herself to pull away, though it felt as though she were tearing herself in two.

‘I don’t want you to go,’ Corin said. ‘Surely we can work something else out? Find Lucas a job here, or split our weeks…’

‘I have to go.’ Mim held one of his hands between both of hers. It wasn’t the hand of the idle, rich man she’d once assumed him to be. They were the rough, worn hands of a man who had spent years helping others to improve their chances and to live their best possible life. She willed him to understand that she needed to live hers now. ‘You of all people should understand why. You left Africa when your family needed you. There are no compromises. Family comes first, whatever your own wishes might be.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I have to be with Lucas. He’s family, and that means everything to me. I’m not on my own anymore. I belong with someone. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Please understand. I have to choose him.’

Corin pulled her into a hug. His heart thudded against her chest and his breath was warm in her hair. She had no idea how long they stayed that way; time had ceased to exist.

‘Be happy,’ he said at last and gave her a final, haunting kiss.

He drew back. Mim couldn’t stop herself. She reached up and ran her hand down the side of his face, exploring for the first and last time the softness of his hair, the smoothness of his cheek, the firmness of his chin.

‘Be safe,’ she said. ‘Stay away from those cliffs.’

He nodded, then he walked away along the beach, Dickens at his side, his head bent low, and Mim watched until his figure disappeared on the horizon.

Chapter Twenty-One

Lucas was not impressed with the Volvo.

‘The radio doesn’t work,’ he said in disgust, after fiddling with the buttons in vain to try to find Radio 1.

‘How can there be no air-conditioning,’ he asked, half an hour into their journey, when the sun was beating down on them and the temperature in the car was becoming uncomfortable, even with the windows open. Windows that had to be wound open manually – another source of derision.

Mim hardly noticed his complaints. She was busy concentrating on every last detail of the Devon countryside, to remember over the coming months and to stop her focusing on some of the more painful scenes of the last few days.

It hadn’t all been painful. The arrival of the first official guests of As You Like It holidays yesterday had been a joy and a privilege to witness. Four families and one couple had arrived at various times throughout the day, looking fraught and weary, and Mim had witnessed their spirits lifting as they saw the caravan site bathed in sunshine and breathed in the sea air. She hoped that they could find a fraction of the happiness that she had experienced staying there.

Saying a final goodbye to her friends had been the hardest moments. Karen and Heather had insisted that Mim join them for one final swim on Sunday morning, and it had been perfect. The sea was calm and as warm as it had ever been, and Mim had floated on her back knowing that she would never forget the last few months. They had changed her life. She had learned the meaning of true friendship. She had discovered that there was more kindness in the world than